Scattergories Ep. 15

This episode was all about fun! Have you ever played Scattergories?
Episode 15 we played our own version of Scattergories by throwing out some random topics and discussing how we felt about them. Starting with trigger words, then moving into embarrassing drunk moments and finishing off with what celebrating sobriety looks like for us. Next time you have a game night with your family or friends create your own round of Scattergories, you may be surprised what you learn about each other!

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**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.

Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents

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Transcript

Ep. 15 Scattergories

[00:00:00] intro

[00:00:00] Kelly: Welcome to the laugh life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze-soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey, Djordjevic, Mike Sutton and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories.

[00:00:26] Kelly: We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support.

[00:00:42] Mike: Welcome everyone to week 15 and next category is called Scattergories. We are going to be talking about this, that, and the other thing, we're just really not sure, but we've got a few ideas. So, I think what we're going to do is, well, hello, all how, how you guys do it. Everybody's doing great. Good, good. I think we're going to start off with something that we've talked about off air here and there. I think we'll start off with. Trigger words. And how do trigger words affect us in both the positive and the negative, and maybe talk about some, some things that we would do to help us in either situation. So, I think this week, the lucky individual that gets to start us off is Ms. Kelly. 

[00:01:34] Kelly: Ooh, trigger words. So, you want me to pick a word or what, how does it, how does this Scattergories work? 

[00:01:41] Mike: Yes. Yeah. Well, the rules of Scattergories off

[00:01:44] Mike: Hold on for a second. Let me get my rules here. How about I throw a word at each one of you and we'll see where we go. So, I'm going to start with the word sobriety. Kelly, what does that do for you? 

[00:02:00] Kelly: Well, I am sober. I've been sobered for over four years. I don't have a negative opinion about that word. I planned and hope and pray that I will be sober for the rest of my life. It's a choice I make every day that I wake up. Number one on my list of self-care is stay sober. 

[00:02:23] Mike: And when someone asks you about your sobriety, that word sobriety doesn't make you feel any, I don't know different than say 

[00:02:32] Kelly: To answer part of that beginning of question, when I say I'm sober, that makes me feel super proud of myself. 

[00:02:38] Mike: Okay, great. Great. There we go. What else? What else? 

[00:02:42] Kelly: That's how it makes me feel. 

[00:02:44] Lindsey: I love it. Kelly proud, 

[00:02:47] Kelly: proud. 

[00:02:47] Kelly: No, we will obviously it's a big step in one's life to, to make the changes that we've all made. I know for some people there's like there's a negative or a maybe if you will, around the word sobriety and some related towards like weakness or troubles or just this in a negative way. And I just wondered if, if anything like that ever visited you from the beginning or even up until now.

[00:03:17] Kelly: Well, I know the difference between being sober and not sober and weakness for me would be turning to wine. Every time I had an emotion, I couldn't deal with that's weakness. Strength is choosing to not do what everybody else is doing and find different ways and sit in my feelings instead of numbing them away.

[00:03:37] Mike: Right. 

[00:03:40] Kelly: So, my opinion on people being triggered by words, I'll just say this right now. Cause I know what's going to come up. I would say if you're triggered by a word or anything, if you're triggered by anything in life, ask yourself, why am I triggered and see what comes up? I think that's a real Lindsey. And I've talked about that before. Absolutely. I think that's a real, if you want to head on a path of, not just sobriety, but self-development, that's huge. Why am I triggered by this thing or this person or this situation or this word? Why question ask yourself 

[00:04:13] Mike: so that self-development is connected to sobriety in a lot of ways that I'd say, would you agree or, 

[00:04:19] Kelly: oh, for sure.

[00:04:20] Kelly: Yeah. That's awesome. What about you trace, what does the word sobriety mean to you in the context of trigger or just a word in general? 

[00:04:29] Tracey: Yeah, it doesn't trigger me in any way, as I've said before. I don't identify with it so much. It's just not the way I choose to describe my journey. I guess. I wouldn't even say I don't identify with it because I am sober and I don't find anything negative around the word, I don't feel it describes my choices as well as say alcohol free. So that's why I relate more to that. Right. Also, Lindsay touched on this too, I guess when I started my journey my intention initially, wasn't like, I'm never drinking again. Whereas sobriety to me, as Kelly even said for herself means, she's committed to never drinking again. Now that's something that's probably changed for me over time. Since I've been alcohol free for longer, the longer I have been alcohol free, the more and more I feel like this is something I want to commit to forever, because I feel good about it. I feel better in my life right now than I had felt in years. And I want to keep that going. And not only that, I'm at a point where I asked myself, why would I drink? What would it be how is it going to benefit or enhance my life at this point? I don't feel like it would in any kind of way. So therefore, I don't see myself drinking. So as my journey progresses, there might be a time where I would more identify with sobriety, but it's not something I currently do now. And not for any negative reason. I think anybody that is sober is a strong person and someone who one has self-awareness two has had the ability to make a significant change in their life.

[00:06:19] Tracey: And like Kelly said is showing a huge amount of strength, not weakness. 

[00:06:25] Mike: Right. And you feel that, did you come this far? That word sobriety does it relate to like that whole It's somebody who has like a drinking problem and really needs to, get sober and maybe seek treatment because it's a medical scenario, as opposed to what, you know, your scenario was as I decided to go alcohol free. 

[00:06:49] Tracey: I think I know what you're saying and yeah, definitely. I guess the way I have been raised around I'll call the people that I know that were sober prior, where people, yes. That had extreme problems that went into programs that went into recovery that probably had withdrawal symptoms and things that I personally didn't experience. And so, for me, it definitely was whatever the idea I've grown up with right at shaped how I see it or feel about it right or wrong. That's just been my experience. And that's why, I relate my journey a little differently than that, but I'm starting to see through this process. And the more I get to know other people that are living their lives, I'll alcohol free. That it looks different for everybody. And there's so many different ways to describe it. We don't need to label it. So, it's opening my eyes to the fact that we don't have to attach certain things to these words either. It's all in what we're experiencing as individuals. 

[00:08:00] Mike: Right. I'll comment more on that, but I want to hear it. Lindsay's words on sobriety share Linz share. 

[00:08:08] Lindsey: Yeah, I, that word scares me because like I was saying before we hit record to me, that word is described somebody who's never drinking again. Just like Tracy said, I can relate to her because I came into this journey, the same thinking. I'm not sure if I'll ever drink again. I might, but for right now alcohol, I can't be drinking. I don't have a healthy relationship with it. And sober is a word when I hear it, I'm like, oh, that person had a problem. That person had an addiction. Right. And I'm like, whoa, is that, is that me? Did I, oh my God. Oh,

[00:08:54] Kelly: does somebody who breaks their collar bone walking and walking into the wall. Have a problem. I don't know. I'm not judgin girl, but I'm just wondering, 

[00:09:01] Lindsey: I don't know, like right, but sober I'm like, it's just such a solid word. You're never going to drink again. And I was having a conversation with a friend about the other day about going on vacation or, going to an all-inclusive resort, what I have a drink and I'm trying to visualize myself there. And every single time in the past that I've been on vacation or at these resorts or in Hawaii or anywhere I've always been drinking. So that scares the crap out of me, the word sober, because I'm like, oh man, I've been. Alcohol-free see, that's the phrase that I use to describe myself. I've been alcohol-free for over two years, and then if I had a drink, I'm not sober and now I have to start all over again.

[00:09:49] Lindsey: So 

[00:09:50] Mike: that's a good point. So, you're not by definition sober. And we'll use your example of you decide that you know what, I'm going on an all-inclusive vacation and I'm going to have a few drinks. Why does that define the word sober in the context of, I know there will be, people will say, well, because it is what it is.

[00:10:09] Mike: There's, there's a clear definition. 

[00:10:11] Lindsey: Yeah. It's a break in your alcohol free. 

[00:10:13] Mike: Right. What I'm getting at is, why would you, and I'm not seeing you would do this, but why would someone. Beat themselves down for, making that decision and saying, you know what, I had a few drinks and now I'm going back to the lifestyle. We do it with food and diet. When we say, hey, we're yo-yoing or, we're working out, or we do all these things in life where we pop out and say, oh, you know what? I had a, I had a cookie or, something like that, and I've fallen off my food. And I'm not trying to play light here. And please don't anybody think that I'm, 

[00:10:46] Kelly: I think you just gotta be careful here because there's people whose lives would, they would die. They would die if they had another drug, and I might 

[00:10:53] Mike: disagree a hundred percent. I'm relating my comments to what Lindsay was saying about that whole mental. I got to start over again. That's where I was going with this. It's don't be yourself to a point of you are defeated. You, know what I mean? 

[00:11:06] Lindsey: I think that comes from AA. Like when I hear sober, I think AA and I think about the chips and the, all the things that you get. So, and I think it's from movies and the things that I know about AA, I've never actually attended meetings for myself, but I have that feeling that, once you hit a year or six months, or however many months, three months, you get that chip. And then if you drank, it's almost like taken away and you've got to start all over again. So, you're not sober anymore. And sober too, like by definition is basically not being drunk, being, clearheaded, it refers a lot to alcohol, but you know, sobriety also includes other substances too, like drugs. But, yeah, and I think there's a lot of shame in that. If you fall off the wagon or if you say, decide I'm going to drink, or I'm going to have a couple drinks, and then I'm going to go back to my lifestyle where alcohol isn't a part of it. I don't know that you can still identify as being sober right.

[00:12:06] Lindsey: To me. I think if you chose to have a drink, it is like, you're starting again from square one. But does that mean that all that work that you've put in all that development? Is that just banished and gone? 

[00:12:17] Mike: Yeah, that's what I was trying to get to. And I wasn't really putting my words together very well, but it was that whole don't feel defeated mentality and Kelly's right. I mean, let's be honest. There are a lot of people out there that we know for sure that a one drink is just that's it. Not good. So not to downplay that at all, anybody out there, 

[00:12:37] Lindsey: There's different. People and perspectives like somebody who has a physical dependency with no control who has physical withdrawals, if they don't drink, I don't want to say different, but I don't like, even with our guests that we had yesterday is a very powerful story. I don't identify, that's not my experience. Right. And I think there are different experiences with alcohol. How do I say this? If I have a drink, I'm gonna probably keep drinking. I won't just have one drink and be like, okay. I had my drink. I'm going to get drunk. Right. But then I already know, I can just make that decision and say, okay, that's it. I'm starting again. I'm not going to drink. Cause that's what I've done. And it's not going to affect me physically. I'm not going to think about it. I don't have that fight in me everyday to reject the alcoholic. It's not on my mind at all. 

[00:13:37] Mike: You know, everybody's situation is different. And look, we know enough medically about brain chemistry and how it relates to alcoholism. And then there's that whole topic of hereditary. And I mean, we could go really, really deep into all this, but we won't. I just think that, you know, for me, I'm kind of on the same spectrum as you Lindsay, I can't say that I never will, but right now, like with Tracy that, I mean, I just don't see, I've been to super bowl parties and I've been golfing with them and played sports and those were all the events for which drinking took place, the large majority of my life. I think to myself, I'm not really, I'm not interested, but the vacation thing is the that gets me thinking. It's the one that gets in my head. I used to go on a trip with my baseball buddies and we'd go to Arizona. The whole week is playing baseball and getting absolutely. And they were like, hey, you're going to come this year. I'm a party. Yeah. I want to go. But I thought I've got to get my own condo because I can't room wise and like its constant beer and weed and let them do it. I mean, I did it, I've done it a number of times. It's I don't know that I would want to be constantly around it because I would be in that mode of, I'm not having fun. Like I just am not, I'm not in me. Good spot. 

[00:15:04] Lindsey: So, I like that though. I think you shouldn't, if you're living alcohol free, putting yourself in a situation like that, that would be tempting. You're setting yourself up for failure, for sure. Like if staying alcohol free is a goal, putting yourself in that situation, I don't think would be a good idea. And that gets me thinking, like, if I want a vacation in Mexico, maybe instead of staying at an all-inclusive resort, surrounded by booze, I rent an Airbnb this time. You know what I mean? There are different things 

[00:15:34] Mike: for a visit one day friends down there because they get through a day without having a drink at all. Lots of great. 

[00:15:42] Lindsey: Yeah, there's tons of great food. Oh, my goodness. 

[00:15:45] Tracey: I think it's just that we've all been held back from vacationing for so long that we think

[00:15:57] Kelly: vacation, sober resort, and I'm away right now. And. I can share that. It's so amazing that, I feel like I got the gift of time because I'm not chasing the next drink. I'm not nursing a hangover. I'm not wondering when happy hour is going to start or, if we're going to end up at a bar somewhere so I can have my next drink just way more time to do fun things. And I remember everything some of my most embarrassing moments. I don't know if part of Scattergories tonight embarrassing moments is, but I have like a week's worth of embarrassing moments from an all-inclusive resort in Mexico. 

[00:16:39] Kelly: I love traveling sober. It's so amazing.

[00:16:42] Lindsey: I love hearing that. What's just gives me like hope it's, you know, 

[00:16:47] Kelly: you have time, and you're present for everything, and you remember everything, and you enjoy it. You soak it all in and yeah, it's beautiful. I love it. 

[00:16:54] Mike: So why don't we let's change the category on status, 

[00:17:00] Lindsey: Mike? No, Mike, no, no. I want to hear when you're sober, now your turn, Mike, here's the word sober.

[00:17:07] Mike: For me, it's like, I think you hit on it with the alcohol AA type of thing. I remember this I always remember my mom telling me, cause my dad was an alcoholic and my mom would always say, you know, I don't want you to end up like your dad. And I would get frustrated with her and say, well, I'm not him. how dare you is what I'm thinking. And I was insulted by that. We're just, I related sobriety to alcoholics anonymous. It was a sticky, point because you know what? I never considered myself to be an alcoholic now by definition, I was because I drank, when I drank, I drank nine, 10 beers at a time and it was four times a week. We all have this this little voice in our head that I always refer to is talking about the judgment that we judge ourselves, et cetera, et cetera. So, when my dad had passed, when we were cleaning out his things, I remember opening this drawer and seeing this book, and it was alcoholics anonymous and something like that.

[00:18:05] Mike: And I thought, fuck, he was trying to clean up his act and he just couldn't do it. And I sat there, and I thought to myself, why would my mom think that I would be like him? I think my mom's projection of fear and her son not wanting to cause it was her ex-husband and all, 

[00:18:21] Lindsey: but like a failure to like, don't be, don't be like him as basically AKA don't be a failure. Don't fail. Don't try to quit something and not be able to. 

[00:18:32] Mike: Well, another factor for me was, is that my dad was a brilliant man, like a brilliant man. He was very, very smart and he screwed up a lot of jobs in the seventies because he would go out at lunch, and he'd go to the bar, and he wouldn't come back. And those things I remember, hearing about them later on in life. And when I always related hearing these stories to. When my mom would, you know, she was worried. She wasn't, she wasn't saying, you know, you've got a problem. She just was worried. She didn't want to see her son go down that road. So that whole sobriety thing to me was, I'm not at that level. I don't think I would be like; I could stop well; I did stop it. I just quit. I wanted to quit. But for me, that whole, that whole word is related to that kind of experience. And again, not a bad thing. It's just that, that's what it is for me. So, 

[00:19:22] Lindsey: A lot of work sober when I like, when you're telling that story right now that you're just saying. To me. I'm like sober. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of willpower, restraint, boring. 

[00:19:33] Mike: I don't use it to describe myself when someone I saw a guy the other day, for example, he says, hey, you play in ball this year. And I said, actually, I don't think I'm good at it. Cause my shoulders sore and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all you can come by and have some beers with the guys. And I didn't just say, well, I don't drink because dude, you saw me last year. I was, I was right. But I would stay in, in congregate with them. But anyway, I didn't sit there and say, well, I'm sober. And I would just say to somebody, if you say, hey, you know, you want to be heard and I don't drink, and I just leave it at that. Oh, okay. So that's what it is. 

[00:20:05] Kelly: Can I say something there's no judgment. I think it's interesting. And I've, this has crossed my mind a few times. I think it's super interesting that I'm the only one out of the four of us that didn't have drinking parents or add drinking parent. You see where I'm going with this explain?

[00:20:25] Tracey: I was going to say, maybe this is why the three of us relate sobriety that Kel 

[00:20:31] Kelly: yeah. And it's crossed my mind before, just out of curiosity, not out of judgment at all. Cause I know that you guys don't. Say I'm sober and I do. I just think it's interesting that that's a 

[00:20:44] Lindsey: yeah, because like negativity around that word.

[00:20:48] Kelly: Yeah. We can get attached to words, we can get a shirt labels that word obviously like just like lens at time that, you know, you were, you dated that guy and he said, I'm an alcoholic. And you were like, Ooh, I scared you. Right. And then I was like, why he's the same as you, you know, he doesn't drink just like you. So anyway, I think it's interesting that we become so attached to words and labels. And then you got to ask yourself, like, what's making me have this attachment to this word because it's just a word. It is. Yeah. And it means something different for everybody. I've met people that say, you know, I'm sober from alcohol, but I still smoke weed or I'm sober from crack, but I still drink. Some people say I'm sober and they won't even take Tylenol. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't matter. It's just a word. That's my opinion. Okay. 

[00:21:37] Lindsey: That's good. Like that's for sure noted that is, I didn't even put those. I didn't put that together. 

[00:21:44] Mike: Wow. 

[00:21:47] Kelly: And I love to stir up shit 

[00:21:51] Lindsey: to somebody that is they say I'm sober from alcohol, but I smoke weed in my mind. I'm like, you're not sober. That's a judge. 

[00:21:59] Kelly: So, you're judging your definition of sober.

[00:22:01] Kelly: Yeah. 

[00:22:02] Lindsey: I'm just like, that's not, you're still under the influence of something 

[00:22:06] Kelly: because that's your opinion. But to them, they're, you know, 

[00:22:10] Mike: this is our real first kind of, 

[00:22:12] Kelly: I know, I like it. your opinion, but that's not theirs. That's their, their journey.

[00:22:20] Mike: This is fun. This is fun. This is not okay. 

[00:22:23] Lindsey: What's our next word. You 

[00:22:24] Kelly got to come up with the next one 

[00:22:27] Mike: category. I would really like to hear Share a funny story and you can't go back and use a broken collarbone story. I broke my collarbone story 

[00:22:40] Lindsey already got one in mind here.

[00:22:42] Kelly: Dating story.

[00:22:43] Lindsey: That is funny. I should tell it. 

[00:22:45] Lindsey: Let 

[00:22:45] Mike: me introduce the segment for having said, so we're going to talk about embarrassing stories where we can sit back now and laugh and think holy cow, did I do that? And we're going to start with. Tracy. I want you guys if you would rather go last, Tracy, we can start with, we can start with Lindsey. 

[00:23:04] Tracey: You're going to have to start with one of the other girls, because I don't even have

[00:23:08] Kelly: she's calm, cool, collected. Well, that is not true. I get 

[00:23:13] Tracey: embarrassing things you'll ever meet. I've walked into tripped on things, knock things over. My family can't believe that I have not broken a wine glass in like two days because I don't drink wine anymore because I was notorious for just being the glass breaker and pretty sure they handed me special glasses. When I went to their house, just, 

[00:23:40] Lindsey: I used to get the special plastic wine glasses. I used to get those. 

[00:23:44] Lindsey: Yeah. Oh, gosh guys. I mean, well, I feel like the time has come for the story, Kelly, 

[00:23:53] Kelly: but it's not like, 

[00:23:56] Lindsey: it's not about my drinking, but I mean, I could tell 

[00:24:02] Kelly: Pero story. Did you tell us the whole God? 

[00:24:06] Lindsey: thank God. There's a suitcase story too. I don't even know if I want to get into that. But since I was talking, we were talking about vacations. This, this is actually, oh man, get ready to edit Tracy because I don't know how much is going to come out. But I remember this. So all-inclusive vacation in Mexico. This might even be alarming when I'm thinking about this in my head before I speak, I'm like, I can't actually believe I did this. So. It's booze, cruise time. And w we're going to go on a boat. Kelly's like, oh God girl. So, we're going to go in a boat. And I'm with my ex-partner. And, we have a couple of drinks at the resort before we, meet at the spot we get on the boat. I love being on boats. It's amazing. I love the water, the ocean breeze, everything is amazing. And of course, they serve you the most disgusting drinks on these things, right? Because it's just like cheap. They just want to get you drunk. This is what you go on these booze cruises for. But I, where was this? I'm sorry, this is in Mexico. This is in Mexico. In Cancun. Well, it was yeah. Tequila and something. I don't know, but I remember. Going down the stairs in the boat because of course I'm drinking. I have to pee every 20 minutes. Right. I find my way to the bathroom and it's the boat is going. And I'm like, oh my God, you're just super dizzy. I go to the bathroom, and I come out and I see this bottle. I don't even know what was in it. And it's like on this table beside the bathroom. And there's like empty cups there. Well, who do you think grabs that bottle and starts pouring their own drinks in these cups? I haven't no idea what was in that. And I drank that and then I'm coming up the stairs and I'm dancing with one of the guys on the boat. It was ridiculous. I would never behave this way, but who, who literally drinks. An unmarked bottle. You have no idea what's in it. And I just start making my own drinks, down by the bathroom, underneath by the, in, on the boat. That's embarrassing to me. That is, wow, that's yeah. I have another boat story. This one happened in Australia. And I was with a few girlfriends there and we actually call this champagne dinner. Like, that's how we refer to this because I, it was literally me on a boat, again, drinking champagne for a couple hours and then getting to this train station. I had to be carried onto the train. I couldn't even walk. There's a video of us. I've got one of my girlfriends on each side of me and they've also been drinking, and we just keep falling and stumbling over each other. Like it was so ridiculous, but yeah. Stay away from alcohol and boats. Friends don't do it. 

[00:27:04] Kelly: Yeah. Those cruises are brutal. 

[00:27:07] Lindsey: Deadly. Yeah. They're super brutal. Talk about out of character behavior and just looking like an ass, a total asshole, oh my God. 

[00:27:15] Mike: Well, wait a second. And to you. 

[00:27:18] Lindsey: Yeah. Yeah. Like I just, I felt so embarrassed. Even watching back, the video of the three of us just stumbling around Australia falling and everybody's laughing. I'm like, oh my God, humiliated. I felt totally embarrassed for sure.

[00:27:35] Mike: It was an eyeopener in regard to maybe I need to start considering. 

[00:27:40] Lindsey: Yes, of course. And then I was like, I'm never drinking again, but guess what? 

[00:27:45] Mike: Yeah. Well, I think in fairness, it's like dieting you have good intentions. You just got to keep going and keep going and keep going. Right. But that's likely what it was. 

[00:27:57] Lindsey: And I feel like the champagne dinner episode, that's kind of, when my relationship was really taking a turn, started to go really bad because I remember being on this boat and my spouse wasn't paying any attention to me. And you know what, my inner, my inner thoughts. Fuck. You I'll show you I'm just gonna drink and get drunk. And then it just did not end well, and there was a lot of gas lighting, yeah, it wasn't good. Just talking through that. I'm like, oh yeah, I remember how I felt. I remember being ignored and just, yeah. Feeling insignificant and not valued and small and using alcohol, the like, I don't know, numb that's exactly it to numb, but it ended up hurting me. Right. I looked like the idiot 

[00:28:47] Mike: you just weren't dealing with what was going on inside. You were like, you hit on and I take you really deal with something when you're in that state of mind. So, when you sit back and reflect, fear kicks in different range of emotions, denial, I mean, shit 

[00:29:03] Lindsey: my god and I have; I'm going to tell this one story. Cause I think it's for sure time. So, dating right online dating. of course, I don't drink. I've been talking to this guy for, I don't know, a couple of weeks telephone calls almost daily and We're like, let's meet this, you know? And I was like, man, I really feel a connection with this person. Like a really strong connection. We were talking about faith, and he believes in God and just like, I couldn't wait to talk to him every day. So, he says to me, I'm playing poker tomorrow. He's got this poker tournament that he does every year with his friends. And he isn't somebody that is, is sober or alcohol free. And I was like, okay. And he's like, well, after that, why don't we, why don't we get together? And the poker tournament was happening two minutes from my house. So, I was like, okay, well, why don't I come and pick you up from where you are? We'll come back to my place and just hang out or whatever. I did not anticipate like this poker tournament thing. This is serious business. I mean, it went until almost after 11:00 PM at night. And I was like, what's going on? are we not getting together? So, he calls, he was kind of updating me and texting me throughout the day and he ends up winning the game. So, it was like a $1,500 pot. They have this trophy that they like pass around and get their names engraved on it. I was like, oh my God, are we serious? But, okay, cool. So, he gives me the address of where he is and he gets in my car and right away, I was like, oh God, he is wasted. This is not going to end well. And then I thought, okay, like, no problem, no judgment. Like, it doesn't trigger me, but I was like, you just reek like booze, and I didn't realize talking to him because he didn't sound super drunk or anything like that. I didn't realize that he had been drinking at least that much, but then I'm like, ah, idiot, like it's a poker tournament. Right? What happens at these things? Anyways, long story short, we come back to my place. It was around Christmas time. I've got my tree and he sit down on my couch, and he starts crying. I'm like, what is happening? And he's crying about this woman at work that he wanted to help. And I, I honestly couldn't even understand him. And I was like, oh my God. at one point I get up to go to the bathroom and I'm like, I'm just going to take a time out over here. I'm going to go use the bathroom. And I come out and he's standing in the middle of my, living room, kitchen with his shirt off. He's taken his shirt off and he is just standing there now. And I think the hell is happening. And he's like, I don't know. I feel like I stink. And I'm like, well, your kind of sweaty boozy mess. I don't know what's happening here. And then he's like, I should call a cab. I'm like, yeah, you probably should. And then standing in my kitchen. He's trying to have a conversation with me and I'm realizing just how drunk he is. And he says that I'm gaslighting him. And I'm like, what? I don't know what you're talking about. And his cab came, and I was like, yeah, that was the end of that. I was like, wow. And he was like, you're judging me. And I was like, not really judging you, but this is how you want to present yourself. The first time you meet somebody like, whoa, like, and he knew that I didn't drink, I just laugh about it. It's really, that was a crazy story. I never felt like he was going to do anything stupid or anything to like to hurt me or harm me. But yeah. And I think he started to feel embarrassed, but I'm you're just way too drunk. I can't deal with this. I never talked to him again. After that

[00:32:50] Kelly: take his trophy, 

[00:32:51] Lindsey: he took his trophy. He was very. What is a very, very proud of that?

[00:32:55] Tracey: He was probably mortified the next day. I have no,

[00:32:57] Lindsey: I was just like, holy cow. 

[00:33:01] Kelly: All of the stories you still do. Stupid shit when you're not drinking.

[00:33:06] Lindsey: That's the moral of the story. Yeah. Can you imagine if I was drinking still? Oh my God. 

[00:33:14] Tracey: The two of you would have been a shit show for sure. 

[00:33:16] Lindsey: It would've been a shit show. 

[00:33:19] Mike: Yeah. That may have been another podcast altogether. 

[00:33:22] Lindsey: Oh my God. Yeah. Anyways, those are my stories. 

[00:33:26] Mike: Kelly. Kelly, why don't you tell us, 

[00:33:30] Kelly: follow that up, Kelly.

[00:33:31] Kelly: Oh, my goodness. I have so many embarrassing things that I did when I drank, I still have lots of shame around them. I would say we can, we can take a trip back to Mexico here. Just like Lindsay. I think I was important. I heard it though. Puerto Vallarta all-inclusive no kids. I was married and saw a couple at the airport that I had met once through my work. Didn't really know them, but it was maybe friends on social media, and they were a lot younger. They were on their honeymoon, and we ended up hanging out with them the whole. Just to drink our faces off. And me and her ended up in the middle of a dance floor at a wedding that we crashed. We were the only blonde people there. So, it was easy for the security guards to point us out, like we're down on the beach, on this dance floor. So, they could see us from up above at the resort. So, they came and dragged us off the dance floor. Every night on that vacation. I was blackout. So, the next day we would always discuss, you know, how at those resorts there's like, there's the sushi restaurant. There's the steak restaurant. There's the Mexican restaurant. There's so every single day we'd be like, so what, like, what does everybody want to do for dinner tonight? You know, that'd be part of our poolside conversation. And I would say, let's go to Mexican and I'd say it every day. And they'd be like, we already went there. We went there last night. I just never remembered anything. I lost a really good pair of $150 sandals. That was a big thing for me when I drank, I always ended up barefoot. I left shoes at concerts and oh 

[00:35:09] Lindsey: yeah, scary. I would be I'm going to step on glass. I'm going to cut my feet.

[00:35:13] Lindsey: Yeah. 

[00:35:14] Kelly: I didn't care. I always wanted that's. I don't know why, but I like, I do like being buried. Like, so maybe when I was drunk, I just wanted to even more, I lost a lot of shoes. Yeah. That was pretty embarrassing vacation. Just wasted all the time missed probably almost full days from being hung over.

[00:35:33] Kelly: Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. So, I much prefer sober. There you go. 

[00:35:40] Lindsey sounds like, I would prefer sober vacations. 

[00:35:43] Kelly: Yeah. Much better 

[00:35:44] Tracey: Mr. Sutton. 

[00:35:46] Mike: Yeah. So, I'm not like my stories are much crazier than that. I don't know, man. I feel like I was waiting for a big bombshell story from one of you guys to make me feel a little bit better.

[00:35:58] Kelly: Maybe another episode, let's do this, maybe episode 23, I'll be braver and share something. I, 

[00:36:06] Mike: Okay, well I'll preface and saying that in high school, I got suspended from high school twice and the same thing and it was mooning so 

[00:36:17] Lindsey: why am I not surprised? I'm really not. I'm not either. I feel like you're mischievous. 

[00:36:23] Mike: alcohol wasn't even involved in that scenario. I'm doing it. And I just did it, but there was one time where long story short, I went, golfing got annihilated and I was drinking with a buddy with a few buddies, but two of them had left. The one guy didn't drink, and he was driving other guys somewhere maybe to get more beer or something. And me and the other guy were sitting at the hope or standing at the host drinking. And there was a party across the road we were just standing there, and these two girls came out of the party and I kind of was like, what the hell is going on? And I kind of say to buddy, they go look what they're doing. These girls started taking their clothes off and, and I was like, well, I'm not going to say anything. And they're in their bra and underwear and they're running up and down the road. We didn't say anything. We just kind of stood there and then about, I dunno, five minutes later. We're standing in the garage and it's, it's lit, and they come out of the darkness. So, they scared us. I was like, holy crap. And they're like, hey, did you guys see anything? And I just said, unfortunately we did. And she said, what do you mean? I go, we were wearing your bra and panties. What the hell would we have saw? And she's like, oh, does that mean you want to be naked? You want me to be naked or something like that? I go, well, no, but yeah. I like sure. You want to run naked down the street? Yeah. Like, well, I'm not doing it by myself. I said, well, I'll do with you. And I just, without hesitation, just, and her and I went running down the street and I'm running and I'm thinking to myself, holy fuck. I'm running down the road with somebody. I don't know. And she got, and out of nowhere, she got. Let's rub our butts on cars. And I was like, what I thought, of course I did. This is crazy. And I'm thinking the police are going to come. The police caught red-handed and so we went back to the house, and I was like, oh my God, let's go swimming in your pool right now. Let's get out of the street and yeah, God. Yeah. That's yeah. 

[00:38:24] Lindsey: Classy moment. Mike. 

[00:38:25] Mike: There's many moments of intoxication. But I own it. I did it. I laugh at it now and I still, I like telling a story. I'm a storyteller and sharing experiences of these stories of mine and my friends. It would just make people laugh. And I kind of use these stories as a way to connect, believe it or not. I never really was embarrassed to the point of, oh my God, I can't believe I did it. But I did say to myself, I can't believe I did it, but I just kind of dropped it and okay, move on. I didn't dwell on it, I guess, is the way that I put it. And I think I probably. Did some stupid things when I was married to and drunk and getting naked and doing stupid shit that I was probably not supposed to do, nothing crazy bad, but yeah, stripping, I guess I always had this inner stripper in me that I never really thought 

[00:39:18] Tracey: to be naked and free.

[00:39:20] Mike: Yeah. I guess I was bold with my hair being as long as it is now. I should have been in the sixties, maybe in the early seventies. 

[00:39:26] Kelly: Well, at least I only wanted to be barefoot. I didn't want to take off all my clothes. That's just the beginning. 

[00:39:31] Mike: So, yeah, that's one. But I like Kelly says, we'll revisit this again. In episode, we'll have some more stories we can share, we can't, share them all. 

[00:39:42] Lindsey: We've got to keep the audience listening. 

[00:39:47] Mike: So, what, what do you got for us trace? 

[00:39:50] Tracey: Well, I might come up with one by episode 20. I definitely don't have anything. It's so exciting to follow that one up with Mike 

[00:39:59] Mike: no, I figured as much knowing you like I do, I didn't think that you could wind up being, so 

[00:40:05] Tracey: Like I said, even in my most drunken state, I would try to keep myself controlled, but not to say that I didn't do a lot of stupid, embarrassing things. Absolutely. I did. I definitely had many a moment I woke up and said, oh my God, I can't believe I did that. Or called a friend and said like, how embarrassing was I lost? 

[00:40:28] Tracey: Yeah. What did I do? 

[00:40:30] Mike: Yes, that happens a lot. Well, I have it a lot for me. I would say. Even up until almost why I decided that as an ok doing things, I don't even recall. I’d say to my eye that I do that. You don't remember doing that, but no, don't remember saying, doing that. And then it just got worse. And I thought that this is not, this is not good. This isn't going in the direction that I would like it to go. And it's time. So 

[00:40:54] Kelly: we have time for one more Scattergory

[00:40:56] Mike: yeah. Scattergories so we're going to call this one wildcard and one of you three gets to pick the category for scattergories. So how about we just go I'm going to pick a number between one- and 10-year-old going to pick a number and then I'm going to pick who's closest, Tracy.

[00:41:14] Tracey: Sorry. 

[00:41:16] Mike: Tracy said, that's the number

[00:41:18] Tracey: so, I got to pick a trigger word. 

[00:41:21] Mike: Well, pick a category or pick something. Yeah. You 

[00:41:25] Kelly: check your weird or anything. 

[00:41:27] Tracey: Trigger word or a category. Hmm. 

[00:41:31] Tracey: Okay. I think we should go on the topic. Soberversaries Lindsay. It brought this up before we started recording and I think it ties in good with the full conversation about the word sober.

[00:41:44] Mike: Good. 

[00:41:45] Lindsey: That's hilarious because I have no problem identifying with soberversaries but the word sober E 

[00:41:53] Tracey: I think, I think it's all about the celebrating Linds yeah. 

[00:41:57] Lindsey: Yes. I'm down with that. And mine, I do yearly, I count years because I don't know. I just feel like those are significant milestones. I always keep track. Like this December is going to be three years. Yeah 

[00:42:14] Mike: by year 

[00:42:14] Lindsey: month. So yeah, like December 20, 22 is going to be three years. 

[00:42:20] Mike: The date in December is the milestone. Not in February. Go by month by year. Not by month.

[00:42:28] Lindsey: Yes. I might do something nice for myself, like a spa day or some sort of, treat I've even seen people celebrate it like a birthday with a candle and a cupcake or something.

[00:42:40] Lindsey: I think that was

[00:42:41] Kelly: no.

[00:42:45] Tracey: Kelly, how have you you've had the most, so how have you celebrated your four? 

[00:42:49] Kelly: So, tracking days is something that has worked for me. I started out by just printing off blank calendars and have them taped to my bedroom wall and would just put an X with a marker through each day. I'm a really visual person. So, I found that really encouraging for myself to just see that every day when I woke up, I also have an app on my phone that counts days and he probably gonna want to know what it is and it's called sober time, but there's lots of apps. So. Awesome. I don't look at that very often now, but in the beginning I probably, yeah, I'm pretty sure I looked at it every day. So, I've been sobered for 1,534 days. I just look amazing, and I do celebrate the annual milestones. Now in the beginning, I celebrated a hundred days by that being my very first day to share my journey publicly on social media. But yeah, I liked to celebrate things I like to celebrate life, and this is it's, like I said, I'm super proud of it and I hope to inspire other people.

[00:43:53] Kelly: So, I, I love celebrating and sharing it to 

[00:43:56] Mike: Bravo. 

[00:43:56] Mike: Cool. 

[00:43:57] Tracey: Yeah, I would say at the beginning, I was definitely counting the weeks. You know, the first couple of weeks, first, couple months till the first year. And then from there, it's kind of like you Linds I would see it as a yearly thing. I'll be coming up on two years in November on November four. So yeah. So last year I didn't do anything specifically to celebrate. I actually did share my story to like Kelly on my year anniversary. So yeah, but I think this year, it being two years, I will do something for myself. I deserve it.

[00:44:33] Lindsey: Absolutely. Do you guys share on social media, your milestones?

[00:44:36] Kelly: Yeah. 

[00:44:37] Tracey: Yeah, I did. I mean, I did a year, and I would do two years for sure. Again.

[00:44:42] Mike: Yeah, I don't share anything on social media because I'm not on social media. That's easy for me. I don't honestly, when I stopped, I just, I think probably like a little bit like Tracy, I was like two weeks. I was always, you know, three weeks a month, et cetera. But once I got to about two months, I just honestly tried to just really stay busy and, the closer I got to that first year, I thought, holy shit, I cannot frigging believe that I made it a whole year without, doing it because I don't think my, not that I cared what my buddies thought, but I just don't think that anybody thought that I could do it just knowing me and my, the way I was. And I just had to believe that I could do it. And I got to a point where now I would say at that time, my vice was weed so weed helped me get into a frame of mind of disconnection if I needed to disconnect from reality, that definitely helped. And then I did it quite often, every single day. So, it helps, but when I decided to give a weed, which was pretty much the year almost, it was about 11 months in yeah, that I've noticed a big difference in just everything altogether and it came and went. I'm not big. Well, I'm not a big birthday guy, number one. So, I don't keep tabs and celebrate those things. And maybe that's something that I need to do. I don't know. Maybe that's, that's a change I need to make. So no, I don't, yeah, I gotta get better at 

[00:46:09] Tracey: celebrating yourself accomplishment.

[00:46:12] Mike: Yeah. Like how to give myself a pat on the back. I've always been really shitty at that. I've been pretty hard on myself; I think I probably expected more of myself in a lot of ways in different aspects of my life. And I just learned that the rough and hard way get better. And you know, when you think of yourself as not where you want to be or well enough for much of a piece of shit, but you know, in that kind of Relation if you will. Yeah. Yeah, but really hard, really, really hard on myself, in every aspect, in sports and business in life. I just needed to forgive myself for a lot of things. And I think hearing what Kelly said, maybe the celebratory moments would be that much better. I'm proud of being able to have gone as long as I did. I still think to this day wow. I'm in the same area as Lindsay, December of 2019. Yeah. 

[00:47:05] Tracey: Well, you should celebrate this year. 

[00:47:07] Lindsey: I was 

[00:47:07] Kelly: Nicole last night, Nicole. Our last episode, Nicole was December 2019 also. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:47:15] Tracey: So, you guys should all celebrate together. Yeah.

[00:47:19] Tracey: Are you in Lynn's at least you could Mike. 

[00:47:21] Mike: Yeah. We'll 

[00:47:22] Tracey: December will be a big month 

[00:47:24] Kelly: for 

[00:47:24] Mike: celebrate Friday. We'll do a sweater exchange, 

[00:47:28] Lindsey: donut, donuts, and sweaters.

[00:47:30] Tracey: me for you. I want to be included 

[00:47:34] Kelly: for everybody. 

[00:47:36] Mike: Oh, well, 

[00:47:37] Kelly: fun. Scattergories 

[00:47:39] Lindsey: that was mike's idea. Scattergories that was awesome. 

[00:47:42] Mike: Well, scattergories is a game that I was playing with my niece, and I just thought, yeah, this is a good time. She's kicked my ass in Scattergories and I'm like, oh my God. So yeah, I won, and she wasn't even in the game. So, God lover. On that note, I think we're going to wrap it up and thank everybody for listening to week 15 episodes. Where has the time gone? Let's celebrate 15 episodes on. And we'll try to do more Scattergories or Scattergories as we continue on our journey of LAF life podcast, and we'll have more guests, we'll have more topics. I know that the ladies and I are really excited to, to see what the next chapter of our life brings. So, thanks very much, everybody. I hope you guys have a great rest of your night and week and we will connect the next time. 

[00:48:48] Lindsey: Bye for now. 

[00:48:50] Closing

[00:48:50] Kelly: Thank you for listening. Please give us a five-star rating like and subscribe, share on social media, and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the laugh life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.