It's that time of year that everyone looks forward to....Summer! Are you looking to cut back or go alcohol free but find the thought of summer socializing without alcohol daunting? We have some tips for you in this Summer Scattegories episode. Summer time is the perfect opportunity to find so many things to do without alcohol. It's a time when we get a natural dopamine boost from all the sunshine, fresh air and extended daylight. Conquering alcohol free during the Summer can set you up for success on your alcohol free journey all year round. Summer is a great time to get outdoors and have fun exploring something new that connects you to yourself, nature or others. Dare to be different and don't let fear of the unknown hold you back!
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Kelly: https://www.instagram.com/pamperedkel/
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**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Resources:
Wellness Togethe...
It's that time of year that everyone looks forward to....Summer! Are you looking to cut back or go alcohol free but find the thought of summer socializing without alcohol daunting? We have some tips for you in this Summer Scattegories episode. Summer time is the perfect opportunity to find so many things to do without alcohol. It's a time when we get a natural dopamine boost from all the sunshine, fresh air and extended daylight. Conquering alcohol free during the Summer can set you up for success on your alcohol free journey all year round. Summer is a great time to get outdoors and have fun exploring something new that connects you to yourself, nature or others. Dare to be different and don't let fear of the unknown hold you back!
**Please remember to: Like, Subscribe and leave us a 5-star rating or review. If you enjoyed this episode SHARE it with a friend.
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/laflife
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/laflifepodcast
Website: https://www.laflifepodcast.com/
Be a guest on our show: https://forms.gle/GE9YJdq4J5Zb6NVC6
Email us: laflifepodcast@gmail.com
Connect with your podcasters. We'd love to hear from you!
Tracey: https://www.instagram.com/tnd1274/
Kelly: https://www.instagram.com/pamperedkel/
Lindsey: https://www.instagram.com/hariklindsey/
**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.
Music provided by Premium Beats: https://www.premiumbeat.com
Song: Rise and Thrive
Artist: Young Presidents
Resources:
Wellness Togethe...
Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey Djordjevic, Mike Sutton and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories. We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support. Hey everybody. Welcome to the LAF Life podcast. This is season two, episode 22, and tonight we are going to do a Summers Scattergories episode. So welcome Tracey and Mike.
Tracey:Yay, summertime getting hot out here. Yeah, we know the weather must be nice where Kelly is cuz she's at the cottage.
Kelly:It's nice. It's been like 30 degrees Celsius around here lately. Yeah. Rough life. Yeah.
Tracey:Yeah. Same with here. And it's been super sunny, which is the key part of that equation. I worked from home today and I sat out on my patio and I was like, yeah. This is when working from home is good.
Kelly:Is good. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This episode will come out in June, but it's May 30th today that we're recording. So I'm feeling like summer's just gonna feel nice and long starting off with some great weather and. Yeah, it's gonna be good. So let's chat a little bit about, summer and what alcohol free living is like in the summertime. I know Trace, you saw something really cool on breakfast television, maybe not cool, but interesting on breakfast, television the other day.
Tracey:Yeah, the other day on breakfast television, they did a segment on how do you survive Summer Alcohol free? And I thought this was awesome because I feel like ever since the World Health Organization announced, their new guidelines around drinking that they're really starting to bring awareness. And people are starting to talk about these things more and it's coming to light. So I thought that was pretty awesome. But yeah, the gentleman was just basically talking about, different things you can do in social scenarios. If you're, alcohol free or not drinking different things you can plan with your family or with friends instead of events that revolve around alcohol. So I thought it'd be cool for us to talk about some of those things or throw some ideas for people if we have listeners out there that are thinking about going alcohol free or experimenting with it this summer so we can help them out. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, I've noticed that too. Lots more on mainstream media. And I posted in our LAF Life Facebook group the other day that there was a totally alcohol free social event, that was happening. And this person that's organizing it is going to continue to do them. I wasn't able to make it to that one, but I love seeing this stuff pop up and We've got a sober market in Winnipeg, which is all alcohol free beverages. Yeah. And they opened a second location already, like within months of opening the first location, cuz it's been so popular. So I love it. I love it. Wow, you guys seem so advanced compared to us, didn't you say that there's an alcohol free bar that opened there as well, Kel?
Kelly:Not yet. No. I've seen them pop up in the States, but I haven't seen one in Canada yet.
Tracey:Yeah. No, that's amazing. And when you posted that social gathering, I was like, yeah, we need those. Because a couple of weeks ago I was at a 50th birthday party, and I was actually disappointed because I was flying out to Florida early the next morning. So I only popped in and I couldn't stay. But of course I was leaving right when the music started and everybody was gonna get ready to go on the dance floor. I've been like itching to go dancing. I was saying that to Randy the other day. It's yeah, I wanna go out dancing. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little envious of that little gathering you're having out in Winnipeg there. Yeah. Yeah. But I think those are great ideas. One thing I've been experimenting with a lot too is mocktails. We had our friends from Feragaia on a couple episodes ago with their free spirit. So they were kind enough, the Canadian distributor to send me a bottle. So I was experimenting with some stuff with that. But I also, I was telling Kelly before we hopped on here, Mike, I made one tonight that Didn't have Feragaia in it. It was just a a gut healthy one actually, that a girl on TikTok I saw make. And it's got really good gut healthy ingredients in it. It's got apple cider vinegar in it. Tart cherry juice, which I believe has a bunch of other benefits. Kelly and I were trying to talk about that. We know it has benefits, but don't know which ones. We're not a hundred percent sure. And then it has lime juice and a splash of a soda I found that actually has prebiotics and probiotics in it. So it's good for your gut too, that's it's amazing. Yeah, it wasn't really sure how it was gonna go, but it actually turned out pretty good. I thought it was gonna be like a little extreme on the tart side, but it was good. Really good. Yeah. I'm trying to share these on our. LAF life Instagram page. So I shared a couple of the Feragaia ones, and I'll share this one too. Awesome. Love it. Yeah, so this will be my sixth alcohol free summer and I still love the bubbly. Yes. And I actually usually do click and collect for my groceries, but I wasn't organized enough to do that before coming to the cottage today. So I went into the grocery store and it was totally meant to be because there's a new bubbly flavor and it's coconut pineapple, and it's delicious. Oh, I was gonna say, that's my go-to. That sounds delicious. That's really, yeah, it's really good. Sounds like a very summer inspired drink. Yeah. What about you, Mike? What do you drink, Mike? When you're out and about and you're not drinking alcohol,
Mike:I don't wanna say. It's not good for you. No.
Kelly:It's sugar Pop
Mike:coke. Yeah. I've been drinking too much sugar lately, I think. Just with stress from work and just other crap. But if I'm not on the sugar, I drink lemon water for sure. I also drink. Water with apple cider vinegar. Oh, it's an acquired taste. And I drink my teas in my online business that I have. There's many different teas I drink. I probably drink tea 65% of the time. So even in the summer but I haven't experimented with it. And you can in the cold I don't know what the right word is. Variety.
Tracey:Yeah, make it a cold tea instead of a hot tea, you mean?
Mike:Yeah. I've only had it cold because if it's been sitting on my desk for five hours in my Yeti and then I'm like, oh, it's oh, now it's cold. It's not bad. It's like anything, it's like acquiring a taste to something new. Yeah. Unfortunately sugar, I'm drawn to it, but I'm working on that. I've gotta try a few things to, to get off the sugar cuz we know the alcohol's sh sugar.
Kelly:But it's not alcohol, don't hard on yourself. Yeah.
Mike:No. It be worse when I go and look and then go 20 plus grams of sugar. Holy. What are you doing? But
Tracey:it's funny, speaking of cold tea, my daughter had her first Iced tea in the US when we were in Orlando.
Kelly:What is this? This is not iced tea. And I was like, she didn't get it. Sweet. No, she did get it sweet. But even still, she could tell it wasn't like iced tea we have here. Then I took a sip of it and to me it was like, oh God, pure, sugar,
Mike:it's cold. Teabag with maybe a splash of lemon. Yeah. But also the, depending where you get it, right? Yeah. Yeah, Americans, they love their exotic drinks. In fact, one of the first times I did work with a company out of Ohio. I remember I went out with the guy and he said I said, oh, I'll have a iced tea. And he says, do you want a half and half? And I said, what the hell's that half lemonade half. Iced tea and now you see it everywhere. That's an Arnold palmer. That's right. I had no idea. Yeah, that's a really good, yeah, that's a good thing to order if anybody's looking for something new to order when they're out and about this summer. Oh really? Yeah, that's a, Virgin cocktail. Oh, your culture. Gimme an Arny Palmer. Yeah. That's good.
Tracey:That's a good one there. There's a good recommendation.
Mike:What do you do when you're not drinking? What's the summer? If you have the luxury of hanging out in cottage all summer, I guess that's one thing, but not everybody has that luxury. So what are some of the things that you do, Tracey?
Tracey:Being at the cottage can be a challenge too. That's a big activity for us in the summer. And when I first stopped drinking, it was hard. It was hard to be up there. Everybody wants to sit on the beach or sit on the lake and have a drink. At that time went to my, alcohol free beer something alcohol free, or even alcohol free Rattlers. So there's a lot of those type of things. Just something that was quick and easy to grab that I could feel like I was participating, but, Again, I'm at a point now where none of that stuff is that important to me I'm over that. And I'm okay with just sitting with my water or my bubbly. Yeah,
Kelly:My first summer I remember being so worried about, not drinking and what people would think, and I would put my bubbly in a cozy, like a pure cozy, and nobody asked, like nobody knew. Yeah. So I know a lot of our listeners might be worried about what are people going to think? What are people going to ask me if they notice I'm not drinking? A they might not notice. Use a cozy if you want to. And then the other thing is, when somebody asks you if you wanna drink, you can just say, no, I'm good. No thanks, I'm good. You don't need to have a big, long explanation to attach to that. You don't need to say, I don't drink or whatever. And if somebody says, oh, you don't drink. Nope, I don't. And that's it. I think, yeah, there's a lot of fear around having to explain it or people, asking lots of questions, but no is a complete answer.
Tracey:Yeah, that's good. That's a good point, Kel. One of the things that the gentleman that was talking about how we survive an alcohol free summer. One of the things he mentioned that I thought was interesting was some questions you can ask yourself too, if you're concerned about your relationship with alcohol. So we had a small little list here. And the first one was do you sometimes drink more than you intend to? The second one was, do you sometimes or often drink on days or at a time when you don't intend to? So it was all around your intentions, which I thought was very interesting. Then the last two questions were, do you count your drinks in an effort to control your intake? And do you find rationalizations justifications for your drinking? Oh,
Kelly:sheesh. I was a yes to all of those, but yeah, I thought those were interesting. Questions how they were posed. Because it really goes around your intentions, right? Yeah. Yeah. Going back to, the conversation we were having with our guests last week and how, we've had it many times with other guests too, and amongst ourselves about just how we normalize it. Oh yeah. So it is normalized.
Tracey:Yeah. Not just society as a whole, but we normalize it for ourselves amongst our peers, with our friends and all of that. I think we gotta find ways now to normalize not drinking. And that's part of Yeah. Thinking about summertime and things to do and maybe reposing that question as to how we can start to normalize not drinking in the summertime. Yeah.
Kelly:And you can also say no to going to events where you know there's gonna be a lot of alcohol. Yeah. You don't have to go to everything. You don't have to say yes to everything. Yes. Yeah. And one of the big things for me that just popped into my head was I always made sure that I drove places. And I've mentioned that before in the podcast, but I always made sure I had an out, like I didn't rely on anybody else to drive or getting anywhere, but if I ever felt, like I didn't want to be somewhere I could leave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tracey:And, center some activities maybe around your kids because those type of activities don't usually involve alcohol. Yeah. I think maybe put more, hopefully focus on that. Yeah. Decide. Okay, if I'm gonna cut out on my drinking, then this is maybe something that I'm gonna. Refocus my attention on or prioritize, spend some quality time with your kids or plan some special events with them Yes. That, normally you wouldn't drink doing. Yeah. And hopefully you have one or two friends and you're fortunate enough that aren't big drinkers or that don't drink often. Try to surround yourself with those type of people, those people that are gonna better align with what you're trying to accomplish.
Kelly:Do you feel like that naturally happened with you guys? Like I feel like for me, it naturally happened. I'm not around people that drink a lot. I was at a girls' weekend at a cottage last weekend and there was six of us and nobody got drunk. There was two of us that don't drink at all, but the other four, nobody was getting wasted. In my old life, That's what it was. And I was usually the one that was wasted. Yeah, it's just, I find it interesting that it's just been a natural thing that I'm not really around people that drink a lot anymore. What do you guys think?
Tracey:I think for me, it's more so when I was drinking, I started to align myself with more drinkers. Ah, because if I really scaled back, the people in my life a lot, my best friend for most of my life does not drink. And she never really has. So back when I wasn't a drinker, we were driving around, partying together at the bars and stuff, not drinking. Yeah. Together. We were always companions and the ones not drinking. Yeah. I was always driving. Yeah. Then, Even some of my other close friends are minimal drinkers, like a glass of wine or whatnot. But yeah, I did find my circle of friends really started to expand to people that drank more when I started drinking more. And so yes, that's trimmed back because I don't hang out with those people as much anymore. And I've basically gone back to my core and for some reason, and not intentionally, but maybe the universe did it for me, I ended up with a person that doesn't drink. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. I don't think Mike has had that experience as much, no.
Kelly:You still have the same group of friends
Mike:having the universe align me with someone who doesn't drink? No. Having friends that don't drink, Mike the universe hasn't aligned you with anybody yet, have they? Wow.
Kelly:Whoa. Something you're not telling us.
Mike:Whoa. We're not getting into my life, but you're onto something.
Kelly:Oh, what? Where's Lindsay? Get her on. She can't miss this.
Mike:No, the universe isn't aligned me with somebody. Don't get your hopes up. Meaning I won't bug you. Yeah. For the most part, everybody that I hang out with does drink. I find a lot of them don't. Include me in certain things. Like they used to like, Hey, we're going to a pub to watch band. And it's you find out the next day and I'm like, eh, fuck. Thanks for the invite. But it's no skin off my back. It doesn't hurt my feelings. I think they just don't invite me because in their mind it's like either A is not gonna come, or B, what fun is it if he comes and he doesn't drink? I don't know. I think about it in the context of what am I missing out on? I'm missing out on crazy hangovers, that's for sure. I don't think that's a bad thing in any regard. But I've said before, there are times where it's I'll give you an example. If I go to a. One Blue Jay game a year or two at the most. That's kind of something where if I could say this, I miss going to have a couple beers. Baseball to me has always been having a beer or two, whatever is, a cuz it's 25 bucks for a beer. So I'm not buying eight beers at 200 bucks. I don't know it just goes hand in hand. I don't miss it. I'm just, Kind of saying that's where one time where I'd be like, yeah, you know what, maybe. But now that I'm at this point of four years or three and a half years, I think if I drank again a I'd probably fall on my ass pretty quickly. But I don't know that I'd go back to the lifestyle that I had and I didn't have a lifestyle of. Daily drinking. I was more social and my problem was I was going out so much with different groups of people who, as ironically I alluded to prior, don't call me anymore cuz I'm not that Mike to them. I can't think of anybody. There are a few guys, but I don't even see them. If I see them, it's literally a coffee and it's not on a Saturday night. It's like a Saturday late morning into noontime just to catch up. There's a few people that you know, trace. Yeah. But yeah, not from the, I'm going for dinner and after dinner, like I don't have that. I guess it would be nice, but.
Tracey:But that's okay too, right? It just means you've shifted your activity with them instead of going out drinking with them, you're having coffee with them and catching up instead, which is probably more quality time, right?
Mike:I go out golfing. As you guys know, I golf a lot and the guy, a lot of the guys in golf with, they all drink. Two weeks ago I went away for a golf weekend and everybody drank with the exception of me.
Tracey:But that's part of the challenge, I think with summertime too though, is we associate those activities with drinking, right? Like the baseball, the golfing. Yeah. The cottaging for guys, that part for sure. The golfing and that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna say, I think it's easier for women over men because it's not, I don't think it's easy for anybody, but I think there's more things where. I could give you an example. My sister plays women's soccer and I don't know they might, I don't know if they stick around after their game to have beers like the guys would with hockey and baseball and football and all that stuff. I could be wrong and I, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I just know that the extent that we did it, they do it now still. I mean hours and hours of post-game drinking. Yeah. No, it's like you said, it's just part of, a ritual, right? But yeah, I like what you're saying earlier, it's making it normalizing the not drinking. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And I see,
Mike:You've alluted places like in Winnipeg with these, it's happening. I'd love to. I've never been to Winnipeg. Maybe I'll get in the car and go on a road trip. As far as it's, and go to the sober market or whatever.
Kelly:Yeah.
Tracey:So what is a sober market, Kel? What does that mean? They sell, all non-alcoholic cocktails, mixes and things like that. To make your cocktail there trace. They, dance there Probably Tracey.
Kelly:No. It's a store. It's like a liquor store, but no liquor. Oh,
Mike:I'm sorry. I thought that was a bar. Oh my bad. There is a bar coming, you said? Not that I know of, but Oh, I thought you said there was a bar coming. Oh, I thought so too. They say N a F, which means not alcohol. Alcohol free beverage retailer and online market.
Tracey:Oh, okay. I thought you meant like a market. Like when you go to those outdoor markets in the summertime where they have local store local vendors and stuff like that, and the two locations that they're in Winnipeg are very like trendy. I guess you'd say maybe that makes me sound old. I don't know what the new word for that is, but they're cool people live in those two areas. They have okay, so there's non-alcoholic whiskey, gin, tequila, rum. You can get a whole bundle of all of those things. Ritual is the brand name ritual, zero proof free spirits. The sober market, providing options, lifestyle choice, mental health, clarity, personal health goals, abstaining, taking a break, safe driving, physical training, performance, family planning, getting up early, better sleep, improving relationships just because there are many reasons you might want to switch it up after having tasted much of what the world has to offer. We have done the weighing and measuring, and you won't be left wanting. These are the products you will find in our own home that we personally enjoy and offer to family and friends. They've got wines, like all kinds of wines, all kinds of stuff in cans, Moscow, mule, all kinds of stuff. Mojito, Bini. That's awesome. Whatever that is. Yeah. So anyway, and I just love that, like that part of their website that says these are all the reasons why people may choose not to drink, and none of them said, The A word, the alcoholic, right? So it's for everybody who just wants to see what it's like. Maybe. No, that was a really cool thing about our conversation with Feragaia too, with Jamie, just their whole concept and marketing of what they're doing is just so great because they're taking the alcohol out of it. They're just talking about it, about simplifying and reconnecting in kind of an old fashioned spirit of just reconnecting with people and and scaling it back to the simplicity of, just simple conversations and, enjoying the outdoors and all that stuff. And reconnecting with people and the earth, so to speak. Yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, I love it. I feel like people are, and I know for myself too, I was like how am I gonna do this? how am I gonna do life without this? And now with all these options, it's here's how you do it, I love it. This is probably a weird comparison, but way back when I gave up beef, right? And people are like, I can't even tell you how many people, as many that ask me how I gave up. alcohol, ask me how I gave up beef. Oh, how do you not eat steak? I know, I hear it all the time. Yeah. So this has been my whole life. I've heard this, but. The interesting thing about it is my response was always by the time I gave up beef, there were so many other options, I never missed it. And I feel like I could say that same thing about alcohol at this point, right?
Kelly:Yeah. There's no good reason to do it. Is there? I can't think of any reason why somebody would want to do it. Like to one, there's no be, there's no benefit to drinking. Zero. We all know this now, and more people are learning this now, especially health conscious people. They're like, wait maybe not. Maybe this isn't a fit.
Tracey:Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think the other thing is that. Things like this market that you have in Winnipeg, just in general. I think a lot of the events that we have, there's so many events going on in the summer, and then there's always alcohol there. I think that's where we should start normalizing it Have alcohol free options or cut down on the amount of alcohol vendors you have there. Sub them in with a couple other options for people. Again, going back to normalizing it, right? Yeah. Yeah we have a music festival here in the summertime called Folk Fest. It's a pretty big deal. It's four days. They had a cool I'm sure they sell this drink at the sober market, but it's just like a cool can. It's like a flavored soda, but it looks good. It's cool and I saw lots of people going up and getting that instead of beers and stuff, yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Any other. Ideas you guys have for surviving this summer sober? I think, definitely it gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself. That's probably why people drink, is that they're maybe scared to be alone, scared to go deeper on a spiritual level. And drinking usually is rooted to trauma, as we alluded to 1,001 times. So what better excuse than to it's the summer, I'll give it up in the fall, and the fall comes and it's fall nights good fires, and it's just it's like a goddamn Ferris wheel. Maybe it's. Not giving it up entirely. Maybe you're not ready to give it up entirely, but maybe you're spacing out the times that you do drink. Maybe it's every two weeks, maybe it's every month. I don't know the answer. Everybody's different. We've all had different paths to get to where we're at yet. When it comes back to, for me is discovery more about thyself. I just think we live in a world of. A lot of fear and no one's perfect. The one way to get around fear is to judge people. And when you read more into that. When you're judging somebody, are you really judging them or are you judging yourself and what you don't like about yourself in judging that person. I think with alcohol, I know when I drank, I did a lot of things that I regretted. But we all, talk about it's the bravery juice, it's the, whatever you want to call it. Liquid
Kelly:courage.
Mike:Yeah. You got it. I just find it so amazing that, when you hear people about, oh, I'm, trying to meet somebody, I'm trying to get involved in a relationship, whatever, it's gotta have a drink. All these shows They meet up, they have a drink at the bar, and then they have dinner and they have another glass of wine or a drink over dinner and by the time end of the show's they're a couple of'em over three sheets of the wind and it's like how the hell do you really get to meet somebody? Oh, I had a great time. In what? Yeah. Funny, right? Like someone can be very funny. I'm sure that happens. I'm sure I was funny when I was drunk, but if you're trying to meet somebody. What's the limit? What are you looking to give out in return into really genuinely meeting somebody, especially the young kids, the younger generation. We've been down that road,
Tracey:In saying that, Mike, you're just making me think. If you really thought about it, summer's more like an ideal time to not drink if you're considering just because you have some things naturally available to you to help with that. Like for instance, if you are dating. There's so many things you can do outdoors. We have the luxury of having beautiful summers where we live. Go for a walk by the beach or go for ice cream, right? All these things that you can go for much to do. Yeah, do instead of going for a drink, right? There's lots. Not only that, but summertime, naturally, our mood levels are heightened and better because of the nice weather, because of the sunshine. It's really like you could utilize the summer to prepare yourself for that alcohol free journey. Before we hit winter, when it's dark and depressing and Right. Everything else. So I feel you naturally have the ability to set yourself up for success based on just the natural elements around you. Yeah. If you start in the summer, and also if you're a competitive or challenge type of person, it's probably one of the best times to challenge yourself because of all the socialization and all the alcohol that's around. If you can make it through the summer and not drink, then you're a lot, probably more likely to be able to make it through the winter when you're doing a lot less socializing. It was like quitting during covid, yeah. It helped that it was covid because you weren't socializing as much. Yeah, I like how Mike said it's an opportunity to get to know yourself too, and if drinking was your main activity which it was for me, that was my thing, that was my hobby. Try new things like For me, I bought a kayak, a couple years after I quit drinking and went kayaking by myself and then you don't have to be dating or whatever. I did a lot of these things by myself. I rode my bike a lot or I still do, but, just try things maybe that you miss doing from when you were younger or things that you've seen other people doing that you might wanna try. We have lots of, I'm sure you guys do there too. Everybody's listening hopefully has some sort of hiking trails around and provincial parks and things like that. But there's lots to do out there. And if you don't know what you like, just try something and see if you like it.
Mike:I have a question. In your kayaking journeys, have you ever been caught in a storm?
Kelly:No. Not, I've never been caught in a storm of my kayak. I've fallen outta my kayak. That's pretty funny. By yourself? I was with a girlfriend. She was behind me and she laughed pretty hard. She didn't help me because she was laughing so hard.
Tracey:I've fallen many a times trying to get in a kayak. No. Yeah. My daughter had a really good laugh about that. Yeah. Yeah. Kelly got caught in a storm tonight in her boat.
Kelly:Yes. Yes.
Mike:I was just gonna say, so in relation to the getting to know somebody or dating, whatever you wanna call it, do you guys think that now here we are, we sit in this probably, I don't know, let's just call it 20 years for argument's sake of the cell phone era. And we all know that, there's been thousands and thousands of studies and distractions and yada, and screen time and all this stuff. But did you find yourself enamored in screen time and doing drinking at the same time? I can remember going to the bar and looking like people were looking at their phone and drinking and it's fuck. What happened to the whole socialization aspect of, aside from the phone. Communicating with somebody. And then the second part of that part of my comment is related to if you're getting to know somebody, especially with a phone where you're actually out doing something that requires you to pay attention to somebody. Or if you're riding a bike or rollerblading or whatever, where you can't, you know what I'm saying? You're not distracted by the phone. I just think that. The phone has led a lot of people to discomfort levels in their own life that may have pushed them in the direction of doing things like drinking drugs, whatever, like they're connected in some way. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I just think that we get distracted so much that. We're stressed and go for a drink. We'll do something counterproductive.
Tracey:They're both distractions for one. So they have that in common. And they're both pretty much numbers, right? Scrolling through social media is pretty mind numbing just as drinking is, so That's right. Yeah. That's kinda what I'm alluding to then. Yeah. So it's not shocking. They go hand in hand. Yeah. Then it's like you're just going down that self-pity spiral, right? Yeah. And that's where the drinking and then seeing all the other people and what they're doing on social media type of thing, the comparisons start and all that negative downward spiral.
Mike:It'll definitely be interesting in another 15 to 20 years to see where the world's at.
Kelly:those are numbers and I would challenge anybody that's, uses a number to. Relieve stress, which is very temporary to do something that's the opposite of that would, which would be like to be more connected to another person or to nature. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk and then see how you feel. If you feel like having a drink to relieve that stress, really just leave your phone on the kitchen counter. Go for a walk, hopefully somewhere where there's trees. A hundred times better if you take your shoes off and walk in the grass. And notice how you feel long term, I remember the first 20 minutes, so that glass of wine was great. But after that, no. Being in nature, that lasts much, much, much longer. That's really true. Battery. It's like a brick battery. Yep. And you were alluding to grounding, which is yeah. Scientists, it's proven right? Yeah. You can watch a free documentary on YouTube called Earthing and it's really good Earthing. That's right. Yeah. Oh, cool. Have to check that out cuz I, yeah. I listened to a podcast that was all about grounding. Grounding yourself to the earth and alternative ways to actually do it. And how important it is for heaven sake. Yeah, exactly. That's what this gentleman was talking about, Mike, but he was also saying even just to go outside and, like Kelly said, put your bare feet in the grass for doesn't take very long. Yeah. You gotta watch this documentary. It's so good. It instantly changes your frequency in your body, like instantly. It's very healing. That's good. That's a great recommendation when we're talking about healing yourself or Yeah. Or trying to get away from a negative substance. Yeah. Caroline said last week, you need to have a replacement. Yes, you're not eliminating stress from your life. You're eliminating alcohol from your life. It doesn't make your life less hopefully along your healing journey it gets less stressful, but I don't think anybody's gonna be able to eliminate stress from their life, but we're gonna hopefully, what's the solution? Hopefully find healthier ways
Tracey:to coping mechanisms. Yeah. Yeah.
Mike:I saw a little snippet of People using copper rods. Or putting rods in the ground and wrapping with copper wire and helping their gardens grow. But the interesting thing I saw in relation to that was sick dogs, or dogs in general with different ailments. Either they were sick or they were hyper, whatever you wanna call it. They were drawn to these areas where these rods were, and they would sit. For a length of time and just chill. Some cats were doing it where the cat would go and lay in the garden right by the rod and it'd just
Kelly:be like, oh wow. I need this for my dog. Yeah, try. That's crazy,
Mike:right? Yeah. If I had a dog I'd do it in a second, that would be the first thing I'd do. I'd take care of the dog before I take care of myself. Oh, Mike, oh. Anyway, it's a whole topic.
Tracey:We don't have control over many things or anybody else, but we do have control over how we react to things. Speaking of stress. And I think part of controlling how we react to things has to do with what we're utilizing to react to them. So if you're utilizing alcohol to react to your stress, Really, inevitably you're creating more stress for yourself because we know the repercussions of that. Whereas if you just come up with some healthy coping tools, then you'll manage the way you're reacting much better.
Kelly:And yeah, unfortunately that message has come from society and social media saying this is how you relieve stress. You drink. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Going back to, let's find other ways to reward ourselves. Let's reward ourselves with self-care and self-love, not food and alcohol. Fill yourself with those things, not with the latter. Yeah. Connection. Yeah. Connection to somebody or nature.
Tracey:Like you said, Mike, activities for dating are great. They're a great way to connect and, get rid of the cell phone. And in the summertime they're abundant, right? Go mini golfing, rent kayaks. Do paddle boarding. Love it. Try something new or. And that's a great thing, opportunity together. I feel like I got the gift of time when I stopped drinking too, to do all these fun things because I wasn't nursing a hangover and I wasn't chasing the next drink or just sitting around drinking now this gift of time gives me the opportunity to do so many of these fun things. It's not just the gift of time, it's the amount of head space you also relieve yourself of. Not be constantly thinking about drinking when you're gonna have your next drink and planning all that stuff. You also release head space when you stop drinking. Not only do you get back time, but you get back that, and as I've said for myself also motivation to do other things that bring much more value to your life than alcohol.
Kelly:Yeah. Interesting.
Tracey:What'd you say, Mike? That's an interesting. Oh, I thought you said cheers.
Mike:No, I said think cheers. That, where that came from was I know with stress, my own personal journey with stress it's always connected to. Uncontrollable future events. And I think the way that I deal with it is I get drunk or I get high or hit both, usually both. That way you don't have to deal with it. And we all know, when you get drunk, you're not dealing with the things that really bother you in a sober state. So I think. As we progress. you get to a point where, or you're working towards a point where you are having those moments of stress is ready to be caused by what have you. Yet it's finding a way to say, I'm just gonna be right here and trust that the next thing that comes to me is going to trust life.
Kelly:It's like practicing presence. It's and hard. It's hard. It's hard. No. And we're not sitting here trying to, be gurus or whatever and say, ah, yeah, it's cake walk. No, but it's a hell of a lot easier in this state than it is in a frantic state of constant disconnect cuz that's what you're doing. You're disconnecting from your reality really. Yeah. People's regrets usually stem from u I don't wanna say always, but usually stem from some form of substance, whether it's drugs, alcohol, Sorry, what did you say Stems from that?
Tracey:People's regrets.
Kelly:Oh, regrets. Yeah. Regrets. Regrets. Sleeping with the wrong people or even getting in the wrong relationships with people. Yeah. Come on. We've all, we're staying in the, staying in relationships with people. Yeah,
Mike:That's what I was saying. Staying in the wrong relationships. Yeah. Yeah. Look truth be told one night stands, don't, that's a very small relationship in some capacities. Cause you've gone that route. People tend to brush it off oh whatever, it's this one. Yeah, but you know what? If you're giving a part of yourself to this other person, especially in a drunken state, and it's oh my God, I can't tell you how many times. And it's, more women than men say, I cannot believe I did that. They won't, come out and admit it fully, but yet I think a lot of them would say, I really wish I didn't do that. Because then what the conversation leads to is how do I feel about myself and what I've done in my past? It doesn't define who I am now, but it's a big contributing factor into how you feel about yourself, right? And then you gotta go down that road of maybe I need to, do a little bit of self-work so I feel better about myself again, when you could clearly avoid that by, not doing those things.
Tracey:That's a good point, Mike. I never really thought of that, but you're right. Like how many things would we truly regret in life if alcohol or drugs were involved? How many really poor decisions do we make when we're sober? I got a lot, long about stories that I tell people and they think it's absolutely phenomenal and yeah, everybody's got'em. Yeah there might be a few small decisions you make that you regret cuz maybe you're making them in a split second or, you didn't put a lot of thought into them. But I think more of our bad decisions, you're right, Mike are Oh, problem when something else is involved. Okay. I'm gonna say that I have made some decisions that weren't great over the last few years. As far as who I spent time with and things like that, but I was quickly able to recognize where that came from. It was always a reflection back on myself and I always learned from it. So don't think I have any regrets not regrettable, but definitely not the smartest decision sometimes for my wellbeing. But it came out. Positive on the other end. Cuz I learned something.
Mike:Your revolution came to you much quicker.
Kelly:Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to reflect on myself if I was drinking. That's what I'm saying.
Mike:No, it would just be a vicious cycle of Right. That's why you talk, you, not you personally, but we talk to people who say, oh, I don't wanna do about this relationship or this job. I hate my job. Come on. It's all about not pulling the trigger and saying, you know what your gut's telling you to say fuck, get out. Go get the hell out. Go for me. Yeah. And how many times has that come up on the podcast that we're ignoring? You call it the voice, your gut your're, intuition, whatever, Yeah, We're using alcohol to numb. What our intuition is actually telling us is the truth tomorrow. Tomorrow the truth. Tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow, right? Yep. You're telling yourself tomorrow by, Yeah. And I do it all the time still with certain things, but
Kelly:Yeah. Nobody's perfect. You got it. But everything's easier without alcohol.
Tracey:Absolutely. And you know what? It gets easier and easier every day. Yes. As time passes, it just gets better and better. even socially I can say, I'm heading towards three years now, and with every year, Socializing has gotten easier and better and less of a thought process around the fact that I'm somewhere with people drinking and I'm not drinking. Yeah. It's became less and less of something that even comes to mind, let alone is a boundary or a roadblock.
Kelly:You're not white knuckling it two and a half years later. Yeah. No white knuckling. It is oh my God, I wanna drink. Yep.
Tracey:No. But even my comfortability with being social, Has grown more and more without drinking. Because at first it's uncomfortable because you're used to having that, as we alluded to earlier, liquid courage, that thing that loosens us up. When you don't have that to lean on anymore, there's a discomfort. It's like you're constantly pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. Yes. But eventually that becomes your new normal and you adjust and you get used to it. You gotta reinvent yourself in a sober state. Absolutely. You're right, Mike. You become a different version of yourself, yeah. To some degree, for sure. I think it could be funny and people can be witty. I find that people are more witty when they're drunk. Because it's oh fuck, they don't care. Yeah. Yeah. So being able to maintain that wittiness in a sober state, and having that attitude of this is who I genuinely am. I'm a witty person. Or I'm a funny person or whatever, and it, okay. It's okay. But no, truth it, no joke it's the whole, I just hate the whole while I was drunk like I said, and I was drunk and it's like, what's a cop out? I'm still witty and funny when I don't drink. Says you.
Kelly:So yeah. Good. That's, I think we covered some really good stuff. I would say no is a complete answer. People don't care as much as you think they care. If you're not drinking and find fun things that you wanna try, new things that connect you to other people or to nature.
Tracey:Yeah. And see summer is a perfect opportunity while the sun's shining and you have so many other things, you can be doing so much right outside your door. Yeah. That you can be enjoying and for free. Yeah, exactly. Not costing you money For sure. Yeah. I was thinking about that the other day. Oh my gosh, if I was still drinking, like how much money would I be spending? Everything's so expensive now. Yeah. I can't even imagine what a bottle of wine is now. And adding that up every day. I asked a guy, I said, how much is a case of beer now? And he'd say It was like$60. I was like, are you like,
Kelly:wow. So if a case of beer 24, is that 24 case? Yeah I'm pretty sure it's who meant I could be wrong, right? But if a case of beer is 60 bucks and I've gone with guys golfing and stuff and they're buying a can of beer and it's$10. 10 fucking dollars. Wow. And I like, that's crazy. I would easily have spent over a hundred dollars just drinking at the golf course and then after. Like bloody broke. So there's another plus save lots of money, do free things. There you go. Thanks everybody for joining us. You can find us on Instagram at LAF Life podcast. We have a link to our Facebook community. Please recommend our podcast to a friend. Until next time, keep laughing. Goodnight guys. Bye Heo. Word. Thank you for listening. Please give us a five star rating like and subscribe, share on social media and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the laugh life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.