Join your hosts in their own mindless chatter about how the little voice in our head, can either hinder or help us. The impact drinking had on our self worth and how once we all came to the bright side of life that our negative self-talk slowly turned positive. Our daily tip to help remind yourself how amazing you are, even when you don't believe it. You can trick use this trick to change your mind with daily practice.
Be a guest on our show https://forms.gle/GE9YJdq4J5Zb6NVC6
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Recommended Reads:
The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins https://www.melrobbins.com/5secondrule
The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer https://untetheredsoul.com/
**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
**Please remember to: Like, Subscribe and leave us a 5-star rating or review. If you enjoyed this episode SHARE it with a friend.
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/laflife
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/laflifepodcast
Website: https://www.laflifepodcast.com/
Be a guest on our show: https://forms.gle/GE9YJdq4J5Zb6NVC6
Email us: laflifepodcast@gmail.com
Connect with your podcasters. We'd love to hear from you!
Tracey: https://www.instagram.com/tnd1274/
Kelly: https://www.instagram.com/pamperedkel/
Lindsey: https://www.instagram.com/hariklindsey/
**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Resources:
Wellness Togethe...
Join your hosts in their own mindless chatter about how the little voice in our head, can either hinder or help us. The impact drinking had on our self worth and how once we all came to the bright side of life that our negative self-talk slowly turned positive. Our daily tip to help remind yourself how amazing you are, even when you don't believe it. You can trick use this trick to change your mind with daily practice.
Be a guest on our show https://forms.gle/GE9YJdq4J5Zb6NVC6
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Recommended Reads:
The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins https://www.melrobbins.com/5secondrule
The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer https://untetheredsoul.com/
**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
**Please remember to: Like, Subscribe and leave us a 5-star rating or review. If you enjoyed this episode SHARE it with a friend.
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/laflife
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/laflifepodcast
Website: https://www.laflifepodcast.com/
Be a guest on our show: https://forms.gle/GE9YJdq4J5Zb6NVC6
Email us: laflifepodcast@gmail.com
Connect with your podcasters. We'd love to hear from you!
Tracey: https://www.instagram.com/tnd1274/
Kelly: https://www.instagram.com/pamperedkel/
Lindsey: https://www.instagram.com/hariklindsey/
**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Resources:
Wellness Togethe...
Mindless Chatter: Thoughts that hinder or help us! Season 2 Ep. 5
[00:00:00]
Kelly: welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze-soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey, Djordjevic, Mike Sutton and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories.
We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support.
Mike: Welcome everybody to season two-episode Cinco and that's five for everybody else at home Tonight we are going to talk about, as the girls say, it's something I always bring up, mind chatter, self-talk, whatever you want to call it. I call it the [00:01:00] voice. But before we dive into self-talk, I think we need to do a little bit of recapping on some previous stories our lives outside of the guests we meet. I wanted to ask Kelly how she's been doing with her recent. Break from social media and what kind of things she's experienced. Kelly? Hey everybody. Good? Good morning. Hey, where you are? There?
Kelly: Hey, first of all, I thought you said episode psycho, so that's what I thought.
Lindsey: I was like, don't,
Mike: but it could be psycho cuz
Kelly: you know, I thought you said psycho too. Thank
Mike: Watch Roll.
Kelly: Oh boy.
Tracey: social media. Are you so off it?
Kelly: So, no, I'm not. it was a 10-day break. I had deleted Instagram off of my phone and Facebook off of my phone. I [00:02:00] still kept Facebook on my laptop. Yes. Lindsay, Remind,
Lindsey: Remind our listeners why you deleted it.
Kelly: Okay. So yes, I took a break from social media off my phone. I was finding myself scrolling too much with all the changes going on in the world, too many rabbit holes, and also just feeling really negative towards other humans, and relationships. I re-listened to that episode, and I was so granty and angry and I know Tracey even had to edit a lot of that out. Cause we did, all of us got a little bit ranty and it was very long. I realized there was another trigger we were talking about triggers. Mm-hmm. in that episode too, I think. Mm-hmm. that I had seen. Somebody posts happy two-year anniversary.
Ooh, I told Lindsay about this after. Mm-hmm. So yeah, he post made a beautiful post there in a restaurant. Happy two [00:03:00] year anniversary. Mm-hmm. And I had been with this person less than two years ago,
Lindsey: so that means that that person was married, not. Oh, so in the relationship though?
Yeah. Yep. So that felt really crappy, so I don't think I realized how much that affected me.
Kelly: Mm-hmm., so it was really crappy. So anyway, I took 10 days off. I kept Facebook on my laptop because I use it for work, but I don't tend to scroll on my laptop. And I was happy that I took that break and now that I'm, I've got it back on there. I'm definitely not scrolling as much. There was more of a peaceful feeling. I had mentioned that I wanted to have more time to have some creative time for my new business, and it did allow me to have that. So, I've kind of made that into my routine. It's just part of my morning now, instead of sending Lindsay all the memes, although we find for that,
Lindsey: we do. And [00:04:00] while you were gone, I was struggling, So I'm really happy. You're back.
Tracey: Lindsay was going through her home withdrawal symptoms.
Lindsey: I mean, for real. I feel like I've traumatized.
Kelly: I'm just kidding. We're back. We're back on it. And giggling away at the things I know she needs share to each other. The other thing after I listened to that episode that I can't believe we didn't talk about, but we just didn't have enough time. Wow. Was the very brief amount of time that I spent on Tinder. Cause we were talking about dating apps and stuff. A shit shows. That place is that's like a freaking circus.
Lindsey: It's a circus.
Kelly: Have you been on?
Lindsey: Yep.
Tracey: No, I never went on there when I was single for good reason.
Lindsey: I loved the picture that you sent me of the guy dressed as cat in the hat. Like that was his profile picture and the one in just the red boxers with his muffin top hanging over like a crotch shot. Like really [00:05:00] and no face. That's your profile picture. oh my God,
Kelly: I did not last long in that world. No, no I did not. and yeah, sent Lindsay. Lots of screenshots. And there was a pirate.
Lindsey: There was a pirate
too. There was a pirate.
Tracey: No, there was, Was a Halloween already?
Kelly: No. That's just what happens in Tinder World. Yeah. Any listeners have any. Positive experiences or crazy experiences, let us know,
Tracey: Hey, if any listeners wanna help out their friend that has a horrible profile, picture, let them know. Okay.
Kelly: Yeah. Guys need girls, find a friend or a sister or something and get some help
Lindsey: with those pictures I do. Absolutely. Your business idea?
Kelly: I don't, yes, Okay. But that isn't our topic tonight. But the other thing was, I wanted to hear about Mike. You were talking about going to that baseball game with your friends that were, I guess, that they were like heavy drinkers. So how did that go?
Lindsey: Did you go, Mike?
Mike: I went, [00:06:00] Yeah. I, yeah. I'm depressed of the result, but yes, I went what happened?
Lindsey: Talk to us.
Mike: The blue blew a; they blew a big lead. I think it was, I think it was the biggest lead in the history of. I don't, Anyway, it was a big lead. They choked.
Kelly: We're talking about the Blue Jay's years.
Mike: Yes. Yeah. And yeah, they drank. They drank and they were, it was, they were funny. I never felt like, I wish I had a drink with them. It, mm-hmm., These guys just, they poke fun. It's not like peer pressure fun, but they always throw a, why don't you have a drink?
Well, eh, you know, like, I hate that. It doesn't bother me. Cause my personality, I just throw something back that
Lindsey: I could see you be witty back. Like, Oh,
Mike: yeah, yeah. I'm, this is, Yeah, we are pg slash. When you're golfing with the boys, it's no holds Barr. So. And it's the same wherever, and I can hold my own. And I get it from many different [00:07:00] groups of friends. As I was saying before we got on here, I wanted to go away to Arizona, but work's not gonna permit me to go. Yeah. And that's to go play baseball. And that week would've been a really big test. Not that I think that I would've caved, if you will, but mm-hmm. it would've been seven days of, boy, where's old Mike? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like, Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, that would've been interesting. But for the Blue Jay's game, no. I was, at the end of the day they lost, I was angry. But I got over it. I caught a ball and I, No. Yes, and I got That's, I met a new friend, kid who came over and, you know, he was, he was just enamored that I gave him the ball. He was just tickled pink. Huge kids.
Tracey: Oh yeah.
Mike: Oh my God. My rule is when you go to those games and you catch a, a, like a foul ball. Or something that's not gonna net you a million dollars for catching a home run or something like that. Give the damn ball to a kid.
Lindsey: I have seen grown ass men.
[00:08:00] Oh yeah, yeah. Like pummel kids to the ground to get balls.
Mike: What I, there are women too that have, have seen it, I've
Lindsey: it, and I'm like, what are you doing? And good for you, mike. That's the way
Mike: to be. Well, the ball costs 10 bucks, I mean, 12, you can buy them. Anyway, I think that what I did witness though was, holy shit, there was so many drunk people I know.
I'm thinking to myself, Oh my God. That's what I was like, I must have been like worse at those games. Yelling and mm-hmm., my rule when I used to go to sporting events was, yeah, I would heckle players and stuff. I'd never swear, no swearing, can't swear, but I'd be loud and I obnoxious and. Yeah. And I just felt, when I saw that, I was like, didn’t you just shut up and let me watch the game?
Lindsey: Ooh. Yeah. It's like a reminder of who you used to be. Hey,
Kelly: I think we're like to get those. Yeah.
Mike: I kinda into tonight's topic of self-talk and were Yeah. I find, and you guys, I'm sure will have your own experiences, but I [00:09:00] find that it's there almost every, at every opportunity it challenging you with how are you going to respond to X, y, z from the guy that cuts you off while you're driving to mm-hmm.
The guy that posts pictures of red boxers as a Tinder profile you know, somebody at work who, Yeah, you just want to say you. Go flip a hat, yeah. was at home that can't see. Lindsay gave the old two fist together.
Kelly: Yeah.
Lindsey: Was that like the Ross and Rachel, like the, the fuck off? They did.
Mike: Oh, is that what it is?
Kelly: Yeah.
Mike: I know who Ross and Rachel are. I did do that back then, but that's hilarious.
Lindsey: I have a question for you, Mike. Yeah. Fire,
Okay, so I know before we reco started recording, we were gonna touch on a little bit of like the self-worth topic too. But something came up when you were talking What if you caved? What if you were with those guys and you were there for how many days and you caved and you had a drink?
Mike: You mean if I went to Arizona.
Lindsey: [00:10:00] Mm-hmm.
Mike: Yeah.
Lindsey: How would you feel? Would you feel? Cuz when I think about that
Mike: Yep.
And I'm like, ooh, with that impact my self worth caving and I'd be like, see, I suck at sobriety, or I can't believe I'm that pathetic that I caved, and I had a drink. Talk to me, I'm interested to hear from you personally.
Yeah. I think you and I have a similar perspective over Yeah. the course of however many episodes we've had. Mm-hmm., I think we both have said, I don't know if it's forever yet. A lot of times when I go and do things and, and I'm part of things where alcohol's involved, I think.
Yeah, I think you made a good choice tonight and not that it was there or there was temptation, but it's just reconfirmation. But how would I feel? I don't know. I think honestly, I'd probably feel some sort of guilt. I don't know what it would be associated with.
I think that I've always been really hard on myself mentally and I feel like I always need to be, get, be better at something. And that's just, that's [00:11:00] self confidence and things that you're, I'm constantly working on, and I think, right. I think honestly, I have a better handle on now, almost three years into this journey than ever had in my entire life.
I'd get over it quick, I think and know that I don't know, It's a really good question. I don't know, maybe one day. That'll happen. I don't know. Nothing's really prompted me to say fuck it. Like,
Lindsey: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike: You know?
Lindsey: Well, I like that cuz you've got that self-talk going on. You're like, Holy shit. Look at these people. I made a good choice tonight. Not drinking.
Mike: Oh, it happens all the time. I mean, come on, there's my, there's all vacation going on
Lindsey: All the time. All the time. Yeah.
Mike: I don't know that we're all anywhere close to quite Zen Buddha estate.
? No. Maybe Cal with her, with her new venture in yoga.
Kelly: Oh yeah. But not, somebody mentioned driving. If I ever want a reminder of how unenlightened I am, Oh my God. Come drive with
Lindsey: I love you. I do [00:12:00] so much for like, so.
Mike: Have you ever thought about, well, first of all, does any of you have like a dash cam?
Kelly: No. No, but I always imagine it, usually when I'm singing and like car dancing, I always imagine like it's secretly recording me. But wow,
Tracey: I don't, no,
Kelly: the way I talk to people would not be,
Lindsey: Do you have one, mike?
Mike: I don't, but I bought one about two years ago and I started trying to figure out, Cause here's what I was gonna do. I was gonna start a YouTube channel and I was gonna just record my commentary of, Look at this fucking idiot. Do you even know
Lindsey: I would watch this?
Mike: Oh, I know people,
Lindsey: I would,
Mike: I've had people go see, I tried doing YouTube channel and I did one episode, and it was. Ka Gigi Ka Gigi ads and the responses that you get. And I did a five-minute commentary on the responses to the ad. I posted for a free item; I sent it out to like 30 people. I'm like, here’s my, and I was like, you know, Wow. I'm not there yet. So, but [00:13:00] recording, driving,
Kelly: Oh man. Oh, I could replay some of it. Okay, so in Winnipeg we don't have big highways. We just have one little highway that surrounds the city. It's really weird. So, people don't know how to merge. We have merged lanes, but they don't know how to merge. Like in Ontario where I grew up with Tracy and Mike, there, you have no choice. Like you gotta know, you drive in that merge lane. So, I know for sure. One of the things I say the most in my car is Merge motherfucker.
Lindsey: I love it.
Mike: What do you mean? It just doesn't have that link.
Kelly: They just,
they don't use it.
Lindsey: They stop at the opening and then they wait like it's a fucking yield. It's like there's a whole goddamn lane in front of you. Drive in it, get up to the speed limit and get over. What are you doing?
Mike: Oh boy. That's works out there. That's a, that's a category's category right there for an episode. We'll get back to that for sure. No, I'm getting angry just thinking about it.
Lindsey: [00:14:00] He's triggered. Triggered.
Tracey: There's a trigger right there.
Mike: Yeah. Oh yeah. I've gotten much better at driving and not losing my screws, but mm-hmm., its people suck at driving. Just they, anyway.
Tracey: It's a work in progress like everything else. Right.
Mike: Yeah. I don't know that I'll ever, I'll, I'll ever get there. I'm getting better. But yeah.
Tracey: Well, there you go.
Lindsey: There you go. Yeah.
Tracey: As long as you're better today than you were yesterday, that all matter.
Mike: Okay, here's a little bit on the topic of, sobriety slash in driving. Well, I used to, and I think a couple other guests we've had on the show have talked about driving and being high.
Tracey: or drunk,
Mike: Never drunk. So, what I was saying is I'd smoke a joint and, and go do what I had to do, but I found I would just go the speed limit. Yeah. But cut me off. I don't give a shit. And like I would be chill. And then I had this conception in my head with maybe I need to be high when I drive all the time, so I won't be angry. And I'm like, nope. That's probably not smart, you know?
Lindsey: But then you're [00:15:00] the slow. You thought everyone's behind swearing at now.
Mike: I would be, nor you never would know. I know. Yeah, I know. But yeah, it just, I guess in today's world it's like, it's so fast and we're being conditioned for this instant response isn't even with our self talk, it's like, do we need to have the instant response or can we just learn to sit with our Yeah. Well consideration, consider it what's going on and Okay. And then it's gonna do what it wants to do and it's gonna leave. And I think, at least for me when I was drinking, it created anxiety when mm-hmm. I couldn't like just, just leave. Just fucking leave. I want, I don't wanna think about whatever it is anymore. Mm-hmm. So, what about you guys?
Tracey: I got a good segue into this too.
Mike: Sure. Fire,
Tracey: I think I talked about this on that episode as well, the social media episode, and I never did put it in the show notes. So, I will this time and I'll show it to you guys and share it, but I was talking about this little self care book I got I think it was my last [00:16:00] birthday or something. So, I've now read through it because as I was mentioning in that episode, I've been trying not to be on social media or on my phone as much. So, I've been doing more reading, which is awesome because that's something that I've been working on honestly for probably two years now. Definitely since I've been not drinking and. I've picked up so many books and not finished them. I've been reading Untamed for like five months trying to get through that book. Now I've kind of converted to audio because I'm a lot better at that and I've whipped through books on audio and
Mike: guys, question about that. Audiobooks.
Tracey: Yeah.
Mike: What's the difference between listening versus, and I'm a slower reader than I am a listener. Obviously, I can comprehend the hearing part, but do you lose anything from it? Like, as opposed to, I mean, seeing it with your eyes and, and taking it in as opposed to just hearing it with your ears. Cause I think you're using two senses.
Tracey: Yeah. I mean, sometimes I [00:17:00] think that I take more in because I don't find, I get as distracted. Maybe sometimes you get when you're reading.
Mike: Right.
Tracey: There is that whole love of just sitting on the couch with a book in your hand that you don't get on audio. I'm doing it mostly when I'm driving somewhere. To me, it's way better taking that information in then say, listening to the radio or mindless chitter chatter on the radio. It's kind of like, social media on your phone. At least you're taking in something educational and that you're benefiting from mentally. And you're stimulating your mind. And nourishing your mind. Right.
Mike: That's good.
Tracey: It's like podcasts. I listen to a lot of podcasts when I'm driving to, I have a longer commute now because I got a new job. And so, I have more time in the car. So, to me that's productive time.
Mike: Did you always listen to the radio when you didn't listen to the podcasts?
Tracey: Yeah. Yeah. I can't stand it the cars silent.
Mike: Oh man. See, I,
Kelly: Mike is the silent driver, right? Oh, I [00:18:00] don't,
Mike: I haven't listened. Mm-hmm. nothing my radio, getting the car, it's off.
Lindsey: Wow.
Mike: I've driven to Quebec City with absolutely nothing that's like a, almost an eight-hour drive and it's just looking at stuff and then letting the self talk and hate me. It's insane.
Lindsey: No, no. There is something to driving. Yeah. With nothing like, no music on, cuz you are just, it's, you're not, I guess, as distracted.
Tracey: No. And if you can be with your own thoughts, then that's good too, it's just not something I enjoy doing while I'm driving. That's something I'd rather do, when I'm at home or when I can focus and I'm not distracted by things on the road too, right? So, to me, if I have to drive somewhere, I'd rather be kind of entertained by music or whatnot.
Lindsey: For sure.
Tracey: Anyways, this book, this self-care book, there's a whole bunch of quotes and it, it's just really cute, but a lot of, quick, short, good information. I wanted to read a couple quotes because they could be directly related to some of [00:19:00] the stuff we're gonna talk about tonight we're gonna talk about self-talk, self-worth, and we talked about even self-forgiveness.
This first quote says Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.
Lindsey: Ooh. Hmm. I love that.
Tracey: there's another one here that says, Belonging is not fitting in. Belonging starts with self-acceptance. And then there's one more here that I wanted to read that says, Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.
Lindsey: Oh, that one just made me go Who?
Whoa.
Tracey: Oh, I thought that last one was pretty ideal for this topic.
Lindsey: I mean, ain't that the truth?
Kelly: That's very true. The awareness of myself talk is really what led me to quit drinking. And I do believe I've told this on here before, but I'll just tell it again. My first day of being alcohol free was February 5th, [00:20:00] 2018, so at the beginning of 2018, and for the majority of 2017. So, for 10 months I had a business coach, and one of the activities that he did with me was bring an awareness to myself, talk. And what do you say to yourself the most? And it was, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Lindsey: I just wanna say this. I think before I lose it, a lot of people get into recovery because they become a person that they no longer recognize. Hmm. Right. So, you saying what the f am I doing? Or whatever.
Mike: Fuck. It's okay. you said, what the f I was trying to be funny.
Lindsey: Oh, I didn't even hear what you said. You're like, say the word. Oh, you,
Mike: Yeah. I said you can say fuck. It's
Kelly: okay. Yeah,
Tracey: Kelly just said it, so it's okay.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think, yeah, I think that's kind of what starts it for a lot of people.
Kelly: Well, yeah. Read that last one again. Trace,
Tracey: Oh, now I lost it, but I'm sure for you guys this too. This little book.
Lindsey: Oh, that's so cute.
Tracey: Cuz I can take a clip at this part and
Kelly: wait, it's said it's [00:21:00] cute. Its,
Mike: Why is the book cute? I don't understand. Sorry. It's not like a cat or anything like that. It's a book.
Kelly: So cute.
Tracey: I'm gonna find it again. Kel So
Mike: what's so cute?
Kelly: Well, it, it's basically, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay.
Tracey: I got it. Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time. Yeah.
Kelly: Oh, how mean is that? Can you imagine?
Lindsey: So, mean?
Kelly: Can you imagine if I woke up and my husband at the time said that to me every morning? What the fuck is wrong with you? That's what we do to ourselves.
Lindsey: I know
Kelly: we verbally abuse ourselves. Mm-hmm. And it's so sad.
Tracey: Do you think you were saying that Cal? Cuz, I know. I would say that to myself when I would say, oh, I'm not gonna drink today. And then I would drink.
Kelly: That's what I'm talking about. Cause I was usually hungover when I said that you know?
Tracey: Yeah, yeah.
Lindsey: Well, cuz we continually violate our own values, when we're drinking. We do say things like, Oh fuck. Oh, you wake up and you're like, oh [00:22:00] my God, I'm never gonna do this again. You
Kelly: The shame.
Lindsey: Yeah, the shame. You lied. Yeah. Maybe you stole money. Maybe you look and you come in your kitchen and there's like three empty wine bottles and you're like, Fuck, I only remember drinking the first bottle. So now what? You're constantly violating your own values.
Tracey: Well, and you're constantly disappointing yourself.
Kelly: Yeah,
Lindsey: absolutely.
Kelly: Is what I was in the cycle of making all the rules and making all these promises to myself and breaking them every single time.
Mike: I got a comment. Don't you guys think that maybe in some ways that all. Can we call them failures or failed moments? Mm-hmm. Are leading up to they're pushing you, they're guiding you in that direction of when are you going when are you gonna shit or get off the pot, when are you gonna stop? Right? Mm-hmm. , I know that for me, and mine was always when I would go to the, the same bar that I used to go to all the time and go to the men's room and it, I'd be standing there by myself and it, I could be plastered out of my mind, but that same conversation, like, When are you gonna stop?
Mm-hmm. Is this the last time you're gonna cut? Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Hey, fuck [00:23:00] off. Let me just get through today and I'll deal with you tomorrow. I firmly believe that it got to a point of, Okay, I'm tired of this. Really, really tired of this. And we do this with other things in our life, you know, like how we eat or exercise or, you know, gambling or sex, whatever. Right.
Kelly: Look at the way people talk about food, pay attention to the way people talk about food and they use it as a reward and a punishment for sure.
Mike: Dopamine hit, right?
Kelly: Yeah. And it's so sad. Oh, I shouldn't have this because I had this, or I should do this because I ate this. And like it's sick.
Mike: I think food is more specifically sugar in carbs, but sugar is more addicting in some capacities than drugs or alcohol. And because we consume it on a day-to-day basis, and do we really know what's being added to the food these days? There are not whole foods like it was 30, 40 years ago.
Tracey: Right.
Mike: Is that connected to maybe to alcohol in some capacity? Right.
Kelly: It's addiction. I definitely think that's [00:24:00] addiction. And when I see somebody who's really obese and overweight, I think they're exactly like me, but I used alcohol and they're using food.
Tracey: Well, I'm not convinced that wine isn't so addictive because it's got sugar in it. People that drink wine, most people don't just drink a glass of wine. There are a very few people I know that just have one glass of wine,
Mike: so well, maybe an 85-year-old grandmother who used to have a quite a drinking career, you know?
Tracey: Well, and those people are usually people that drink red, I think that's part of why people get really attached to wine. And maybe even part of why they can't just kind of have one. It's like, try to have one chocolate. When are you ever successful at?
Kelly: I dunno., I feel like you can think about chips though. And that's not sugar really. That's,
Mike: No, it's salt. Right? And that's it. Are you a salt or a sugar person? But it's like, hey, if someone got a box of turtles for Christmas, you ain't, I'm not [00:25:00] having one. I'm having one, three. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's just who I am. Right. It's interesting though, I think that self-talk is, is we do the things we do to distract us from the self-talk because we don't want to deal with what the self-talk talk topic potentially is. Boredom. We get bored and we can relate this back to social media and scrolling and, we just get so bored that we can never sit there and just sit. with our thoughts and allow the thoughts to do what they want to do. I'm guilty of it. I'm a hundred percent right. Mm-hmm., go ahead. Go.
Kelly: Okay. Cuz we're bored or because we don't wanna hear those thoughts.
Mike: Well, I think probably both. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think for sure both. I know for me that when I catch myself scrolling, I'm bored or I don't want to go back and do work or yes. Do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm., it's, and I catch myself going, oh dude, you just wasted half an hour when you could have, Yeah, got that task done, that [00:26:00] would've taken you 25 minutes. I cut the grass. I can't, you know, it's so, oh, I'll do it later. And then you get, I get a little bit down to myself you just wasted half an hour that you could have gone and cut the grass that needs to be cut watching stupid shit.
Tracey: Well, there comes in your self talk, right?
Kelly: But don't you guys think that we put way too much value on productivity?
Lindsey: Yes.
Mike: Wow. Like we we're rattling off the topics here. We could just have show up on show of, but
Kelly: that's your self talk. Your self talk is beating you up because you're not being productive.
Tracey: Mm-hmm.
Mike: agreed.
Kelly: Why do we need to be so productive? I struggle with that too. I definitely,
Lindsey: And that contributes to your low self worth, right? That negative self-talk.
Tracey: Well, I think it goes back to how we're pushed in society today that you need to have 50 million things going on.
Lindsey: Yeah. Yeah.
Tracey: The world is just going so fast and everybody's trying to keep up with it
Mike: well, what do you guys think about the work, [00:27:00] the career minded individual and 40 hours a week and eight hours a day? I mean, shit. I would put in 50, 60 sometimes, but I think that needs to be dialed back. and allow people to do the things they gotta do with their families or themselves.
Kelly: Yes.
Mike: So, they don't take these dark roads. They're taking these dark roads for, they just for a number of reasons. And I think one of them is overworked.
Tracey: Well, we don't have any balance.
Kelly: No,
Tracey: I don't have balance.
Kelly: I call it hustling for worthiness.
Mike: Yeah.
Kelly: And I was stuck in that for a long time. I put all my self worth on achievement and hustling I'm gonna work my ass off to do this, this and this. I don't completely regret it cuz I've got it pretty nice life because of that. But at the same time that life almost killed me, I was stuck in addiction because of that hustle culture. I didn't know how to Well, so
Tracey: if you're go, go, go all the time, when are you taking the time to actually enjoy the fruits of your [00:28:00] labor, per se, right? When are you really stopping to enjoy all this hard work that you're putting in?
Kelly: Well, my motto back then was work hard, play harder, and I lived that.
Tracey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mike: Do you think that was ingrained in you in any way along your life or did like this happen?
Kelly: No, just, just part of your makeup. It's part of our industry.
Lindsey: I think even coming back to our social media episode, I think people are living beyond their means and they have to, they have to hustle hard. They have to fucking work a full-time job and to have four side gigs because, they’re watching social media posts about families going on vacations and buying million-dollar homes, and you're just trying to keep up with everybody else. So, once you start getting into a lifestyle like that, you have no choice. You have to work your ass off because you're living beyond your means and then you're burnt out, then [00:29:00] you're mad at the world, then you're resentful, and now you're drinking alcohol because you need to numb out and that's how you're escaping because
Tracey: you can't actually take a fucking vacation,
Lindsey: alcohol because you can't even afford it. But now we're doing things we're drinking. So yeah,
Tracey: well, stop drinking. Put all that money towards your vacation and you might be able to go.
Mike: Oh look, ever since I quit drinking, my visa bill doesn't have. Every bloody establishment in the city on there, Oh, no joke. No joke.
Lindsey: So, if you ever went missing, just check your visa and be like, oh, he went to these five places last night. Old.
Mike: I just cuz in my mind it was Oh, just pay with Visa. Cuz, you get those points, you just keep Right. It's like that's an addiction in itself, but mm-hmm., No. And now that has afforded me the opportunity to put that money in other areas of my life that I really deep down wanted to do, but it's like, I don't have the money.
It's like, yeah, you know, you have the money, but you just won't [00:30:00] sacrifice going out to the bar 3, 4, 6 times a week. Mm-hmm. and hanging out with your friends who, you know, are they really your friends, if they just, or are they drinking buddies? Right. So, mm-hmm., it's, I think in times like these, and I mean this with regards to when you. Decide to make the decision to, to take a break, quit, whatever you wanna call it. You find out who your friends are. Really?
Lindsey: Yes. You do quickly.
Mike: Yeah. We've talked about this before. Your herd can get thinned out real fast. Oh yeah. She, he, she doesn't drink, don’t bother. She what's, why call her or him? They're not gonna be fun. It's
Tracey: Well, it's funny cuz I had a conversation with my partner after our episode, I think it was the episode we've been talking about the one where it was the four of us, and he had noticed that I think Mike and Kelly specifically had talked about how they've had negative reactions from people because they're not drinking. Kelly, I think you're talking about, people had unfollowed you and I think you, you were talking about a situation that some [00:31:00] girl said something to you at a party or something
Kelly: Oh, right.
Tracey: And blew you off basically. And I said to him, like, I know it's probably happened to me too. There are certain people. I used to hang out with that I don't really get invited to things that they do anymore. And I was mentioning that to him and he's like, well, I think it's because, people probably get the impression you guys don't really like being around drunk people because you guys talk about that. And I was like, Well, two things. I'm like, one, what people don't get is that our experience or any individual's experience or journey has nothing to do with them.
Mike: Right.
Tracey: He's like, they probably think that you're gonna judge them. He said, you've talked about, for instance, how you stopped drinking because you were concerned about what kind of role model you were being as a mother. He goes, maybe you're making people feel bad about their own ability to, motherhood or whatever. And I was like, well, they have to take responsibility for that.
Kelly: Mm-hmm.,
Tracey: people [00:32:00] need to understand that this is about me. It's not about them. And if they're not going to be my friend for that reason or be in my life, then I'm okay with that. I was okay with that coming into this journey, or else I never would've ventured into it. those aren't my, anymore.
Kelly: Right.
Tracey: You know
Kelly: You’re speaking your truth. So, when you speak your truth, you're gonna piss some people off. But on the other side of that, the better side of that is that you are going to inspire people to live their truth.
Tracey: Absolutely. For sure.
Kelly: I love that. Yeah.
Lindsey: I think it's okay to outgrow people too. I think people are with you Absolutely. In certain seasons of your life and then you decide to level up or do something different. And those friends. Aren't going to come with you and that's okay.
Mike: Yeah.
Lindsey: And I think you attract better when you're doing better. Not that those people aren't good, but it's like you just change, we're [00:33:00] supposed to change. We are supposed, we're not supposed to be the same person we were when we were 20 at 40 years old. Right. So, I think
Kelly: in relationships too, like my marriage my ended when I changed. So yeah. That's, you know.
Tracey: Well, I think it opens up the opportunity for you to bring people into your life that you're more aligned with as well.
Lindsey: Yeah. Yeah.
Mike: But you have to get there, right? You have to. Ride the high road and low roads. Mm-hmm. and
Kelly: Yeah.
Mike: You know, take the stone ships in the windshield.
Lindsey: And I think it's about how you vibrate too, because like your energy, like if we're bringing it back to self worth, right? If you're low vibration and you have a really crappy self worth, think about who you're attracting into your life.
Mike: Oh my God.
Lindsey: You're attracting other people who have low self-esteem, low self confidence, low self-worth. Right.
Mike: Have you in the past attracted those people when you were.
Tracey: Drinking.
Mike: Yeah. Drunk.
Lindsey: Yeah, but I was dating a hundred percent.
Mike: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
Kelly: The girls you meet in the bathroom when you're drunk. [00:34:00]
Lindsey: Yeah. It's amazing.
Kelly: Best friend.
Mike: I've never had that happen.
Kelly: Well, no, now
Tracey: you're not meeting any girls in the bathroom when you're
Mike: No. Meet with bathrooms today. I, I don't know.
Tracey: Yeah, True, true.
Lindsey: So, I don't know. I think Yeah, like structure Linds yeah. When you're recovering, like you're, I don't know, it's like the beginning of this, it's an ongoing journey to reclaim your self worth. So, if once you're self worth, once you start healing that, and it's like, wow, you're growing, and you become more confident and you're realizing things about yourself. You're getting around people who are doing the same thing, you should be outgrowing
Mike: you're magnet for those.
Lindsey: Exactly.
Mike: What did you say?
Lindsey: Totally agree
Kelly: you're magnet for those. Yeah.
Lindsey: If you are looking around the people in your life and you're thinking like, Oh my God. Why? Even in business, why do I have all these people on my team? Well think about who you are cuz you're gonna attract who you are. Or your friends, everyone's [00:35:00] sitting around smoking weed and you're like, What? What the hell is going on here? I don't do this. Well, maybe at a certain time in your life, you know, those were your people, but they're not your people anymore. Or something like that.
Tracey: Well, there's something to be said about the fact that you are who you surround yourself with, right?
Lindsey: You are. You're the average of the five people you speak to or hang out with the most. I've heard that too. So, yeah. And I think if you wanna go higher and you wanna do better and better yourself if you wanna be. Don't hang out at McDonald’s, you know what I mean? You, you wanna, you wanna get with people who are mindful, No. You wanna, you wanna be with people who are mindful of what they're putting in their bodies. Sign up at a gym. If you feel like you don't belong there, but you wanna be that person, you're in the right spot.
Tracey: Right.
Lindsey: You know what I mean.
Tracey: Yeah, yeah. Good point.
Mike: So, amen. Amen.
Kelly: Very good. Yes.
Tracey: In saying that, I was thinking, I feel like, and I'm sure you guys will agree, my self talk [00:36:00] was so much worse and so negative when I was drinking.
Lindsey: I agree with you a hundred percent.
Kelly: Yeah.
Tracey: And I feel like that's something though that your kind of really have to pull yourself out of, even when you stop drinking. Mm-hmm., it's like a bad habit and that habit carries on. Just because the alcohol went away doesn't mean that the bad self-talk goes away. You have to start That's true. Like chipping away at it and working at it.
Lindsey: Yeah.
Mike: Well, think about how many years you've put into the consumption side of the equation. Ooh. It ain't gonna just happen overnight. and I think that people who get into that habit of sober October and they're gonna do 30 days, and it's like, that's great. Don't get me wrong, but it's like, are you doing that because you wanna prove something to yourself that you can do? , which is good and positive, or are you doing it because it's part of guilt it's that social media trendy thing to do. , if you're doing it because you think you wanna explore the possibilities of doing it, full time or for a long time mm-hmm. [00:37:00] There's, that's self-talk shits. I mean, it's gonna happen. It's just gonna, you're gonna have to understand that what the self-talk conversation is today isn't necessarily gonna be the same tomorrow, or, a week from now. It's like the news, the headline news changes every damn day. We get into our head and think, oh my God, this is gonna be crippling forever. I did it on multiple occasions for different moments of my life where I felt like this is the way my life's gonna be. I'm gonna feel like this forever. Mm-hmm., oh my god, what do I do now? You know what I mean? I'm gonna go get drunk because I don't wanna feel the pain of what it is I'm going through. And you know, you have to go through it. You know, there's gonna be some shit days. There really is.
Lindsey: I keep thinking about Jamie, what he said, I wasn't addicted to the alcohol. I was addicted to not being me. Right. I was just like, oh my God.
Mike: Good line.
Lindsey: Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Mike: Tell me about a time recently where your self-talk maybe had you consider. [00:38:00] Taking a drink, Lindsay, or not taking a drink, but like, Yeah, I'm posing the kind of the similar question that you asked me earlier.
Lindsey: Yeah. Oh, let me think.
Kelly: What's the question?
Mike: So, she said do you think if you went away for a week with the guys and right, would you have caved? How would you feel? And I, I'm kind of posing the question of do you have anything moments in the last, whatever period of time where you felt that, well, if I have that drink, feel good about myself the next day, how would you respond, I guess is the question.
Lindsey: I would be full of shame, a hundred percent. It actually to think about taking a drink or having a glass of wine or something like, Scares the shit outta me. Not because I'm afraid, oh, I'm gonna be addicted. I just, I'm like, Oh God. Like, I just don't wanna put that in my body. Right. But it's funny because we just, over this past weekend we did a lot of preparation and made a baby shower for my sister. And it was a [00:39:00] lot of work. I was exhaust, I had so much gone on, and I was up to like 3:00 AM the night before at my other sister's place and we're blowing up balloons and it was just, it was crazy. So, the next day when I got to the shower, my brother-in-law looks at me, he's like, Whoa. You know, And I'm like, yeah. Like, I literally almost burst into tears. I was just so done. And., I think I said something like, Thank God I don't drink anymore. And he just started laughing and right away was like, did you want one? I'm like, no, but it's, it's like when I get stressed or when I'm at my weakest, when I'm mentally exhausted, that's when I'm like nope. Don't do it. It really scares me. And I think if I did, I would just be completely shame filled. I would feel like I'm starting from scratch. Day one. I feel like all my previous three years of sobriety would be erased. And I don't think [00:40:00] that that's even true because I think I've done a lot of work. It's taken a lot of. Work on myself, changing my habits courage, replacing habits, you know, and that's there, you know, having a drink doesn't erase all of that. I've still done all of that, but I would just be, I wouldn't be light on myself about it. I would feel like
Mike: it would ride over.
Lindsey: It be quite its course out. It wouldn't be, I would feel so terrible. And, yeah, I don't think I, if I had a drink, my attitude would be like, ah, fuck it. Let's just have the bottle. Because that's always been my attitude. I wouldn't just have one drink and be like, Oh, well, oops. Okay, let's, let's not, I would probably be like, I'm already a glass, and here we go. So, I'm like, no, it scares the crap outta me. I don't even, yeah, I don't even wanna think about it. And honestly, it's not something. When I used to get really stressed out, that's the first thing I would think. now I'm like, I need to get on my spin bike. I can't wait to get home from the shower [00:41:00] so I could ride my spin bike, and I'm like, Okay, well that's a better habit.
Mike: Well, it's, I think it's a dopa bean hit, right? And that
Kelly: is exactly what it is. Yeah. That's your dope. Where are you getting your dopamine?
Mike: Huh? And you change that, and you know.
Tracey: Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. It's not a default for me either. I was gonna say, that's something that I really think about a lot, to be honest with you.
Lindsey: I don't either. Yeah.
Tracey: No. I think if anybody, quits and would have second thoughts about it. One thing I would encourage, cuz I think it's made a big difference for me, is educate yourself on what alcohol does to your body. Mm. That's a great, that's an app encouragement for me not to wanna put it in my body.
Lindsey: Mm-hmm.,
Kelly: once you know that stuff, you can't unknow it.
Tracey: Exactly.
Lindsey: Good, Kelly.
Tracey: Exactly.
True Kelly. So true. Yeah. But yeah, I don't find, you said, Lindsay, I'm the same as you. I would feel so terrible if I ever did. And I don't really even know why, because, you know, I was of the same mindset of as you and Mike when I began this journey that, maybe one day [00:42:00] again. But it, it does scare me too. It does scare me. How would it make me feel? And I don't think it would make me feel in a good way. No. Which is a huge deterrent too. So, I'm happy that I think of it that way. Yeah., but I just really don't have the desire. And the same thing happened to me when I quit smoking, thankfully. I quit smoking twice. The first time. I wasn't very successful, and I had a really hard time with it the second time. It's kind of like what Jamie said, actually, I could really relate when he said he was just done, when he said he woke up that morning and he, or that day and he was just done and never felt like a drink again. That's what I was like, was smoking. When I quit for good, I was just done and it was like I was never even a smoker, cuz I never even craved it, wanted it, nothing again. After that
Kelly: yeah. Smoking was the shit. Sorry. I'm just gonna say it. I miss it.
Mike: Smoking me
Lindsey: Oh man. Smell. That's,
Tracey: [00:43:00] that's how I felt the first time I quit that's when I went back to it.
Mike: I smell a t-shirt was with an underline. The shit
Lindsey: like smoking is crossed out was
Mike: with P emoji. Oh yeah.
Kelly: I'm jealous of the people that smoke. I don't mind a little whip of second-hand smoke sometimes. Perhaps.
Mike: Oh my god. Really?
Kelly: Oh, always smokes. I don't wanna smell like it. I don't want my ears smell like it, but like if the car beside me is smoking, I'm like, oh, you know, roll down that window. Tell God blow some in here.
Mike: Wow. smoking is the shit.
Lindsey: Oh, that's so good.
Kelly: I haven't had a cigarette in eight, like 18 years. Okay. I wow.
Mike: When I was in grade 12, I remember it like it was yesterday, the classroom, it was we had like health class or something. There was a poster in, I can see it right now in the room. And there was a picture of a [00:44:00] woman smoking a cigarette and it said, You're Dragon lady I dunno why, but I want that. Oh yeah. She was wearing like leather boots, and she looked kinda like a hooker, but Wow. It was, that's, that was the anti-smoking poster in the health class.
Kelly: But you like
Tracey: that's a pretty good anti-smoking though.
Mike: No, I just thought it was funny. I didn't like anything about it.
Kelly: Oh, okay.
Mike: No, no, Kelly, I didn't go home and have dreams about the Antismoking poster.
Nice.
Kelly: Oh wow.
Tracey: That's funny cuz I, I look at women now smoking and think it's really, I don't know, women more so than men. That's great. Very unfeminine. See ya. But I used Breaker Smoker. That used to be me.
Mike: That a deal breaker for me.
Lindsey: Breaker. Yeah.
Mike: Mm-hmm. I don't wanna kiss a dirty ashtray. Fuck
Tracey: that. It is a very dirty habit.
Lindsey: It's disgusting. Oh, it's, it is pretty gr It [00:45:00] is pretty I don't know. Yeah.
Tracey: Oh, my partner smokes, but yeah, I can't do, he doesn't a lot around me, but mm-hmm., when he does smell like it, it's like, no, go away. you're not getting it anywhere close to,
Lindsey: You're gonna need to brush your teeth, take a shower, put on some flow, and then let's, we can talk Don
Tracey: reconvene.
Yeah.
Mike: It's the same as alcohol. When a drunk person, I remember if I was sober and, there was a drunk. Woman and I'll be like, Oh fuck. Get away from me. Yes. I swear. Yeah. But if I was drunk, like, Yeah, let's whatever. Yeah. It's insane what we do when we drink it.
Lindsey: Mm-hmm.
Tracey: Well, it's funny cuz I was trying to use the smoking example to my partner when he was talking about the not drinking right. The not drinking. He said, maybe it's because you guys used to drink and now you don't. And I said, Well, it's like smokers too. If you were a smoker and then you're an ex-smoker, you just realize things about it that you didn't know or think about [00:46:00] when you were doing it. I said, and then, you realize it's a dirty habit. It's all these things and yeah, you're not so keen on it. It's no different than drinking. Right.
Mike: Well, I just staying with weed,
Lindsey: Oh yeah,
Mike: I remember I could go out and smoke a joint and then think, oh yeah, no one's gonna know cause I'm not gonna be noticeable. But like, oh my God, dude, you there was stink, dude. Well, I wouldn't especially when it was cold to come in, the whole room would be looking over at you like, how you eat the cake? What are you talking about? And it’s. I get it. I totally, sometimes I miss weed, but
Lindsey: that's okay to miss it. Yeah. I mean, Hey Kelly, I think it's OK to miss smoking. I think it's okay to even miss alcohol, honestly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But you can miss something that isn't good for you. That doesn't mean I don't know. That doesn't mean you should go and do pick it up again, right? Like,
Tracey: Yeah.
Mike: Anyway, that's a whole other topic altogether.
Lindsey: One thing that I wrote down here before we hit record that I wanted to make sure that I shared is I think sobriety, [00:47:00] how do I say this? You're finding your true self and who you really are. Mm-hmm. when you give up bad habits and ditch alcohol, and back to the negative self talk thing I think Tracy, it was you that touched on that, how even the negative self-talk almost becomes an addiction. And so, when you stop drinking or using the substance that you were using, it's hard to break that self-talk, that negative self-talk cycle because that almost becomes something you're addicted to. And I was thinking how could people break that? How could you alter that self-talk? And one of the things that I came across was make and I am list. And even if you don't believe it, write these things out. Mm-hmm. And then for 21 days, read them out loud every single day, to try to change that negative self talk. I was trying to think what [00:48:00] would I write if I was to write I am? The first thing that pops into my mind is I am resilient. Mm-hmm., or I am, even if you don't believe it. I am beautiful. I am fit and strong. I am healthy. I'm my best self. What would you guys add?
Tracey: That's a good tip, Linds
Lindsey: what would you, yeah. What would you add to the list?
Tracey: Yeah. I would say that I was thinking I'm strong. Mm-hmm., I'm self-aware, especially now that I'm not drinking. Yeah. I think, not drinking and like you were saying, giving up all these bad habits or these addictions, it's almost like. Unveiling yourself because you no longer have all this distraction or clutter covering who you are. But Kelly brings it up very often and I agree with her that a lot of the reasons why we start drinking or doing these other things is because we're not living our true selves.
Lindsey: I love that.
Tracey: And that's definitely how I was feeling. I was feeling like that drove me to [00:49:00] stop drinking actually. Mm-hmm., as Kelly's talked about too, because I knew I just did not feel like myself anymore. And I didn't know the person I was anymore.
Lindsey: Yes, that's, that's, I can relate to.
Kelly: You lose yourself. You lose yourself in that.
Tracey: But I do think naturally you do kind of pull yourself out of the self talk the further you get on the journey, just because you start to feel better and better about yourself and the decisions you're making and the things that you're doing in your life, and the fact that you're replacing what used to be a bad habit, usually with positive things. And I think naturally as you progress on that path, your self talk gets better and better because just inside you can start letting go of all those things that you are holding onto and you're breaking the same cycle. Because when we're in the drinking, [00:50:00] Phase of life. It's like an ongoing shame cycle.
Kelly: Mm.
Tracey: Go ahead Kel.
Kelly: Yeah, so good. I love, I do an I’m every day. Yeah. And I have for five years almost.
Lindsey: Oh, I love that.
Kelly: Yeah. And that you're working with the neuroplasticity in your brain. Yes. So, Lindsay said, I don't know if everybody caught that, but Lindsay said even if you don't believe it mm-hmm. you write it, and then you say it and your brain does eventually believe what you're telling it. And if I can add something to the show notes, the most beautiful little book that you could read to help you understand that you are not your thoughts is the untethered soul.
Lindsey: I.
Kelly: by Michael Singer. It's Michael, a singer. But the Untethered Soul is such a beautiful book and mm-hmm., We aren't our thoughts. It's all this stuff that's been piled on. We were born free, we were born, our natural state is peace, and then we go through life and all these crazy [00:51:00] systems and programming and all kinds of shit gets layered on top of layers. On top of layers. And that's where all this comes from. And I love that book.
Lindsey: I think maybe even an addiction. That's what we're trying to seek. We're trying to return to our natural state of peace. Yeah. And we think that these things are helping us do that, but it's, doing the opposite.
Kelly: Yeah.
Tracey: Mm-hmm., what about you, Mike? What do you think? Cause you've talked,
Mike: I need to know and I, and I will get to what you were gonna ask Trey. Sorry, is that book cute Kelly too? Is that okay?
Kelly: I'll show you a
Mike: picture of it. It's so, no, I don't need to see a picture of it.
Kelly: It's got a little horse on it.
Tracey: okay. That's my next book, Kel.
Kelly: It's so good. Finish on untamed
it's my, I know
Lindsey: your little bugger.
Mike: That's what I'm here for.
Kelly: It's a sweet little book that you just leave on your coffee table and
Lindsey: you just, It's super cute. Yeah, it's super cute.
Mike: There's not many books on my coffee table,
Kelly: and so, I'm a big book person, so I love Eckhart Toley and, all those books. And I [00:52:00] have a few little piles in my living room and sometimes I'll just, whatever I'm called to, I'll grab open
Mike: like a library or anything like that.
Kelly: It's my little library open and it just, it's always exactly what I need to hear always. Mm-hmm. and the reading and all that stuff, The journaling, the reading, my coffee time. Going back to our two episodes ago. There's no phone powered on until all of that stuff until I'm finished. My leader in a bit of coffee,
Lindsey: Oh, I love that.
Tracey: That's a great practice. Kel. That's really good. No, it is. I need to get better at that. If you're work in progress,
Mike: I've considered that like exercise. So like Bravo.
Kelly: Mm-hmm. Yes. It's exercise for Is mine and your soul?
Mike: A hundred percent. Good for you.
Lindsey: That's good for you.
Kelly: What's her name? Ariana Huffington. Is that her name? Do you know who I'm talking about? No. Mm-hmm. Oh boy. Okay. Okay.
Yeah. The Huffington Post. Oh, he's the [00:53:00] co-founder of Huffington Post.
Lindsey: Okay. I know Huffington Post. Okay. Yeah.
Kelly: So, she's a great one to follow. Okay. And I think she had a breakdown or a heart attack or something because she was living so like hustle, hustle, hustle.
Lindsey: Oh my God.
Tracey: But she quoted on her Instagram the other day, something along the lines of, what's the dumbest thing that smart people do? And it's, they sleep with their phones on.
Lindsey: Oh, I love that. Do you know this, I don't know if you know this, Mike, but ever since season one where you were like, get all the electronics outta your bedroom? Yes, because I used to have my iPad, my laptop, and my cell phone all on my bench in my bedroom charging.
Kelly: Oh, I slapped towered on.
Lindsey: Yes, all of them.
Mike: Do you wanna take it a step further?
Lindsey: Oh God. Are you gonna tell me to get my Alexa out of there?
Kelly: that things listening to you, Lindsay.
Lindsey: I know.
Mike: Oh my God. Cause if the Alexa could tell the stories, I would say the
Lindsey: next thing is our next podcast [00:54:00] guest, my Alexa,
Mike: I have not done it, but I've been seeing it lately, is turn off your Wi-Fi. Just go down and power off your Wi-Fi while you sleep. And they talk about, Oh my God, that's brilliant. I mean, talk about lazy. I just gotta walk down six steps to go and turn it off. But I don't. I should. And I think that'll be something I get towards. And
Lindsey: oh my God, I've never even talked to do that.
Mike: Quality of asleep.
Lindsey: I have had my electronics in my bedroom for a year now because of that episode.
Kelly: That's awesome.
Lindsey: That we did. And I'm like, yeah,
Tracey: I'm working towards that because right now, actually I'm reading the Five Second Rule. Has anybody read that?
Kelly: Oh, that's good. Yeah.
Tracey: Yeah. I know we've talked about Mel Robbins before, and I really like her. But yeah, on audio, I'm listening to the Five second Rule. Oh, she talks about,
Kelly: she's been a good voice
Tracey: that No, yes, she's amazing. She's talking like she's just public speaking. It's not even like she's reading the book, when you listen to the other types of audio books, [00:55:00] but mm-hmm. Yeah, she has a whole morning routine and that's part of it. She doesn't have her phone in her room either. So, I actually just bought an alarm clock that goes off like the sun coming up in the morning. Oh. And then it has nature sounds. to wake you. So, my goal is to not have my phone in my room when I go to bed, have it downstairs or whatever charging and use that to wake up.
So, Mike, I was gonna ask you there, sorry. What you feel like you've done to improve your self-talk, cuz I know you've talked about this a lot in the past episodes, how that's a challenge for you, but I'm assuming that you've been working on it, and it's gotten better.
Mike: I think, I think I work on it every day. I try to and I meditate, I want to say like 90% of the week I go in streaks of, weeks every day, and then I'll have a few days off and I notice, I notice Mm. Right away. Like, oh, you're feeling like shit. Well, [00:56:00] let's take a look at what you're not doing that you usually do. And walking for sure. I know, I can tell when I haven't been walking. Mm-hmm. I, I honestly, God, I mean, I don't have cable. I watch YouTube. A lot of the things I've, figured out for work in my career, my careers completely changed over the last three years is because of YouTube and, or TikTok. Mm-hmm., I don't love TikTok like some people, but I look at it more for informative. I've learned a lot of shit from TikTok, that's for sure. I don't encourage, excessive amounts of TikTok use. I have a, somebody that I talk to on a fairly consistent basis about, where my life's going and the things I want to attain and get towards and work towards I guess like a mentor in a sense.
Tracey: That's good. That's really good.
Mike: Yeah. Yeah, I always been the one to explore and try things. Sometimes, yeah, I'm set in my ways, but I definitely will say that I've explored and [00:57:00] tried things because I know. Where my life was before wasn't where I ideally want to be.
Tracey: Mm-hmm.
Mike: or else I'd still be where I was. And sitting there wallowing in misery, holding it inside and it's literally fucking killing you. It was killing me. Mm-hmm. And I hated it. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. And I just knew that I wanted it to be fixed quick, really quick. And I got news for you, I've been through a lot of different, what I perceived to be quick fixes that didn't work.
And man, I want my money back. But no,
Lindsey: that's a good one.
Mike: I wouldn't be where I'm at without trying them and at least I have the experience to say it didn't work for me. But you know what? You gotta try it. The person I speak to always encourages me to write shit down and that, I struggle with it greatly.
Lindsey: Yeah. I do too.
Mike: I've done things where I've written out, a letter or whatever you want, call it to [00:58:00] myself about things. I'm trying to rid myself up and I burn it and I go outside, I burn it in my driveway and my name room must think, holy shit, Holy shit. person coming. What the fuck's he is doing. But no, I mean, I've tried, like I said, I've tried different things and a lot of my buddies would say, you are insane, but I really don't care. I think they realize that I don't care what they think. You guys have tapped into, is this is about me and my journey per se and mm-hmm., I think I've learned about who wants to be around me right now. And like you said, Lindsay, sometimes friends are like seasons, the seasons change and
Lindsey: they do mm-hmm.
Mike: You don't have to be um, connected to that person that you thought would be there forever. Yeah. Because nothing really is forever. Right? That's right. We actually will die. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Not to be morbid, but well live your best. Right. It's true. Mm-hmm.
Kelly: Why not? It's the only truth long in die,
Lindsey: Right. We're all gonna die.
Yeah. So,
Mike: so, I wrote an I am list. I'd say one thing that I am sp spectacular. [00:59:00]
Lindsey: I love it. I love it.
Tracey: Maybe you need and I’m list. Maybe you need to take a page outta Kelly and Lindsay's book Now. Mike Lindsay took a page outta your book about the phone and electronics.
Mike: Good idea.
Lindsey: Honestly, I sleep better. It fascinated me. I was like, What the hell? My God. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah.
Mike: Well, we'll have a private recording, and we'll just talk about the things that I do that Kelly and Lindsay do.
Tracey: I You gotta be such a smartass, Mike.
Mike: That's who I am. Sp spectacular.
Lindsey: Tacular.
Tracey: I think you're, I am. Should be. I am a smart.
Kelly: The best.
Lindsey: I am funny
Mike: there. If I kept or my mom kept the report cards from that would be top of the list class, class clown smart ass needs to learn how to shut up and yeah. I wonder what happened to those report cards.
Tracey: Wow.
Mike: So, on that note, does anybody else want to add anything before we wrap her up?
Kelly: I feel like I missed [01:00:00] a couple rounds of something that I was supposed to say, but I don't know., what's your I am,
Lindsey: Let's see if you feel comfortable sharing a couples. Yeah.
Kelly: Yes. And it should change. I am free. I love it. I am worthy of massive love and abundance. Yes. I love. Yeah. I am strong. I am healthy.
Lindsey: I am badass.
Kelly: I am badass. I am me. Yeah. Wild and free.
Lindsey: So good.
Tracey: That's good. Yeah.
Kelly: Yeah. Self-talk. I still catch myself doing it. It's not as mean as it was. Mm-hmm., I think the thing what
Mike: as frequent too.
Kelly: Not as frequent. Knowing that, I try and be an observer. That's what you learn from this little book is becoming an observer of your thoughts because you are not the thoughts. But the thing I say to myself is focus, I tend to be pretty hard on myself. I recognize that. So, one of the things [01:01:00] that I do a lot of is multitask. It's not great. We're not, we're not designed to multitask. So, I catch myself a lot doing that and walking around, brushing my teeth, and emailing people and yeah, it's pretty chaotic. So yeah, focus on one thing at a time, but focus is the thing I say to myself the most on, in a negative way. I try and look at myself in the mirror every day, look myself in the eyes and think good things and yeah.
Tracey: That's awesome. Very important. Mm-hmm.
All right, Mike.
We're gonna wrap up season two, episode five, and thank everybody for listening and continue to listen. You can find us on our various socials, and you can reach out to everybody individually via social for myself. Contact the show and they'll get a hold of me, and I'll get a hold of you if you're looking for me. I wanna thank you ladies for once again making my evening a joyous occasion and always learning more. Cause hell, I learned some stuff about books. Can be cute. [01:02:00] Yeah.
Kelly: Wow.
Mike: Yeah. And I gotta consider, in all seriousness, I gotta consider the, maybe the I am task. I don't know. We'll see.
Lindsey: Yeah.
Tracey: The IM statements.
Mike: Yeah. It may surprise you, but I am sp spectacular. That's what I know.
Lindsey: That is.
Kelly: That's a fact.
Mike: Thanks a lot everybody signing off. Take care and we will see you next week on the flip side.
Kelly: Yeah,
Tracey: good night. Night.
Lindsey: Bye bye.
Kelly: Thank you for listening. Please give us a five-star rating like and subscribe, share on social media, and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the laugh life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.