LAF Life (Living Alcohol Free)

What's all the Buzz about? Season 3 Ep. 24

• LAF Life Podcast • Season 3 • Episode 24

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The topic for this episode was inspired by a recent burst of social media posts popping up in our feed for products claiming to be healthier "alternative to alcohol".   Another scary new trend of substances declaring they give you "all the BUZZ" of alcohol with none of the negative side effects. We're curious to understand what's in these products and what are the long term effects of using them. As the saying goes if it sounds too good to be true it probably is! We ask the question "why do some many people have the constant desire to be "Buzzed"? Is it just a means of escape? It's become more and more common for people to look to a substance or the next "quick fix" to alter their current state. Why are we relying on these outside sources when we have so many free ones that naturally increase our brains feel good chemicals? This just proves that as a society we still have a lot more work to do on the inside before we stop seeking solutions from the outside.

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Kelly:

Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey Djordjevic, and Lindsey Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories. We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support. Hey everybody, welcome back to the LAF Life podcast. This is episode 24 of season three and we have a topic episode tonight. Tracey sent something really interesting in our group chat the other day that she had seen a couple times on TikTok about these new substances that are out there that create a buzz that aren't alcohol. So yeah, Trace, what's up with that?

Tracey:

My question was, why do we feel that we have to get buzzed? I was just very disturbed by these products. There was 2 of them, actually. It wasn't just 1, there was 2, which is even worse. 2 different types of products. 2 different types of products claiming to give you a buzz, but not have the negative impact that alcohol has. And yeah, it was just to me, ridiculous. I just wonder what has happened in the world or in life that we feel. That it's necessary to get through life or enjoy life being buzzed, like it's so necessary that when we've realized that alcohol is not a good solution or a good substance, and we've learned all the negative things about alcohol now, that they have to come up with something else. It's like the next gimmick. It was like when it. Everybody discovered how bad smoking was, and they decided to come up with vaping as a replacement. And it only took us a couple of years of research to find out that it wasn't any better, if not worse, than smoking was. So what do they think is going to happen with these other products? Right now they don't have the same, negative effects as alcohol.

Kelly:

But what are they? What are they made of? Chemicals?

Tracey:

I don't know, one has something to do with ketones, which is even scarier because it's claiming to help you lose weight at the same time as making you buzzed. Oh boy. All this stuff is very scary to me.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Lindsey:

There's gotta be some positives here, guys, right? If people are hanging on to getting a buzz, what are some of the things that we're getting out of it? Because we keep going back to it and we want this feeling what are the positives here? Feelings of escaping, right? People wanna be buzzed because they're escaping something. They're numbing out there. I don't know what's another thing that could be a positive like a social lubricant. I don't know if we could say it's a positive we don't even know what it is like if it's like there could be, Yeah, I don't know if it's like Not a positive, but what keep driving people to keep using these things or want to use them.

Kelly:

I feel like we talked about this recently on an episode. I feel like it's a self esteem issue. Exactly. We can't be ourselves in a social situation. And then we don't know how to manage stress.

Lindsey:

And we don't want to face challenges. I think either like we don't like just deal with life in general and just be with our feelings, learning how to be with our feelings, learning how to manage stress and eliminate some stress. We can eliminate all of it, but lifestyle changes, so that Life is more manageable or we're not taking on so much

Tracey:

I think a lot of it is just overstimulation in general in society now. We're so overstimulated and I think that's why we can't process or feel like we can stop to process our emotions and process what's going on or manage stress because we have so much coming at us at once. That is what's bringing on stress. I was thinking about this recently, about, even my own child, but in general, when I talk to my coworkers, like everybody's child now has anxiety. I know we all have suffered from anxiety in our own ways as well, but it seems to be just so much more. Obviously the awareness is there, so it's easier for people to talk about it now, but I think the management of anxiety has become unmanageable and that's why people are talking about it so much. I know when I was experiencing anxiety, I felt like I could somewhat control it and manage it. And I just feel like young people don't feel like they can. Do they not have the tools or

Kelly:

no, now Jessica Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld's wife. She's been talking about this and somebody wrote a book about this generation of kids and how anxious they are. And I believe that The research is based around how much social media is in their lives and having that phone in front of them all the time. But we do too, like adults do too. So I think like you said, Trace yeah, we're overstimulated and we think that, we're going to chill out or, whatever my son, I always ask him what he's doing. He's chilling. So we think we're chilling, but when we have this little mini tiny computer with All this stuff going on it's overstimulating us. We're not relaxing when we're scrolling. We're not. It's not a relaxing thing. We have to find healthier things.

Tracey:

No, it's not a relaxing pastime at all.

Lindsey:

I think we're so used to it, though. We're so used to that dopamine hit. We're so used to the chemical, stimulating the chemicals in our brains. In ways that are not really natural. And I think it flows over into why people want to feel buzzed all the time too. I think people are developing products like the one we're talking about here, because. Some people just can't control wanting that feeling. They just can't control the buzz anymore. They have to be buzzed all the time. And that gets really difficult. If you're drinking alcohol all the time to feel a buzz, that's a slippery slope, you're going to need more and more to get the same effect. And then geez, like the hangovers the next day are terrible. I don't know. I have to look at these products and figure out what's in them, but.

Kelly:

There's natural ways to get this thing that people are looking for though.

Lindsey:

Why do people keep going for these substances?

Kelly:

I feel it more because it's in our face. It's in our face. Somebody is making money off of it, but nobody makes money when you turn your shower on cold. And get that dopamine hit because that's an increase in dopamine or doing a cold plunge. People are making money off these products. So it's in our face and it's in our little thing that we're holding in our hand all the time. I get a buzz when I'm like barefoot outside. There's natural ways to get these things that we're seeking out.

Tracey:

I was going to say, when Linz was saying that, you're right Linz, it's artificial, it's an artificial dopamine hit, really, and we're constantly seeking that, and I think it has to do with all the overstimulation, but I also think you're right, Kel, and I wanted to speak to that too, that it is, the money making thing, it's a corporate thing, it's a political thing, if all these big companies are going to lose money from alcohol sales or whatnot, they have to come up with the next thing to replace that. And so the marketing is going to be blasting out there. Like it does for alcohol on these other products, if they think it's going to be the replacement I was shocked that I was getting this stuff in my feed and I swear to God, I'm probably getting it because I'm alcohol free. So I'm probably getting this shit now in my feed to give me alternatives to alcohol because I'm not drinking it.

Kelly:

Yeah. Ridiculous. Since we're on this topic before we start talking about something else? Can I give some natural ways to increase? Yeah. Okay, the chemicals we. want in our brain are dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins, right? So to increase dopamine, home cleaning, say what you want about that. I I don't enjoy cleaning, but I love having a clean house. So I can see how that could be.

Tracey:

I think maybe I'm sorry, Kelly, I wanted to say maybe like purging. Yeah, like that

Kelly:

nesting. Do you get that nasty feeling sometimes that does feel good? Yeah. Focused work phone detoxes. Cold showers. Oxytocin is the love. That's the love. Yes. So acts of service. So doing something for somebody else. Physical touch. Grateful thoughts. So just quickly find like one to three things that you're grateful for. And active listening. Serotonin, time outside, eating healthy, calm breathing, and sleeping deeply. So having a really good sleep. And then to increase endorphins and reduce stress, stretching your body, baths and saunas, singing and exercising, just moving your body. But those are all things, before we go for a chemical of any sort, those are all free.

Tracey:

If we go back to childhood, Think of our childhood before social media before phones. How many of those things did we do? We played outside all the time.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Tracey:

All the time. We played sports. Yeah. We played games.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Tracey:

Like all those things that naturally are. Yeah. Boost all those chemicals. Yeah.

Kelly:

Like I still love riding my bike. I always say it makes me feel like a kid, but it is. It's that feeling of moving my body vigorously and the wind in my face. It's that same yeah.

Tracey:

I think that's a big difference too. Like kids, I know my kid, it, they don't move like we used to No. We used to walk everywhere, ride our bikes everywhere. And we did it in all sorts of weather. My kid is pretty much in her room on her bed half the time on her damn phone.

Kelly:

Yeah,

Lindsey:

yeah,

Tracey:

and then gets a drive everywhere.

Kelly:

Oh, yeah, my parents didn't drive me anywhere.

Lindsey:

I never got a ride anywhere.

Kelly:

No, I drove my kids. Yeah, I know. It's so true. All this research and all this complicated, stuff, but it's actually not that complicated. I just feel like we've all of us, not just kids. I feel like all of us have become so disconnected from nature, which disconnects us from ourselves, which disconnects us from our intuition because our intuition knows we know what we need.

Tracey:

Yeah,

Kelly:

when we're looking at a phone and we're not connected to our intuition and the phone saying to us, this is what you need. You need to be buzzed. And this is the thing you need to buy to feel this way.

Tracey:

And you were saying, Linds, why would people choose that over the natural things? Because it's a quick fix. And it's lazy, really. It's the lazy way to get that,

Lindsey:

and I think it's accountability as well. The quick fixes. Nothing that's worth it has a quick fix, those quick fixes take the accountability off the individual to say hey, I'm feeling stressed in this part of my life or something about this situation or this person or this relationship or this workplace bothers me, something here is toxic. What am I going to do to deal with it? I'm going to numb out and get a buzz on because that's the only time I feel any sort of relief. I think it's people's way of. Relief. It's that instant, quick fix. What happens is when you're looking to substances, you're actually prolonging the difficulty, you're not dealing with it and you still have to face it at some point. The buzz wears off. That's the thing with a buzz. So when you're using like substances like alcohol, after the buzz wears off, you feel like shit. Cause now you're hung over. And your body, your brain chemicals are so imbalanced, your body wants to be in a state of balance and homeostasis all the time. So then it's like trying to work to get back to being balanced and it's not good. And I even think like things like these non alcoholic substances that have like ester and ketones in them.

Kelly:

What's ester? I don't know. But is it like I'm going to have to google it. You should Google it. okay. Here we go.

Lindsey:

Is it something that like puts people to sleep temporarily?

Kelly:

This is just like the first thing that popped up on Google. It says Esther, any. Of a class of organic compounds that react with water to produce alcohols and organic or inorganic acids. Esters derived from carboxylic acids are the most common.

Lindsey:

So how would an ester give you a buzz?

Kelly:

Okay, this says an ester is an organic compound where the hydrogen in the compound's carboxyl group is replaced with the hydrocarbon group. Esters are derived from carboxyl whatever acid and usually alcohol.

Tracey:

So it sounds like it's still somewhat related to alcohol.

Kelly:

Alcohol. Yeah.

Tracey:

Or it's a natural forming alcohol.

Lindsey:

They tell you in these infomercials or these ads not to drive and if you're pregnant, don't consume them. And it's okay, like that doesn't sound. It sounds like booze, doesn't it? Yeah, it sounds like alcohol. Absolutely. So what's the

Tracey:

difference? Just because they're toting that it doesn't have the hangover effects of alcohol? Like

Lindsey:

Maybe. I don't know. Or I even saw these pills. Somebody was promoting these pills that you take before you go to bed on a binge night. Where you wake up the next morning and you're just like magically not hungover. It's like people keep trying to take away the negativity and the negative aspects of consuming alcohol, but it's like

Kelly:

I was doing that. I was trying to take stuff. I took like those ever revescent tablets in water. I can't remember what they're called right now. They're so expensive too. I bought them all the time and I would drink them before I went to

Lindsey:

I think what's in there like vitamin C and B12 or something like Hydrolyte.

Kelly:

Hydrolyte.

Lindsey:

Electrolyte. Yeah. Oh, electrolytes. Yeah.

Kelly:

Yeah. But yeah, it's electrolytes, but it was called Hydrolyte and there was these tablets and they weren't cheap, but I was convinced that they made my hangovers less.

Tracey:

Less. Yeah, so did Gatorade. Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly:

I don't know what's in that garbage.

Tracey:

Yeah, exactly.

Lindsey:

Sugar and electrolytes. Yeah, that's basically what electrolytes are. Yeah, I don't know. I just think it's a way that people just, they're not facing the difficulties that they have to in their life, and it's a way to numb out and, and it requires or more, in a zero effort, it requires zero effort. Correct. Yeah. Or they're not comfortable in a social situation in their, trying to be buzzed, but just. Be yourself work on yourself. That's a sign if you need something to be in a social situation it's time to work on yourself.

Kelly:

Yeah, that's a weird Yeah, you're right. How you guys noticed that right away. It's like the vape for smoking cigarettes. They came up with the vape, but now the vape is killing people and destroying.

Lindsey:

That's just it. It's even worse than cigarettes.

Kelly:

Guaranteed this stuff that they're coming out with is going to turn out being Garbage as well. It'll be the same.

Lindsey:

It's garbage and we just shouldn't be, I think if you need a buzz to be in any situation, whether it's coming home from work after a hard day, you need to get a buzz on, dealing with a person or a relationship dealing with a workplace, I think anything in your life that you feel like you need to have a buzz for you need to evaluate that thing.

Kelly:

Right.

Tracey:

How about we do a lot more research on things before we're just releasing them out into the world? On another note, I just wanted to mention like Ozembic, for example.

Kelly:

Yeah, what is that? I don't know anything about that, so I'm curious.

Lindsey:

I don't really know about it either. All I know isn't it a medication for diabetes?

Tracey:

It was originally designed for diabetes, I believe, and to treat obesity or they realized it was something they could utilize to treat obesity, but the problem is now everybody and their sister in the U. S. anyways, is going on it because they can get it anywhere. And a lot of celebs are on it because obviously you lose weight. And it is quick fix. Exactly. So and it's a peptide. So peptides are a natural occurring thing in your body. So I think because of that, people are seeing it as something more natural. And it's really being seen like it's this miracle drug or this miracle substance. But there has been reported a lot of extreme side effects that are very like unhealthy. So again, people are using it as a quick fix. People that use that type of stuff, they don't want to put in the work. They don't want to put in the effort of what it takes to, naturally do things to better your body or better your health. So they just want that quick fix of injecting. This is injected to Oh my God, I didn't know that. Yeah, I thought it was a pill. I'm pretty sure you inject it. It might come in a pill form. I'm not an expert either. I just keep hearing more and more about it. And I listened to a lot of podcasts that have doctors on them and that, are science based and research based. And there's a lot of controversy around it right now because like I said, it's being given out like left, right and center in the US to people. And you don't have to necessarily make lots

Kelly:

of money,

Tracey:

yeah, a diabetic or be obese to get it. Yeah, I think you can actually get it online in some places.

Lindsey:

Holy smokes.

Kelly:

I know it just goes back to the whole thing we talked about before about how are you feeling on the inside? Everybody's so focused on losing the weight and how they look. Yeah, I wonder how these people are feeling. I think for somebody who is taking ozempic for weight loss, I'm gonna say besides celebrities and people who are doing it for like pure vanity I think a lot of these people are at their wit's end they'll probably be the people that say I've tried everything I've tried every single diet. I've followed it to a tee. I Can't lose weight and there are people who have Health conditions that probably makes it a lot harder. Definitely not a doctor here or a nutritionist, there's a lot of people that say genetically, I'm struggling or I've tried every single supplement. I've tried every single exercise and it doesn't matter what I do. So I think, those people, I don't know.

Tracey:

I agree with you. I think that was really probably the purpose of this drug originally. And I definitely think there's probably a lot of people on it that are using it for those reasons.

Kelly:

For the right reasons. Yes. And it's been probably beneficial to them in ways. But the sad thing is that apparently it's being diagnosed to a lot of kids. Oh. Or sorry, diagnosed. Prescribed. Prescribed to a lot of kids. Wow. That is the scary thing, because apparently it's a drug you have to be on for the rest of your life. Are you kidding? No, if you go off it, then you're going to lose all the benefits of it. So it's seen as a drug to be on for the rest of your life. Wow, very concerning. Yes. Yeah.

Tracey:

I brought that up, I'm no expert. It's just another kind of shocking scary disturbing thing out there. And I think it's directly related to some of the things we're talking about. Just those quick fixes. Why people think they need these outside sources to solve some of their problems or inside problems. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Lindsey:

I think too, when I quit drinking I was really concerned about boredom. I felt okay, what am I going to do to feel buzzed? It's like I was addicted, not to the substance. I wanted that feeling. I wanted that numbness. I wanted that buzz, but it's like there was a certain point where it just went over the buzz and then it started going downhill. So was there stuff in your life happening at that time that you needed to escape from? Yeah. Yes. Yes. And just doing it in the wrong way, that definitely added more problems. That's the thing we see it as something that's going to take the edge off, give us a buzz, let us escape for a bit, but it actually adds more problems. On to the big, huge pile of mess that you're already trying to avoid. So it never really does what it promises to do. And the problems are the problems are anxiety, could be anxiety. I had gout. I was inflamed. Yeah. Lots of don't like the way you look, you're super out of shape, I don't know. You lose motivation.

Kelly:

Yeah. Yeah, you definitely do. Yeah, you definitely do. Yeah, you're not present with your loved ones. Not present, absolutely. I think,

Lindsey:

having a buzz, you're not present when you're buzzed.

Kelly:

Exactly.

Tracey:

Not to mention what's it, what it's doing to your insides, which, yeah, you don't see on the outside.

Kelly:

I said that the other day to somebody. I'm like it's poison. I used to say I don't care if you drink, but if you're somebody in my life and I care about you, you're drinking poison and it's only a matter of time. Yeah. So in the last year and a half, two people that I know of directly have died before the age of 45. What? Alcohol. Oh, man. It's only a matter of time. If you're drinking very heavily, then it's going to catch up with you sooner. For sure. If you're drinking casually. It will catch up with you, whether it's 40 or 45 or 50. It's just slower. It's the quality of life. So yeah

Tracey:

and we talk about the things that we experienced and we weren't even drinking at the level of some people out there. I talk about what I've experienced, so I can't imagine if I had kept drinking at that pace or more for another year or another two or three, right?

Lindsey:

I couldn't tell you. I don't think it would have ended well. I couldn't maintain what I was doing. It was so toxic to my health. I fell and broke up my collarbone. I was just going to say that

Kelly:

if it isn't killing us, yeah, if it isn't killing us on the it is killing us, but if that doesn't get us first, you could have an accident. Look at our list. The accident, yeah, you had an accident.

Lindsey:

I just bought her book because I wanted to know what the accident was. I know. Awesome.

Kelly:

But yes, exactly. Yeah.

Tracey:

And these other substances. Okay. Who's to say. We don't know that over time, you wouldn't need more and more of them as well. And what are the repercussions of that going to be? Like, they're saying, Oh, yeah, just have a couple of these, you get a buzz. Some of them are saying, this is a kicker too. You get a buzz quicker than a glass or two of wine.

Kelly:

And then if you continue to consume it, will you be intoxicated? I'm curious. I have

Tracey:

no idea. We don't know. Not to drive. Don't have it when you're pregnant, so I assume,

Kelly:

what in the world, you guys?

Lindsey:

That scares me more than alcohol, to be really honest, and I don't know why.

Kelly:

There's like a new, unknown substance out there.

Lindsey:

That's like when vaping came out. Nobody really knew too much about that, and everybody was like, This is awesome, we can do it in restaurants and everywhere, and on, remember when people would just walk around and vape and blow this frickin puff of steam? It smelled really good, but I don't know nobody really knew what the hell it was.

Tracey:

Yeah, but you know what? I feel the same kind of about pot, too, and legalizing marijuana. I realize it has its benefits, and Medicinal purposes, but people aren't using it in that way. They're abusing it. And we have a lot more children now using it because it's so accessible. And that is where it has the biggest impact. If you look at research, it has a bigger impact on people in their 20s. Using it and then say someone in their 40s because it is affecting their brain because their brain is still developing at that age. Yeah. That to me is a bit scary too. It would be great if people were just utilizing it for its benefits because I know it does have benefits, but I feel it gets abused a lot more often than it's used for good. And I feel like wanting

Kelly:

to deal with life. Yeah,

Tracey:

and I feel like it has been a replacement. I know it has been with some people I know for drinking. I had a girlfriend who cut back on drinking, cut out wine. And this was when I was still drinking and she said to me why don't you just vape when I started talking about, trying to cut down on wine.

Lindsey:

Oh,

Tracey:

and I was like,

Lindsey:

just swapping one thing for another though.

Tracey:

I was like, why would I get rid of one bad habit to replace it with another?

Lindsey:

That's exactly it. No, thank you. You're not dealing with the, you're not dealing with the root cause of why you want to, Escape, numb, get a buzz here's the thing too it doesn't even have to be substances. People do this with food all the time.

Kelly:

I was just gonna say that. Look at how abused food is. That is the most abused substance around. Yeah.

Lindsey:

And it's like, why do you want to do that? Again, it's a way of escaping. That's the thing Yeah, your Doritos and you're mindless when you're doing it you're not conscious about how much you're putting in your body how much you're eating. You're literally numbed out. You're just Going through the motions. You're not even hungry

Kelly:

I know that's what I worried about like when you guys were talking about that diet thing or the weight loss thing and I You know, it's dig into just like we do with alcohol, why was I drinking like that? What was the root cause? Like you said, Linds, instead of trying this diet and that diet and getting this prescription that you're going to be on for the rest of your life, what in the world? Why are you turning to food? What's there? The root cause of the abuse. That's an abuse. We abuse ourselves when we drink the way we were drinking. That's self harm. That's self harm. And that's the same thing is happening with food. In a big way.

Lindsey:

Yeah, it's so true. It's so true.

Kelly:

And it's a buzz.

Lindsey:

I feel like I've been there though, too. It is a buzz.

Kelly:

Yeah. I used to comfort eat a high,

Lindsey:

comfort eat. Yes. Emotional eating. Yeah. Absolutely. It is a buzz. It's like the same chemicals in your brain that are fired. Yeah. But it's going

Kelly:

back to those things, like those little things that I was reading. And there's more, too. That was just a few things you could do. But this is what we should be taught in school. And we're not, it's how to manage guess what? There's lots of emotions. We can't be happy all the time. How are you going to deal with these emotions?

Tracey:

I definitely think it's an inside job, right? Working on the inside first. I think. Part of the big issue though, is I almost feel like we're just being programmed, right? It almost feels like we're a bunch of bots out there being programmed by society to be a certain way, utilize these things to solve our problems because it's making the big organizations and it's like they're controlling everything, including us. Yes. Yes. So I think I feel like we've all lost touch with ourselves because we're just being controlled by everything else.

Kelly:

Yes. Yeah, in that. Yeah, I just had a women's retreat this weekend. So there's lots about going inward and we didn't have phones there are a couple little rules and one of them is not having your phone with you. Yeah. And the reason why we ask that is so that they can be present and go inward. We do a lot of yoga, a lot of meditation. That's where you learn to be okay with everything is when you can take the time to put the phone down and just be quiet, be bored. Be with yourself

Tracey:

and I bet nobody there was feeling stressed, Kel.

Kelly:

No, it was the most joyful weekend. Yeah, it was really amazing to see.

Tracey:

And there's probably people that are resistant to it and then feel so refreshed by it once they let go of the idea of having their phone, right?

Lindsey:

I think that's the biggest transformation. That's when that transformation takes place, is during those times of discomfort. When you just want to get a buzz on or you just want to reach for your phone, but you resist, right? It's those uncomfortable moments, I feel like, everybody knows what that feels like, that's when a transformation happens. You start to be like more aware of, okay, why do I feel so uncomfortable or so anxious or the compulsiveness to like, want to eat this fricking KitKat bar? What's going on here? I know it's not good for me, but yet I want to do it. We have to sit with it. Be okay with it. Also know too, Kelly, you've said it before, it passes,

Kelly:

but that's where the magic starts to happen. What you're talking about, Lindsay, is when we get to a place in our life. And I find that for a lot of people it's around 40 and we start to say like, why am I doing these things that I'm doing that are making my life harder? And then leaning into that discovering and learning why who told me I needed to do this? Or why do I feel this when this comes up? Those things are,

Lindsey:

why do I feel like I need to stay here when I don't, and I hate this situation. Like people just stay,

Kelly:

or why am I laughing? That's why people want, why am I laughing at this really mean joke when I don't think it's funny?

Lindsey:

Yeah. Oh my God. Because people don't wanna go against. The, the, what's the word, not the norm, but the majority, right? You almost feel like embarrassed to, or it's awkward and uncomfortable. You just, but then how do you feel about yourself after you probably don't feel very good, but you stuff it down.

Kelly:

Cause you abandon yourself I knew that alcohol was bad for me. But I kept drinking. So my self esteem was getting lower and lower because I kept on abandoning myself. I knew it wasn't good.

Lindsey:

So drinking is a form of self abandonment then?

Kelly:

I think so. When you know, yeah we all know now. Come on I understand how some people don't understand if some foods aren't, but we all know that there are no benefits to drinking alcohol. Zero. And we've talked about this, you guys, so many times.

Tracey:

Other than being buzzed and numbed out. If you think that's a benefit. If you think that's a benefit. Some people do. But I've learned that it's not. Yeah, that's the thing.

Lindsey:

What do you view as being a benefit, right? So you have to change your mindset.

Tracey:

That's the sad part, is that people do view that as the benefit. A benefit of drinking. And that's why there's these other things that will make you buzzed that aren't alcohol. I'm like, why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Wow. I love how you said that from what Kelly said, Linz, that it's a what'd you say

Lindsey:

self abandonment, form of self abandonment. Yeah.

Kelly:

Yeah. It is. And once we make that declaration I know we've talked about this so many times, but we want to live a healthier life or we want to, age well or whatever. So we're drinking the green smoothies in the morning and then drinking wine at night. That's self abandonment right there.

Lindsey:

Doesn't align with what you really want, like what you say you want,

Kelly:

have some integrity

Tracey:

with yourself. It's internal conflict. And we know how that turns out. I remember it. It wasn't that long ago. It was awful.

Lindsey:

I know. And I think when you start feeling like that, you get a buzz or you wanna have a buzz to not feel that. Not think about it. But I don't know. At a certain point, I think you become wiser oh, this isn't helping me. Okay, I get this short term sort of period of relief, but it comes with major consequences the next day. And I still have all this shit to deal with that I haven't dealt with.

Kelly:

And I see it happening now, with this group of there was 18 of us this weekend and I see it happening. And there's more of a self awareness I find happening right now, because of all the information that's out there and people are turning to different ways of healing and their understanding trauma and all these things. And I love that it is leading to people just saying, you know what, alcohol, it's not for me. And that's it. There doesn't have to be a label. They don't have to declare like anything just yeah, I'm not going to drink anymore. And I love that.

Lindsey:

You don't have to be an alcoholic either to stop drinking. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You don't have to struggle with it. Yeah. It doesn't align. It doesn't fit with the life I want or the person I want to be. Do you have booze at your retreats, Kelly?

Kelly:

No. They get an email about a week before that says it's an alcohol free event.

Lindsey:

And then what's the response that you get from that?

Kelly:

It wasn't this time around, but I did have two people that decided to drink. Not join?

Lindsey:

Oh, they did? They decided? Oh, like they drank it in themselves.

Kelly:

They drank it in their room.

Lindsey:

Got it. Okay.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Lindsey:

Got it. Wow. I bet most people who do your retreat though probably feel pretty confident after if they do it without alcohol. Because I know we've talked about this before on the podcast too a lot of these yoga and beer retreats. Events or women in wellness and wine. I'm no,

Kelly:

that doesn't align talking about alignment. No.

Lindsey:

Yeah. I think. Yeah. Oh, I love that, you do that though. And send out that email and just tell people, how do you word it?

Kelly:

This is an alcohol free event.

Lindsey:

Do you offer an explanation as to why you want people to feel connected and

Kelly:

you just say, if it comes up at the beginning on our 1st evening together then yeah, I just say, yeah, you're going to be more present, but it doesn't usually come up. I love that.

Tracey:

It's interesting because I just traveled and I was telling you ladies that they were serving alcohol at God knows what hour in the morning at the airport, which shocked me because I thought that there was a time where even the liquor stores right didn't open. I think the earliest they could open was 11. But they were serving alcohol at the airport I wouldn't say 930. Our flight was at 930. No, 24 7. 24 7 you can drink at the airport. And yes, I know that because I used to do it. And people were drinking. And I was like, seriously, it's freaking 930 in the morning.

Kelly:

No rules. No rules. I had no rules when it came to drinking on vacation.

Lindsey:

I didn't either. Nine in the morning. It's mimosa time. I'll probably take four of those and let's go. One of the big things that Richard and I are going to do probably this summer is go to an all inclusive resort. And I haven't been to one. I quit drinking. So a part of me is like, Oh man, like I used to associate with holiday and vacation, that buzz, like the champagne buzz or the wine buzz. And I'm like, I had to, and I will have to, do some work on changing my mindset around. And what that means to actually relax, because I would be like mimosas on the beach or whatever, or I don't know, just wine with dinner and beers all day and then you feel like complete shit. Like it wouldn't be uncommon for me to be in a hotel room at an all inclusive vacation, a day after drinking the whole day for an entire day, like I would spend the entire day in my room. Me too. I had those. What the hell kind of vacation is that? What a waste. Yeah.

Tracey:

I'll forewarn you, Linz, though, you won't get as good service as a non drinker. Right? If you're not buying

Lindsey:

and getting drinks. I would say buying, but all inclusive. How was your experience with that, Tracey? Because tell our

Tracey:

listeners you went to Mexico, right? Or no, Dominican. I went to Dominican and my mom was in Jamaica in March and had the same experience.

Kelly:

Not getting good service because you're not drinking.

Tracey:

Yes. Yeah, they're there for the tips. They wouldn't even serve my mom in the local bars if they didn't have a drink. So they actually bought beer just to sit there. Are you serious? Yeah. In Jamaica, yeah, in Jamaica at the local places. I'm not talking about the resort. Yeah. At some of the local

Lindsey:

Mexican Coca Cola in the bottle. Yeah.

Tracey:

It's just that at dinner service, when we were at the ala carte restaurants, as soon as they, they come over and offer you wine or drinks. As soon as you say, no, we don't drink, which we did. You wouldn't see them again, unless necessary. Like they didn't check on your table or come by regularly as soon as they weren't drinking.

Kelly:

Really?

Tracey:

Yeah. And actually, I had this experience too. I had a bartender at the pool bar be very rude to me because I asked him for water and he gave me a very snarky remark. And then I tipped him very generously just to prove a point.

Lindsey:

Oh my God, that's terrible.

Tracey:

Yeah. Oh man, that's really bad. Yeah, I don't know. Otherwise, being on vacation and not drinking was great because I felt good and I got to absorb all the experience.

Kelly:

Yeah.

Lindsey:

Oh, boy. Yeah.

Tracey:

Mind you, on my vacation, I don't know that was so good, but the stressful stuff happened, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I felt it all because I wasn't drinking. I wasn't numbing it away. Yeah, you can manage all your feelings. And it passed, though, right? It did pass, yeah. Good news. It didn't last. It took a little more decompressing. But it's a little bit more decompressing. Yeah,

Lindsey:

closing thoughts on this episode. I just think you don't need to buzz just live just feel it all and you're gonna have to you know what Listeners, you're going to have to develop some coping skills and learn that not every circumstance, good and bad last, and you have to learn to navigate life without, the influence of a substance. We have to quit looking to quick fixes to take things away. Whether it's. Thoughts, emotions, trauma, pain, anxiety I think a lot of people use substances to numb out and they don't really enhance our fun times either. If you're on vacation, it's fun at the time, but you're going to be hung over the next day and it's just not worth it. You have to really think about the person you want to be and the life you want to lead and make a decision whether alcohol fits into your life as that person, that ultimate person that you want to be. What does it fit in? Is that something that he or she or however you identify? Is that something that you do? It doesn't work with me. I'm glad that I discovered that because I couldn't go much longer.

Tracey:

Please do not get sucked into the marketing of these other things. Do not replace one bad thing with another. We don't know enough about them and if you're going to do the work to give up alcohol, don't sabotage it by taking on these other substances that claim that they're going to give you something that alcohol doesn't or, not have the negative effects alcohol does.

Lindsey:

So well said Tracey. Everybody, that is a wrap on today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. We'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions. You can find us on Instagram at LAF Life Podcast. You can always reach out there. We have a Facebook group, LAF Life Podcast. And don't forget to check out our website, laughlifepodcast. com. We will see you back here next Tuesday with a brand new episode. So until then, you guys know what to do. Keep laughing.

Kelly:

Thank you for listening. Please give us a five star rating like and subscribe, share on social media and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the LAF life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.

People on this episode

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Kelly Evans

Host
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Lindsey Harik

Host
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Mike Sutton

Host
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Tracey Djordjevic

Host