Spirituality & Sobriety, Finding purpose without alcohol Season 3 Ep. 14

What are we seeking when we are drinking? Are we searching for more meaning or lacking purpose in life and that's part of why we lose ourselves to alcohol. Is drinking part a ritual we practice? We explore these questions and many more in this episode.  We reveal some of our favorite spiritual practices that have helped us find a deeper purpose in sobriety. Living alcohol free has allowed us to rediscover our child like curiosity and explore new rituals that have brought us closer to something bigger than ourselves!

Recommended Reads: 
Eckhart Tolley https://eckharttolle.com/
Deepak Chopra  https://www.deepakchopra.com/

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**Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this episode are not professional or medical opinions. If you are struggling with an addiction please contact a medical professional for help.

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Transcript

Kelly: 0:02

Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey Djordjevic, and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories. We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support.

Lindsey: 0:39

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the LAF Life podcast. We're so glad that you're here with us today. We are going to be talking about spirituality and sobriety and how to find meaning without alcohol. I think these two things intersect. And alcohol, I think when somebody uses alcohol, you're trying to find meaning, or you're trying to feel better. And I think sobriety, it's definitely a clearer lens. When you are sober versus when you're drinking. I definitely can say that from experience. You're free from the distortions that alcohol causes, if that makes any sense. Yeah. I don't know. I think there are different ways without alcohol that you can deepen your spiritual practice, meditation, prayer going to church. I think sobriety can open up a deeper understanding of yourself and you're able then to connect with others around you that have common interests. I know when I just, quit drinking and the beginning of my sober journey, I found my way back to church. Was going every week because I felt like really connected there with the praise and worship that was happening I'm somebody that believes in God. I don't necessarily follow any sort of religion or I was raised Catholic. Do I believe in all of the religious things? No, but you definitely feel when you're around people who have the same sort of beliefs. You feel like a certain energy. And I think that I was trying to find that when I was using alcohol, that connectedness, and it didn't go that way for me. I didn't really feel that until I stopped drinking.

Kelly: 2:30

Interesting. Right off the hop, I think we should talk about, there is a difference between you touched on it, Lynn's spirituality and religion. Yes. I found a simple definition I will share my opinion too, but this is a simple definition that I found about spirituality. Spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself. Something more to being human than sensory experience and that the greater whole of which we are part of is cosmic or divine in nature. I love that. I like that definition.

Tracey: 3:05

I was going to say that the definition of that is different for everybody. What spirituality means to anybody is. Yeah. And we shouldn't judge others, either. I think there are some people that are super religious, and I'm just like, whatever works for you. Everybody believes in different things, and I think ultimately at the end of the day, we're all saying the same thing. We believe that there's something bigger than ourselves. And what practices Make you more connected to that energy of something being bigger than yourself. For me, number one is nature. Yeah. That's a spiritual practice for me. Number two is yoga moving my body and like a moving meditation. Wherever you find that connection, that's feels bigger than you, but it is you. I think it's important to point out the difference because none of us went to a, or sorry, Kelly, you did temporarily, but we didn't go through the whole program and. a lot of people don't want to go through that program. Because they feel that it's on the religious side. And they may not be religious. I have a question. Yeah.

Lindsey: 4:20

Do you guys think that alcohol is a religious practice? When I think alcohol, I had my rituals with it, right? I would go to the same LC and I would buy the same bottle of wine and then I would take the same way home and then I would buy the same, food to pair with it. And then I would do my. Netflix and bath, with my wine and it just dawned on me maybe using alcohol. Can be compared to religious practice even. Yeah. I know for myself that I always was a seeker, I wasn't brought up with church or anything like that in my life, so I was seeking it. And we talked a little bit about that before the recording, what it was like while you were drinking and it wasn't great. But I was still seeking proactively probably since 2008, and then I drank for another 10 years.

Kelly: 5:06

Yes. So I think there is ritual in personal spiritual practices. I think that makes sense that that just came to you, that there was ritual in your drinking because you probably at that time did not have a strong spiritual practice. It's something you need in your life. So you were doing it with, and I'm I was too. Yeah. Like the There was a ritual, there was a certain glass that I wanted to drink out of, there was a certain chair that I sat in. Yeah, sure, that's a really good point. What do you think, Trace? That's funny, Linds, I thought you were going a different avenue with that, because I'm thinking What avenue? What do you think? I'm thinking about when they bless you at church and they give you wine and communion, right? And so that's the avenue I thought you were going with that, but did I relate, religious practices or church to that practice? It being that wine is involved in that practice or fake wine normally at church. But that's what the premise is supposed to be, right?

Lindsey: 6:06

I remember my first communion. I think I was in what, nine? And taking that, it is the real wine from the cup and thinking, oh my gosh, like this tastes like ass, like it was horrible, so I couldn't imagine. Actually drinking the stuff for fun or, to satisfy some sort of inner need, yeah, I was just thinking about how it can be very ritualistic,

Tracey: 6:32

yeah, speaking of that, I definitely had my rituals and routine for sure. If you want to look at it that way. I definitely had that too. So where do you guys feel most connected to something bigger than you? What activity or what setting or what?

Lindsey: 6:50

Sitting in the sun, usually sitting on the floor. I don't know what it is about sunshine, on my face with my eyes closed and just feeling myself breathing, deep breathing in and out. And I can just close my eyes. And think about the things that I'm grateful for and think about all of the abundance in my life. And I just think damn, even all of the bad things that I've been through and all of the really hard times, I didn't know how I was going to get through people that I've met loss. It all has brought me. Here, right? Even being grateful that I don't drink anymore. I'm super grateful for that. And I just think, wow, I can't imagine where my life would be if I was still consuming alcohol the way that I was because I was doing it in such an abusive way. It was just weekend binge drinking. yeah, I don't know. So sitting on the floor, I used to have a space in my previous home that I owned in my office there and I just loved that room and I would just sit on the floor, cross my legs, deep breathe, sun on my face and I just felt so connected. I don't know. I love that. I love it.

Kelly: 8:03

I love it. That's beautiful. Yeah, I definitely feel that when I'm in a quiet space or on my own I also feel it though in coincidences or what people would consider coincidences, which I don't believe in, I believe, things come into your life for a reason and happen for a reason. So I believe there's always messaging in that. it's like connecting human connection to me, there's definitely something about that. Makes me feel in touch with something bigger and also through learning education, learning new things. I think being curious. Those type of things are what creates a sense of something bigger for me.

Lindsey: 8:51

I think alcohol blocks all that. I think it blocks you from connecting to that inner voice and the inner being and who you are. I think when we're drinking alcohol, we can't access that. That

Tracey: 9:06

You're definitely not on the road to a higher purpose, right? Because in order to be on the road to a higher purpose, you really have to be doing a lot of things to be more self aware. And when we're drinking alcohol, we're not self aware, we're stuffing down our self awareness. I definitely don't think we're on any kind of spiritual path. When we're drinking, you're right, Linz, I think alcohol acts almost as a blocker to definitely a higher self and limits our potential as well, as far as going down that path.

Lindsey: 9:40

You're vibing at such a low level. I've heard that. I've heard other people and other podcasters and people on this topic say, being drunk is one of the lowest frequencies that you can vibe at. So if you're putting that out there, geez.

Tracey: 9:54

If you think about the people you're surrounding yourself with too, because the people you're surrounding yourself with will also affect your vibration.

Lindsey: 10:03

Eliminating alcohol will let you and allow you to step up and go higher and connect with the people, that are at a higher vibration.

Tracey: 10:11

Yeah, absolutely.

Lindsey: 10:13

Not in a way that it's like, Oh, I'm better than you now because I don't drink. It's in a, I think we, inside of us, we know who we are. Even if we're distorted and drinking alcohol and we don't have our quote unquote shit together, I think we know who we are. We have this feeling inside of us We know the kind of person we want to be the life we want to have I think we all sit and daydream about things I think if you're daydreaming about things too, I'm a big daydreamer. I just envision things and I think of things and yeah, I do that more often Now that I'm not drinking and I think if you put that out there, that kind of comes back to you.

Kelly: 10:52

Yes. Yeah, I feel like that's the same energy Trace was talking about, like the curiosity, if you think of all of the things that made you an amazing little human when you were small, those are the things that come back. Like we numb it out and there's also not just alcoholic society you lose that curiosity around all things and creation and stuff like that. But yeah, I feel like that's one of the gifts being alcohol free is having all that come back to me. Creativity. That's another. Yeah. Yeah. Making art or just being creative. I just moved and, trying to fit. Things in new spaces and that's a spiritual act that nesting and all of that. But I have that creation. I'm like, how am I going to fit this over here when I bring this here? Yeah. I wouldn't have had space for that before. Going back to what Lindsay said it's that inner voice is something speaking to you. That is, pushing you to a different or potentially higher place that inner voice is a signal of you connecting with your spirituality I believe. And yes, Energy in general, like you're saying, Kel, the energy you're creating in your space. All of that, is connected to taking you to a different place or a different level, or trying to create a different vibration for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Plants, all the plants in your space, they're breathing life and energy into it. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. Taking care of plants. That's a spiritual practice. Love

Lindsey: 12:28

It is for sure. Taking care of yourself is a spiritual practice. When you're not drinking and you're choosing to do healthier things, that is a real act of self love, I think. And self love and self care, can be very spiritual.

Kelly: 12:44

Absolutely. Yeah. I do want people to understand that they don't necessarily need to find a higher power to quit drinking though, because I think a lot of people connect those 2 things as well. Inevitably, it's a decision that starts with yourself. And then you'll probably find that naturally you just evolve from there once you make that decision, because you're no longer shutting down those parts of yourself that kind of take you or lead you to more self awareness a higher sense of self and inevitably going down the path of being more spiritually connected to something bigger than yourself. Yes. And I like what Lindsay said about her spiritual practice is sitting on the floor and being in the sunshine. It doesn't have to be, have an altar set up or going to church or, it's so simple. Like I'm a big believer in meditation with my Reiki clients. I'm like, you don't have to light the incense and sit on your special pillow and all that stuff. It could be three really long deep breaths in your car before you go into the grocery store. That's a meditation. That's a spiritual practice. Don't overcomplicate it. Yeah. It's the little things again. Yeah. We say that a lot, but even going for a walk, which is connected to just being out in nature. Yeah. My gosh, getting that energy flowing through your body and the lessons in nature, the lessons that we can learn from just observing nature and the flow of nature and how a tree goes through the seasons, everything we can learn in nature is direct, reflection of living here as a human. Yeah. And I think there's just a lot to learn going for a walk because you have the space to be with your own thoughts. Yeah, go for a walk without your phone. I highly recommend leaving your phone at home. And going back to what Linz was saying about sitting on the floor, like for me, there's something about the sunshine on my face that instantly brings me gratitude.

Lindsey: 14:47

And calm, like instant calm,

Kelly: 14:50

the sun is medicine. I truly believe that. Yeah. It's that shot of vitamin D that we all so desperately need. Yeah. So have you guys read any good? Spiritual books, what would you, if somebody was like, yeah, this all sounds great, but like, how do I bring something like this into my life? Ooh,

Lindsey: 15:09

that's a great question. I'm like the Bible. Good. Okay. But I don't know, take that with a grain of salt. I could get into so many different topics on that, but I'm just like, I think it's more of. Reading one of those stories and then finding the metaphor in it and how it relates to real life, right? Even today, I think there's a lot of relevant stories about perseverance and overcoming challenges. And I think even studies show that people who have faith in something live better qualities of life. So it's just, yeah, I'm trying to think off the top of my head. I do have a bunch of books and I'm trying to think of titles now, but I'm put on the spot and I'm just like, Alzheimer's

Tracey: 15:56

I like Deepak Chopra, he has a lot of great books. One of my favorite books growing up was called The Way of the Wizard. It wasn't probably 1 of his more known or popular ones, but I really liked that 1. The Celestine Prophecy. That was a good 1 to Mike had talked about there's a little movie on YouTube. That's based on that book. But I read the book and the book was very good. The book to me was a lot more powerful messaging, like a lot of books in comparison to movies. There's lots of podcasts out there too even Deepak Chopra has spiritual, like little meditations. They're very short and each of them has is intentional and very specific. And you can listen to them in the car on a 10 minute drive. Those I found really great. And they just open your mind to think about more things. That's what it's all about really, it's a journey. Like there's no end, I don't think. Like being spiritually enlightened or whatever that means. But, yeah, it's a daily. Thing to have in your life. Yeah. I love the book, the Alchemist. Oh yeah. The great book. I just gave that to my almost 18-year-old and Eckhart Toley. The first one I read is called A New Earth, but I think the first introductory book of his would be The Power of Now. Yeah. And it's about living in presence and Yeah. And the ego. Lots on the ego, but it's really good. It's an easy read. That would be my. go to's for beginner books. But I still read Eckhart all the time. I like that you mentioned things like gratitude as a practice. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's a spiritual practice. Yeah. For sure. I think the three things you're grateful for right now.

Lindsey: 17:43

It can be so quick. Even do it daily. Like when you wake up, your alarm goes off. Don't go to your phone right away. I used to do that. I used to just immediately, first of all, I used to have my cell phone as my alarm. So you've got to reach for it to turn it off and then guess what? It's in your hand and then you're in the scroll hole and what a crappy way to start your day. But yeah, just take a deep breath, sit on the edge of the bed, think of the three things that you are thankful for, grateful for, or think of, how you're going to have a great day. Think of that cup of coffee, that's the first thing I think of, right? You can enjoy that, think of I don't know, listen to an audio book as you're getting ready. look at yourself in the mirror. And that's one thing that I can do now that I would just want to vomit when I did that. Waking up after a weekend of binge drinking and looking in the mirror just felt like garbage. I didn't even want to look at myself. I don't think I did, honestly. I don't even think I was really looking. No, you can see, but you're not even really looking look in your eyes and tell yourself three things about yourself that you are thankful for or that you love. Start your morning like that with gratitude, I think is such an important thing. You can even write quickly just three things down on a piece of paper or in a little book. Keep it by your bed.

Tracey: 19:01

I was going to say journaling or using affirmations. Yes. Affirmations can be good too. Kel, coffee is a ritual too. Absolutely. It's a spiritual ritual. My morning ritual is, I love my morning ritual so much. And yeah, coffee's the main character.

Lindsey: 19:22

I think just also seek inspiration, surround yourself with inspirational content, whether you're getting that on Instagram or books or podcasts, listen, do something like that for yourself, driving to work and you're going to be, the drive is hard or it's, long, learn something. Yeah.

Tracey: 19:40

I agree. I think inspiration. Seek inspiration. Is a big driver. Yeah. What did you say, Trace? I think, I agree. I think inspiration is a big driver. Yeah. And do something creative. like you were saying, like paint or, yeah, I bought a paint by number. I started it just before my move, so I saw it today. I'm like, oh, I can't wait to get back to this, or

Lindsey: 20:03

no, not the paint by number. What am I remembering? Didn't you buy an adult coloring book? Yeah. You do that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah,

Tracey: 20:09

When you quit drinking. You might not think you're a very creative person and then you might surprise yourself because I think that's something you also shut down or block is your creative energy. We all have creativity in us, but yeah, we block it I used to say to myself all the time. I'm not creative. Where'd that come from? I don't know. Music as a spiritual practice. Ooh, I love that one. Music and dancing and singing. Open your throat chakra. You need help with that. And get all that energy out of your body, right? That's what dancing does, just like exercise. Yeah. Yeah. Releasing a lot of physical energy. Shaking off the cobwebs. Yeah. running. I know people that run, that's a spiritual practice running to me is like a very A type personality. Yeah. I have never. I'm just, I'm not an A type person, so that is why I've never ran. Yeah. Yeah. But I've talked to runners before and it's that same, body mind soul spirit connection that I get on the yoga mat, they get it when they're out there running. So I can relate. Do I ever have a desire to try it out? I do not. It's like a ritual. Yeah. The people that I know that run. It is like ritualistic to them.

Lindsey: 21:34

It's about pushing yourself to just when you think you want to quit or you think you can't, and then you go just like even 30 seconds more and you're like, huh, I did it. Like I could go further. I could push harder that feels really good. I know I just got a treadmill. I did my first one yesterday and I'm like, I am sore today, but what am I going to do? After this recording, I'm getting back on it. I just feel like it's improving, me physically and challenges me mentally and emotionally because there's a lot of emotion that comes up when you do something like running. You can get really pissed off and I get sometimes even irritable or frustrated and you just have to like work through that. And then you're like, okay, I got through it and I'm still going, Yeah, resilience. You're building resilience that I don't think you're just born resilient. You have to build that up building character. Yeah,

Tracey: 22:30

I have ran before. And 1 thing I can say is I do think it definitely helps mentally clear your mind almost like walking. But. It wasn't my favorite activity. That's for sure. It's not something that came naturally to me either. It required a lot of work to even get to say, 5k. There's so many other physical activities that I enjoy so much better.

Lindsey: 22:54

Yeah, and pick something that resonates with you, right? You don't want to

Kelly: 22:58

think to yeah in early days, I was like, oh, my God, what am I going to do with all this time? And I had no idea what I wanted my hobbies to be or what I was interested in because I lost all of it. My hobby was drinking. So just be curious listen to podcasts, go into, the community alcohol free groups and things like that and see what other people are doing. That's how I found the colouring books, Linz. Yeah. Like I'm like, Oh, that sounds interesting. I don't know if I'll like it, but I'll try it. Cause this person said, just be curious and try out different things. Try walking, try running, try yoga, try treadmills, like whatever. Something's going to be like, Hey, this is good. Yeah. Yeah.

Lindsey: 23:38

I never thought of that, how I lost hobbies or motivation, drinking alcohol was a total motivation killer. Yeah. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to do anything but drink and eat. And then the next day I didn't want to do anything at all. I just wanted to stay in bed and I just wanted to eat garbage,

Kelly: 23:58

but weren't you shocked by how much extra time you, I know you were a weekend drinker weren't you shocked with all the extra time you had on the weekends?

Lindsey: 24:05

I was actually, because here's the thing, I'm up at 6 or 8 a. m. I'm not sleeping till 1 p. m., and I used to find the weekends would go so fast, so fast. They still fly by, but, I'm just like more mindful about what I'm doing with my time. I don't have to accommodate a hangover, right? That would often dictate what I could do, right? Even, I would be so hungover sometimes that I couldn't even go to the thing that I committed to doing. the next day, right? Then I become this person that bails, doesn't show up for people. I couldn't even show up for myself. So spiritually that's killing me inside because I know that don't want to be that person, yeah, I used to do that a lot.

Kelly: 24:52

Yeah. I was trying to do that at the end. Yeah, I just found that everything really opened up for me when I stopped drinking as far as my motivation, my creativity my curiosity again, my willingness and desire to learn new things and. Yeah, everything came back tenfold from what I remember being like, when I was in my early 20s, trying to explore life my zest for life just came back, right? Yeah, that's such a good way to describe it. Yeah, and everything was just like, everything just opened up. And with that opening. I think I really became more self aware because of all that openness and all that information and energy from so many different things is flowing in. And, you're doing things to increase that and to be more intentional and focusing on it. It's amazing. Then with all those things combined, you just start being at a higher vibration and feeling more connected to yourself and your spirit and. On a higher path, and I don't think it necessarily starts out amazing like I remember the first few weeks of not drinking, just feeling really agitated and emotional and thinking. This fucking sucks. I don't feel good, wasn't like picking up a Eckhart Tolle book the first day I quit drinking and Lindsay, I don't think you were going to church. I was not. Yeah. It's no, I was in bed. Like I could barely stand myself to be in my, this, what is this life? And I think I was so exhausted. When you say I was in bed here's the thing, on a Friday after a long week of work, I would be completely drained and exhausted from work, but also the previous weekend's recovery, right? And I remember feeling so tired thinking to myself, I just want to go to bed. I just want to crawl into my bed. At eight o'clock PM and go to bed and sleep till eight the next day. But what did I do instead? I went and I got wine. I was still tired. I sat up and did stupid things like, not that Netflix is stupid, you're not doing anything meaningful and I'm staying up for this and I'm pushing myself to stay up later than I should be staying up drinking. So now I'm putting this stuff into my system and now it's two in the morning. And I thought to myself before I just want to be in bed by eight, right? So just perpetually exhausted. So I think when you said all I wanted to do was lay in bed when I first stopped drinking, that is also what I thought to myself. I'm gonna have this time to sleep. I haven't slept well in so long that, now I'm like, if I want to take a nap on a weekend guess what? That's what I'm gonna do. And if I'm going to bed on Friday at 10 p. m. instead of three in the morning because I decided to stay up and listen to music by myself and watch Netflix and down two bottles of red wine. I'm going to go to bed and then I'm going to wake up the next day. And then I'm like, okay, I had to play catch up basically for how I treated myself so badly all those years. Crazy.

Tracey: 28:24

Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It's like you made it up with sleep and rest. I was making it up energetically. As soon as I stopped drinking, I was like energized. It's like my energy was low and I was at When you were drinking. Yeah. A lower level. Oh yeah. And then you're like, Hey, drinking. Yeah. So it really suppressed my energy. So I've always been a high energy person. I used to drive my ex nuts'cause I wouldn't sit down on the couch for three minutes. Yeah. So for me almost instantly, my energy was increased, but then it's like, what do I do with all this energy? I think for me, there was you think it's a boredom factor oh, I'm bored. What am I going to do now? Until you figure out what you want to do and the things you want to focus on, then you're not bored anymore. That's where the creativity comes from boredom. And I just want to say, I've said this before on the podcast, but like something that really shook me and shocked me was the grief that I had to go through while I was in bed. The grief of losing that best friend really hit me hard. What best friend? My wine. So that was pretty shocking and I didn't expect it at all. So I like to just mention that when we talk about these things because I'm glad you did say that because I think we, our listeners need to hear that. It isn't all going to be rainbows and unicorns when you're like, okay I'm deciding I'm not drinking starting tomorrow. You're going to go through some stuff. Yeah. I went through, I didn't go through alcohol withdrawal. I went through sugar withdrawal. So yeah, I was craving sugar like crazy and I would, if anybody goes through that, I would just say, just listen to your body. Like you can only do one thing at a time. So eat the Skittles, whatever. Yeah. It's three years later and I'm still going through that Kel with yourself. I think for me, it's an all or nothing thing. I think that's what I figured out about myself. I can't moderate sugar, just like I couldn't moderate alcohol, I'm just a person that if those types of things I have to be all or nothing. Yeah, so for me, it's just better to abstain because then I'll get to a point where I don't crave it or don't want it. And then don't crack from there, because the 2nd, I crack or let some sugar seep into that little crack. I'm on it. I'm back on the crack pipe, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. And you're super self aware, Trace. And yeah, that's, that comes with cutting out alcohol also is having that self awareness of what's good for us and what's not it's like smoking. I used to smoke, right? I actually had that experience with smoking more than I did with wine, Kel. When I quit smoking, I went through a grieving process, like I had lost my best friend. Yeah. So I can totally relate because 100 percent I went through that and I went through like a mild depression. Yeah.

Lindsey: 31:29

How did you get through that? I think for me, it was just more the longer I abstain, the more it was out of my system and broke some of those routines up I did with alcohol as well breaking those kind of rituals. And creating new ones. It's just time. It's like time heals all wounds. They say you just got to give yourself time. There's going to be, it's like the grieving process, you have to give yourself time and eventually over time, things get better. I was the same way with cigarettes. I couldn't moderate cigarettes. I couldn't be all of a sudden a social smoker. That was never happening for me, so I couldn't do it with cigarettes. I couldn't do it with wine. So shocker. I can't do it with sugar either, yeah. Yeah. And back to the spiritual practices. I think the biggest one for me of all has been to learn how to live in a state of surrender and know that there's something bigger than me. Guiding me and that there is already a plan and to stop trying to control everything because that's something that's still, yeah, that's something I still, it's a big work in progress for me is that trying to control things. Wow. Instead of just surrendering and knowing okay, Jesus, take the wheel. Yeah. Yeah. And I think when you're drinking, it helps you not give a shit. It takes that. I don't know how to even word it. I just remember feeling whatever. I don't care for right now. I'll worry about that tomorrow. But some more comes and it's still there or worse. And

Kelly: 33:08

yeah. Yeah, You guys think you drank then to give up control temporarily. I think so alleviate yourself from. Needing or feeling the need to control things, knowing that while you were drinking, you didn't care so much yeah. Probably. Yeah. I thought about it that way, but yeah. It's an escape. Quiet. Like quiet the mind. Yeah.

Lindsey: 33:39

Yeah. But to see that happens artificially with alcohol, because you can work on, without substances actually quieting your mind. It's really hard. It is so hard to sit there in silence and not. Yeah. Have your brain.

Kelly: 33:53

Oh, it's got to be impossible. That's a misconception about meditation. So you think you're going to sit there and your mind is going to be blank. That's not true. Yeah, but I feel like it's actually easier when you're not drinking. Because for me, I think drinking increased that because of the anxiety. Definitely the next day, my mind was way busier than it is now because of the increased anxiety. I actually think that drinking made that worse, constant voice and things in your head. The day after? Yeah. Yeah. The next day. Yeah. Yeah. I just mean while I was drinking through my drinking career, I definitely had more buzzing going on in my head because of the alcohol and the increased anxiety. I find it way easier now to calm that and control that I can get myself out of those type of. Thoughts way easier and quicker now that I'm not drinking because I'm clear minded. For sure. Yeah, I feel like I would also respond to things irrationally and like knee jerk when I was drinking alcohol. If somebody said something to me in person, I would have a response for it. And I would probably regret what I said, but now without alcohol, you're more mindful,, I'm like, okay, wait 24 hours before you send that email, or okay, let's really process this or just even not even process it. Let's just sit with it. And come back to it tomorrow. And I think when you drink alcohol, you don't give yourself that ability. You take that ability away to process things. You just make these snap remarks and judgments and opinions about things. And you may not even be understanding something in the reality of it. You have this distorted view of things or opinions. You're reactive. I was a more reactive person, for sure. I think not drinking really helps to have control over your emotions and not be reactive and to be able to take that minute to think about things or process things that is very empowering.

Lindsey: 36:16

I love that. This is a good convo. I think. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I would be where I'm at six years later without a strong spiritual practice. I think it's important to me anyway. I think it's all individual, right? Whatever you find peace in that's your spiritual practice. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Tracey: 36:36

Yeah. And whatever you find is guiding you. To where you want to be I love it. And if you're drawn to something, if you're curious about something, a book or a podcast or a religion or anything like follow it. I love that advice. That's the best advice.

Lindsey: 36:54

All right, everybody. Thank you again so much for tuning in to the LAF Life podcast. And don't forget, you can find us on Instagram at LAF Life podcast. And we also have our website, laflifepodcast. com. And we'll see you back here next Tuesday with a brand new episode.

Tracey: 37:16

So until then, you guys know what to do. Keep laughing.

Kelly: 37:22

Thank you for listening. Please give us a five star rating like and subscribe, share on social media and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the LAF life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.