Holiday TIPS & How to Tackle 30 Days "AF" (alcohol free) Season 3, Ep. 10

It's been an incredible start to Season 3 so far with 10 great episodes released. Were going into the holiday season and it's time for LAF Life to take a little Winter break. We will be back with more great episodes in 2024! Join us here for this special Holiday Wrap-up episode, where we offer our listeners some tips for the Holidays as well as try to help them prepare for the aftermath of the holiday season. We are giving our top tips for tackling 30 days alcohol free. This episode is one of our personal best and a definite MUST listen especially if.......

• you are hosting this holiday season
• your considering trying 30 days alcohol free
• you have just started your alcohol free journey
• you are questioning your relationship with alcohol
• you need motivation or inspiration

We got you! The best gift you can give yourself this holiday season is a break from alcohol. 

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**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.

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Transcript

Kelly: 0:02

Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey Djordjevic, and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories. We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support.

Tracey: 0:40

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the LAF life podcast. Tonight is going to be our holiday wrap up. We are getting ready to go into the holidays and LAF life is going to be taking a little break. So we thought it would be great to start off your holidays with something that you may end up ending your holidays with. And that would be dry January. So we thought it would be great to help the people out there after the holidays that want to consider doing a DRY January by giving them some ideas and some tips on how they can tackle that. So tonight, that is what we are going to discuss. Welcome ladies.

Kelly: 1:19

Hey.

Lindsey: 1:20

Hello.

Tracey: 1:21

Hey, this is episode 10, that's great.

Kelly: 1:25

I was wondering, where did that time go? I know, so thank you to our listeners for tuning in for the last 10 episodes. And yeah, we're going to take a little break. Enjoy some holiday cheer ourselves. Get our shopping caught up and spend time with our families. Then we will be back in the new year with more exciting stuff for our listeners, more exciting guests.

Tracey: 1:50

Let's get into it girls. I love this topic. You guys know I quit in December right before Christmas back in 2019, right? 2019. Yeah. Oh my God. So I'm coming up on four years next month, this December. That was awkward. I've told that story before when I went to my mom's for Christmas Eve like we always do and I was given a nice big bottle of red wine. That was my usual gift and yeah. I would say one of the things I would suggest is if you are going to be cutting back or you want to stop drinking for Christmas or this month or next month, one of the things that I wish I would have did because I didn't is tell people ahead of time. I'm coming to this party or gathering, just letting people know I'm trying to cut back on drinking. So that way, when I got to the place that I was at, And that anxiety about having to talk about it or share it for the first time would be a lot lower. Right. And that's something, yeah, that I wanted to touch on again too, Linz, from the last episode. And that's a perfect example how we talked with Jessie about hosting tips. And to not be asking your guests as soon as they walk in the door, what do you want to drink? Instead, make sure you have a selection for drinkers and non drinkers, and make it be that they have control of their own choice. Just direct them to where those drinks are or where the bar is if you have one set up, and let them make their own choice so that they're not in that awkward situation. And definitely, as Kelly loves to say, do not give booze as a gift.

Lindsey: 3:35

No, and I've done it guys, like I've given bottles of wine and alcohol as a gift, so many good points were made. You don't know what state a person is when they walk in. Somebody could have just made the decision to cut back or stop drinking altogether because it's impacting their life in a negative way. And then you give them a gift of wine or like I've seen parents do that as teacher gifts. Giving wine God.

Tracey: 4:01

You don't even know if someone drinks. That's the thing with strangers. Yeah, there's same here. I've done it so many times. At my last organization, I was given LCBO gift certificates from certain people, so everybody does it. But it was really Kelly, you who brought that whole scenario to light for me too when you brought it up. And it's very true. And. I think even if I was someone still drinking, you would have made me think twice about it after what you said about it, because it's true, like Jesse mentioned, you don't even know if someone's pregnant, maybe, and they're not ready to tell people

Kelly: 4:39

or trying to get pregnant. Yes, yeah. Yeah, my struggle with alcohol was so private, I didn't share with anybody other than my partner and my best friend. Those are the only two people that knew how much I was struggling with alcohol. And. Yeah, there were times when I was, going through the cycle of trying to moderate and things like that and making rules, but there were times where we said, no alcohol in the house, like we'll only drink when we go out for dinner. And that was one of our things. We never had like wine in my house. It never sat there. I remember seeing things what do you do with a leftover bottle of wine? It's what's that? Yeah. Yeah. So it's just, you never know. There's so many other amazing gifts. There's farmer's markets everywhere these days and craft sales. What?

Lindsey: 5:33

Candles, tea.

Kelly: 5:34

And candles and tea. Yeah, there's so many other things to give or make something or, I just think it's the worst gift you can give somebody. I can see now how it is. Yeah, me too. And that's what I hope, there's no judgment. Of course I gave alcohol as gifts too, there's no judgment to people who do it, but I love sharing about this topic because like you guys just said, you wouldn't have thought about it before, right? Hopefully it makes somebody think twice before, going and picking up a bottle of wine, go and pick up some, homemade jams or, have here in Winnipeg, we have like local mustard, smack dab mustard.

Lindsey: 6:12

Yeah, local jam. I love it.

Tracey: 6:14

So on the topic of dry January or doing 30 days dry, which after the holidays, when everybody's overindulged, a lot of people are ready and prepared to do that. For a lot of people, it's a lot less daunting to think of doing it after the holidays than it is during the holidays. Kudos to you, Linz, doing it before the holidays. mind you, I did, and so did Kel, actually. We both quit in November, right? No, Kel, you were after the holidays. Did you do a dry January before you quit? Or

Kelly: 6:48

no, I didn't do there were times where we would say, let's not drink this month and we would go. So I want to say, I do want to say something about that because I was definitely, abusing alcohol for a long time. And that. I don't think we called it dry January or whatever we call it now I think we just decided let's not drink for this month. And the fact that we could do it. I was like then I don't have a problem. So that's just like a word of caution, I guess but I really See it as an opportunity to, see how you feel and how does your body feel and how's your brain? You're gonna feel really good. But yeah, I just wanted to, Put a little word of caution just because you can go 30 days doesn't mean you don't have a problem because that was for me.

Tracey: 7:39

That's one of the reasons why this topic kind of got brought up is how we approach it right that a lot of people approach it as like a countdown to the day 30 when they can drink again, or like a nail biting experience. And that's really what we want to caution people away from as well, is to not see it that way. Like you said, Kel, make it about being really present and observing what is happening to you physically and mentally. And I'd say even write it down or keep a dry 30 journal. And maybe every day

Kelly: 8:16

I saw somebody start a Facebook group with their friends to do it. That's great. That's awesome. And there are a lot of support groups out there to while you're doing it that you could join. If you're looking for that. Another thing that I was thinking about, and that I had heard is thinking about re scripting. Personally for yourself, changing the narrative on how we talk about it or see it too, because we often see it as, Oh, I can't have a drink. Instead of seeing it as, I can't have a drink, twist that around to something that you're doing that's healthy or a value for yourself. It's a choice you're making like instead of saying I can't have a drink say I've decided January I'm going to dedicate to my health and I want to be really clear minded in January. I've decided not to drink, or whatnot, changing the narrative on that. So it doesn't seem so much like a death sentence. Yeah. White knuckling it. And if you do drink on day three, then don't throw the towel in, right? It's okay. It's okay. Again on day four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Tracey: 9:26

There's going to be temptations and it's going to be hard. don't do it as a punishment. Don't do your dry January or your dry 30 as a punishment, do it as an act of self love. Yes. Yes.

Kelly: 9:39

Oh, I need to cleanse or like I see it with people who diet oh I ate too much over the holidays. So now I got to go on a diet. No just love yourself a little more.

Lindsey: 9:49

I love that. I think too. For me, I know I had such a terrible Christmas Eve the year before where I was blacked out had to be carried in after my mom's it was so embarrassing. People questioned like why did you quit in December that's one of the biggest drinking months but I had to define my holiday I had to come up with what is going to be the truth. about Christmas or the holidays for me. And it's I don't want to be that person and I don't want to be carried out and I don't want to be blacked out. I want to be present for my niece and nephews. I want to really like, remember things. I don't want to miss Christmas day, which happened that last Christmas before the one that I said I was done. What's your holiday truth? Define how you want it to go and then decide, okay, how did it go with alcohol? Is this going to align with how I want the holiday to be? Or is it something that I have to adjust my relationship with so that I can have the best Christmas possible?

Tracey: 10:55

That's really good. Yeah. I had another note here that said, write a why list. Yeah, write a list of your why's. Why are you doing a 30 day dry? And what do you believe will be the benefits? Or what are you looking to get out of it?

Lindsey: 11:12

Yeah, yeah, I even hate the word dry, like it dry January it just makes it sound so bad and like a punishment, right? Yeah.

Tracey: 11:21

That's the other thing I also had make it fun, right? Have a fun replacement, use this time to experiment with non alcohol beverages, make mocktails, or see it as an experiment. I did this when I got really fed up with the whole dating scene, the online dating thing. I just started seriously seeing it almost like an experiment. What am I going to learn and get out of this? I'm going to participate in this. And then see what the outcomes are. Look at it that way and make fun. I

Lindsey: 12:00

think to always bring your own drinks yeah, I wouldn't go anywhere even now. If I'm invited to a party I have either a backpack or a little, carrier and I've got my own stuff in there. Me too. So that I don't have to feel like, oh, there's nothing here for me. Or if someone's what do you want to drink? I'd be like, okay, it's no big deal. Like I don't need anything. I brought my own stuff actually. And that way you're never without those alcohol free options. And I don't know some people it's a newer thing, maybe not as mindful or they don't really know what to stock or have available. So just bring your own stuff.

Tracey: 12:38

And we all have one of these. Huh. I don't know. I don't know. Traveller type of mugs. most of us do. Put whatever you want in there. Who's gonna know, right? That's true. I know I go everywhere with that. At minimum I always have that if I don't have extra drinks I brought myself. But, yeah, that's what I mean. Be creative. Make some mocktails, or bring stuff to make mocktails at the party and offer mocktails to other people. I've done that up at the cottage. I brought the Farragaya up to the cottage and, started making mocktails for everybody. You can always be, you can be the initiator of those things too. And, be the person that's doing something different in a positive and fun way. Yeah. Instead of it being the negative. Oh, you're the one not drinking. In line with that prepare a clever response. Yes. When you're asked why you're not drinking prepare a clever response that doesn't include I'm doing a dry 30. Have your response align with your goals.

Kelly: 13:46

I have a few of those.

Lindsey: 13:48

Are they sarcastic and we're on the same page. I'm like, because I love myself.

Kelly: 13:54

Yeah. I've reached my lifetime maximum. Yeah. Yeah. That's more of like, why don't you drink when somebody says that? You can throw some of those good ones out there, ladies. Maybe somebody wants to borrow some. Yeah, you can just say I'm not drinking tonight. That's right. This always comes up, but there is no need for an explanation. I think when we get anxious and we're not confident, like if this is a new thing we're trying, we've never done it before, then there's this feeling, the need to over explain. It feels awkward. So that feels awkward to us. But other people probably aren't even noticing, they don't care. And if they do ask, all you have to say is, I'm not drinking.

Lindsey: 14:38

Trying a new thing. And too don't feel the need to attend every single event that you're invited to. Especially over the holidays, you don't have to go to everything. You can say no and leave when you want to have you guys like I know I've been at events or parties or I'm just like, Okay I'm personally ready to go but I feel awkward about leaving early or looking bad because I need to leave but I think you really just have to have those personal boundaries if you're ready to go, don't be afraid to say goodbye and goodnight And leave or step outside take a break. Yeah,

Kelly: 15:17

I drove everywhere at first. Oh, I love just so I could leave whenever I wanted. Yeah, and I wouldn't commit to driving anybody home or anything like that like when the time came and it was time to for me to go. I would offer rides if I felt like it but yeah I wouldn't commit to anything. Staying late or driving anybody home or anything like that. Yeah, now it's a little easier and there's always Uber, right? If you don't feel like being there anymore, just grab an Uber. I love that.

Tracey: 15:46

That's a great recommendation, too. If you drive then you always have that in your back pocket,

Lindsey: 15:52

there's a lot of check stops out this time of year, right?

Tracey: 15:54

Yes, yeah, so better to be safe. Yeah, no, good point too. So just going back to being present, I also had take notice, like notice your habits and your urges to drink. This is also a time to really, if you're reevaluating your relationship with alcohol to really take notice and then create new habits and routines as a replacement. So as soon as you notice what your triggers are, like for me, I know exactly what mine were I knew before I even stopped drinking what they were going to be. As soon as I came home and started cooking, boom. Wine.

Kelly: 16:37

Yeah, I was gonna say cooking's a big thing for a lot of people. And then the other thing for me was as soon as I got the kids to bed.

Tracey: 16:43

Yes. Yes. Or as soon as you sit on the couch and put a show on. Yeah. Yeah. been another big one for me too.

Kelly: 16:51

So what would be like, yeah what do we do? Or what do people do when those Things come up those triggers for me. I completely changed my routine. I didn't come home and make dinner right away. I went downstairs and worked out I stopped that mindset right away. I'm so extreme. I would always put the TV on and get my wine. So I didn't watch TV for a whole year.

Lindsey: 17:16

Wasn't there a chair that you wouldn't sit in or something? Yeah. I remember you telling me that.

Kelly: 17:20

Yeah, I stopped sitting in my chair that I watched TV and drank wine in. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

Tracey: 17:26

No, but I think that's important, right? If

Kelly: 17:28

I needed to do it, I needed to.

Tracey: 17:29

Yeah., I like to call it the art of distraction. Yeah. And this is where distraction is. It's beneficial. I say this is a key part of parenting. What do you do when your kids acting up or your kids asking for something or whining for something, you distract them with something else to get them away from that. And all of a sudden they'll stop doing it. It's for me, that was the key was the art of distraction, distract myself doing something else that was a healthier choice. And then I lost that mindset or focus of having the drink.

Kelly: 18:03

Well, and Trace, you're also creating like a domino effect, right? Like the type of person who comes home and goes downstairs to work out, because obviously you still need to make dinner after that. Yeah. Once you go into the kitchen you're going to make a healthier choice, hopefully.

Lindsey: 18:17

That is so true. I think too, finding ways to channel your stress, right? Especially over the holidays. If you're trying to. Cut back over the holidays, find those different ways to channel that holiday stress, yoga, go for a walk, work out read a book, meditate, do those different things instead of reaching for the wine or whatever your drink of choice is, and just breaking those habit patterns, those associations, Take a different way home so you don't have to drive by the liquor store that you normally drive by and pull into. I would joke and say my car just autopiloted into that parking lot on a Friday. I would be like, I'm not drinking this weekend and take the same route home every day. And there I already knew the store was coming up and without even thinking, I would just pull in. And I'm like I'm already here. I just want to get something like

Kelly: 19:08

going back to what you're saying before Linds about not having to attend every event if there are people in your life that you can't be around without drinking because they stress you out so much or make you feel so anxious don't go to those events anymore you don't have to spend time with these people or make it very. Limited, pop in, say hi, do it on your terms.

Lindsey: 19:34

I love that. It goes back to the re evaluating, right? We're not just re evaluating our relationship with alcohol, we could be re evaluating our relationship with many things, and that can include people. Yeah. Even if it's family, I think a lot of times, You feel that obligation to attend things or interact with those family members and I think we all have them where you're dreading or even in your friend group you're like oh they're gonna be there you know this is gonna happen or they're gonna Get on my ass about something and you're going to be like, just give me the damn glass of wine or whatever. But you know what? You've got to protect your peace and your boundaries. And if that means you say hello and they start talking and it's triggering you. You might just have to say, you know what? I have to walk away and I'll catch up with you in a few minutes or something or whatever. We can't be afraid to say no. And just, be vocal about what we need. We don't owe anything to anybody but ourselves. And we owe it to ourselves to keep our own promises. Yeah. So it's not going to be that person that's, pushing you to drink that has to wake up with you the next morning. It's you that has to wake up with you and answer to those things. And. Have a conscious and feel the shame. You need to think about that. It's not about pleasing anybody else in these times. It's about taking care of yourself first. Yeah. So good. So the last thing I had written down would be, at the end of the 30 days, instead of being like, Oh, yes. I white knuckled it through the 30 days I made it and my reward is now alcohol. I think you really need to do a re evaluation, do a self evaluation of how the 30 days went based on your findings and feelings about it. Maybe delay adding alcohol back into your life and commit to keeping at least one new good habit. What kinds of things could we ask ourselves if we're doing a self evaluation just go over how we physically felt?

Tracey: 21:41

And if you wrote stuff down, like we recommended, re read the journal that you've been keeping. Ah, that's good. Remind yourself of, how you were feeling and the things that were making you feel good and the things that you did and the things you felt you were getting the most out of.

Lindsey: 21:59

Take note of how anxious or not so anxious you felt.

Kelly: 22:02

Yeah. That's a big one. I have a question you could ask yourself. Ooh, let's hear it. How would my life be better if I brought alcohol back into my life?

Lindsey: 22:13

Oh. Oh. I'm trying to think back to how you would have been feeling at that. Yeah. My first 30 days, like how would my life be better if I brought alcohol back? What wouldn't.

Kelly: 22:27

Exactly.

Lindsey: 22:31

It would probably turn into a gong show again.

Kelly: 22:34

I think that's such a good question. We can all anybody who's still drinking alcohol is how does this benefit my life? Yeah. Probably be hard to find reasons how it does. Which could make the decision to do a dry 30 easier.

Lindsey: 22:49

Yeah, for sure.

Kelly: 22:51

And, disclaimer, not everybody can just drop it and do 30 days, right? Some people need a medical detox and professional help and all that.

Lindsey: 22:59

Just get around people who are doing it too. There are literally groups out there that are created on Facebook for things like this. Yeah. That you can... Join and just get around the people that are going to support your decision if you've made that decision, I'm not going to drink or I'm going to cut back or whatever that is for you. Make sure you have people in your life virtually podcasts you're reading books. They don't have to be like some people like all my friends drink. And then it's like the response that I say is get new friends, but it, that doesn't mean like in person, you can find these people on Instagram, you can follow certain accounts, like just get that around you and then look at how they're living, right? Because a lot of these people inspire you to stay the course and to.

Kelly: 23:50

I needed to see that for sure. Yeah, I did too. I needed to see that people had done it for longer than me. And they were okay. And they were okay. And they

Lindsey: 23:59

were still cool. And they were still cool. Yeah.

Tracey: 24:02

They were still having fun. Yeah.

Lindsey: 24:05

Exactly. And they looked really good. And Their confidence, that's the thing, you get this confidence after a certain amount of time and in the beginning it's so scary and you don't really feel sure of yourself and then it's easy in that point to give up and throw in the towel but you just have to know you got to just go through it.

Tracey: 24:25

The confidence is so key, Linz. I know. Yeah, I was just thinking about that earlier the confidence that it gives you There's so much confidence just in being clear headed. Yes. That we underestimate, when we are drinking and our heads not in the right mindset. And it's constantly numbed. iT's amazing how much confidence is gained just knowing that you're going to wake up in the morning and feel good. I love it. Like the simplest things. You're going to wake up and feel good. You're going to be clear headed. You know that you're not in an altered state. You know that, you feel good and you remember everything. Yeah. It's the simplest things, but those simple things do create so much confidence in who you are as a person.

Lindsey: 25:19

It's a superpower to say no. I was thinking that too yes, like really the more you do it. You start to feel really good. Like I'm standing up for me and what I need despite what's going on around me, despite what everybody's doing and saying this is my truth right now. No, I'm not drinking. And most people we have it in our heads that we're going to get some big reaction and everyone's going to be like the record scratch like when you say you're not drinking and people turn around and just stare at you it actually like I didn't. I'm not drinking. Experience. I've never had that happen. No, like sure. I had people say oh, come on. You can just have one. I'm like, no, I don't want to. I never said I can't or I can't drink this. I don't want to. How are you going to argue with that?

Kelly: 26:09

And that superpower that you're talking about, I think you guys will both agree that is not just about alcohol. It's taken Other areas of our lives and given us confidence.

Tracey: 26:20

That's what I mean. And it's like all around. It's not just about drinking and going out and socializing and saying no to alcohol. It's every single part of my life is better because I decided. To not drink.

Lindsey: 26:34

That was the springboard for me. Yes. The sobriety, the living an alcohol free life gave me the confidence to start living my truth in other areas or start holding my standards in other areas, and it's funny how it started for me. It was the giving up the alcohol. I say giving up it's not really a give up because you gain so much you feel like it or you think it might be a loss but it's not what you gain is so much more than what you give up right

Kelly: 27:06

that was there's no way I could have even imagined that like I could not have I knew it was bad I knew I did not like myself at all anymore. But I never would have thought five plus years later that my life would be this good ever. I couldn't picture it.

Tracey: 27:24

Part of the confidence is too, that you're not in a shame cycle anymore because it's the shame cycle that is really killing your self esteem. So once that no longer exists. You find so much more value in yourself, and it becomes clearer and clearer, the things that you shine at. And like you said, Kel, it's not just the saying no to alcohol is the first piece of empowerment, but From there, it just bleeds into every other aspect of your life,

Lindsey: 27:58

Work, friends, family

Tracey: 28:01

You're so aligned with who you are, and you become so clear about it. Because there's nothing distracting you from it. So well said.

Kelly: 28:11

Yes. Love it. Yeah.

Tracey: 28:13

Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. It is. So I think going into a dry 30, whatever you want to call it. Abstaining for 30 days, if that's what it starts out as. It's all about anything else that you're going to tackle in life. It's about mindset. And I think what we're trying to say is the mindset shouldn't be, Oh my God, I got to give up alcohol for 30 days, or that it's a death sentence, or that, you're going to be gay. clenching your fist for 30 days and your end goal is to get to 30 so you can have that drink. That shouldn't be what you feel is the reward at the end of it. The reward should be all the things that you discover each day. You're carrying yourself through it.

Kelly: 29:00

Yes.

Lindsey: 29:01

Kelly, didn't you have a calendar or something that you would cross off? Yeah, I just printed like monthly view and had it in my bedroom and then I just would cross off each day that I decided not to drink. That feels so good to cross off.

Kelly: 29:15

It's encouraging, yeah. It's like visual. Yeah, I'm very visual and yeah, I've done a lot of tracking and goal setting and stuff like that with work. So it just was a natural thing for me to do that, I think. But I'd recommend it. It was super encouraging.

Lindsey: 29:31

I love that. And they have apps too, they have apps like Reframe. I don't know if you guys have heard or seen about that app. It is an app that's designed to help you cut down the amount that you drink or go alcohol free altogether. So there are things like that can help you moderate. Because like you said, some people can't just do or are too afraid to do just cold, like I'm giving it all up all at once, instead of having five drinks. I think it's

Tracey: 30:06

great to, like I said, re evaluate when you come to the 30 days, because if you re evaluate and try to push it out and keep some of the good habits that you established, I think at minimum, you might at least end up drinking less. Than you were before.

Kelly: 30:25

Because I imagine you would just have a new awareness about everything and how you're feeling and how much you're spending. That's another thing that people could do too. We were spending like probably 35. Just for alcohol every day and then whatever snacks we had and you guys know some of those were pretty extreme. Yeah, track how much money you're saving and then do some, do something fun with it. Go to the spa bar. Yeah. That's a great idea, Kel. Use that as your reward instead of a binge drink. Yes. Yeah, I think maybe with your dry 30 journal, you should have a little piggy bank where you plop the money you would have spent on your bottle of wine or whatever, and I love it, calculate it up at the end of the month. And yeah, The visual is amazing. I love visual, too. I'm a very visual person, so I love that idea. And I think that's the importance, of some sort of journal or writing down your thoughts and feelings during the process so you have something to look back on. Because, 15 days later, you might not remember that day one you felt this and, the progress you've made. It's easier looking back and writing

Lindsey: 31:39

your fears about I think I even did that. I have some journal things that I go back and open books I find and packing some stuff and getting my home ready for showings and stuff. I was like, Oh, this journal and I open it up and I'm like, Oh, holy cow. The things that I would write or the things that I prayed for, the things that I was trying to manifest and then looking at my life now. So if I was going to do it again, cause I actually, I didn't do a journal when I. Stop drinking alcohol, but I would have written down in there things holding me back from giving it up and stopping consumption of it like fears, things I thought would go wrong, things that I thought I couldn't handle, and then yeah, just every day a couple sentences, and then at the end go back and read what you wrote on before day one, or even on day one, and then Yeah. write down how you feel at the end. It would be powerful. And I bet they would be so different that you even that's evidence there that would build your confidence. Hey, I am better than I was 30 days ago. And I think even though I didn't write it down, mentally I did this, and I was like, okay, it kept me going, I got to a point where I felt so great, I was like, I can't even fathom having another drink I would feel like I would just undo all of it, that was whrapl I think that's a good question at the end, is maybe to ask yourself the hard questions of, was it really as hard as I thought it was going to be? Were people asking me why I wasn't drinking? Was I getting drilled? Was I getting influenced? Or was it a cakewalk? Did I walk through it and nobody else really noticed? And like you said, Linds evaluate some of those fears you had. And were they diminished? What if it was super tough for somebody could you then evaluate it and see how you navigated it and came out the other side alive still like you didn't die, right? Like you're still alive. How, challenges build you they help you grow. So if somebody is giving it up or thinking that they're going to have a really tough time with it it could be a positive thing. It could help you. Push outside your comfort zone.

Kelly: 34:01

Like I did it. I did it even though it was hard. It was hard. I navigated it. Maybe I had to cut some people out. Maybe I had to have really tough conversations that I didn't want to have. Maybe I cried in front of people that I was embarrassed to do that in front of or something but you know what? Those things probably needed to happen. And it's taking you somewhere. That's the thing you can't see that far ahead, but I think you just have to stay the course.

Tracey: 34:28

Then the empowerment piece comes back in too, right? That's another thing that's very empowering is when you do make it through difficult things without alcohol. Like the first time you make it through something hard and you didn't have to have a drink to cope with it.

Kelly: 34:46

A wedding, a death a separation yeah, go through it all. Yeah. It's yeah, but like financial struggles. It's Yeah.

Lindsey: 34:57

Yeah. And notice the difference with your kids if you have kids, because I think there is a natural presence. That starts to exist that probably didn't exist before with your children.

Kelly: 35:13

For sure. Like when Lindsay was talking at the beginning about, how do you want your Christmas to be? I love Christmas and, I loved when the kids were younger. My kids are older now. We still have lots of fun at Christmas, but when they were little, I was fucking hungover on Christmas morning. Like I loved watching them open their gifts and, having big breakfast and stuff like that, but I was dragging my ass.

Tracey: 35:35

And Linz has said to before that one of the best gifts you could give yourself is a alcohol free Christmas, right? Especially if you have kids because you're just so present.

Kelly: 35:48

So present. It's, yeah, that's such a gift for them. It's so funny to think about what you just said, Kel, about dragging your ass because that's just... And I did a ton of shit on Christmas, right? Three kids, like I was doing it all. Sorry.

Tracey: 36:05

No, but that's what I noticed is that the energy level in comparison, when you're drinking and when you're not drinking I feel like when you're drinking, the energy is just get me through the day. You're dragging your ass like you couldn't describe it any better. Whereas, when you're not drinking. You just wake up, you're ready to go and you can carry that energy, you know,

Lindsey: 36:32

have your tea, have your ginger, have your, I, yeah, I love that. And I think your emotions are so much more balanced, regulated. Yeah. That's the other thing. Yes. Yeah. It's crazy. I love those annual Christmas Eve fight cries. Those are great with the family, the sisters. But that would happen almost every year. Somebody would get in a fight. Someone would get in a fight and be crying and, oh man.

Kelly: 37:03

Oh my gosh. It's amazing how those things don't happen when you remove alcohol. Yeah, because I had my fair share of those two. Anyways, do we have anything else guys any last minute tips. Any other tips for the holidays, in general,

Lindsey: 37:24

my biggest tip is, bring your own drinks. Tell people ahead of time that you're not drinking, so it's not so awkward for you when you get there. You don't have to do a bunch of explaining. And write down, or even in your mind, define who you want your holidays to go.

Kelly: 37:41

I love that. Yeah, I would say you don't have to wait till January. Do it now. Cause I love everything that you were saying about Christmas and being present and don't do it as a punishment because you've been drinking too much. Just. Do it as an experiment, like Trace said.

Tracey: 38:00

yeah, for sure. And if you're someone who likes a challenge, no better way to challenge yourself than to do it now. You're gonna grow, you're gonna grow from it. Yeah, I'm someone who likes to think that I'm usually up for a challenge, so I do usually like to challenge myself to push myself outside my comfort zone. So for me, like I said, I quit in November, pretty close to Christmas, right before Christmas. So similar to Lindsay. But yeah, and you know what? I made it on the other side and I kept going. Yeah. I think that's all we can try to do. That's right. Take one day at a time.

Kelly: 38:38

One day at a time. See what happens. If you drink on day two, that's okay. Keep on keeping on. I'm keeping on and just be mindful guys for the holidays. Because I know we have people who aren't necessarily alcohol free that listen to our podcast and we love you all. Just be mindful. Be inclusive and don't put people on the spot about drinks.

Tracey: 39:00

Exactly. Perfect.

Kelly: 39:01

Give them cool options. Go to the sober market. If you live in toronto, give them Kool Aid. I was like, what kool Aid yummy. Don't drink the Kool Aid. That's a whole nother drug of choice. Kool Aid the sugar drug jug. Yes, the sugar. Oh, God. Yeah, we'll have lots of holidays. Yeah. Yeah. And don't beat yourself up. If you, Ooh, that's the other thing. If you give up, if you drink a lot of wine, like I used to, and when you give it up, you're going to crave a lot of sugar. So do not beat yourself up. Over eating some extra holiday treats.

Lindsey: 39:43

I think it's a win. You're not drinking the booze. You're not poisoning yourself like that. You're eating more cookies or chocolate or candy. Be kind to yourself. It's not cravings go away. I think, yeah, still a win. It all get out of your system eventually. That's right. Okay that was awesome, girls, and we'd like to wish our listeners a very happy holiday we will look forward to Connecting back up with you after the holidays and in the new year. And we can chat about some new year's resolutions and what we have planned for 2024. Thank you again for listening. Thanks for tuning in for the last 10 episodes. It's been a great start to season three. You can follow us and we will be posting some content while we're off. Of course, follow us on Instagram at LAF Life Podcast and in our Facebook community at Laugh Life. And if you want some LAF Life swag, you can get some now, or you can check out our new website at www. laughlifepodcast. com. Until next time. And 2024, keep laughing.

Kelly: 41:00

Thank you for listening. Please give us a five star rating like and subscribe, share on social media and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the LAF life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.